Aibu to want to put my man child husband in a nappy?

[Celp28]

😡 need a little vent and possibly for someone to tell me that I’m massively overreacting and this is perfectly acceptable behaviour from an over grown man child! We have both been at work, admittedly he starts earlier than me at 7am until 2 pm, I work 8.30 until 4.30pm. Dh picked up ds2 (3yo) from grandparents. Ds2 is unwell with a cold - so much snot it’d fill the Grand Canyon! Ds2 falls asleep in the car on way home about 3.30pm, dh carries him in and let’s him sleep. I come home at 4.45pm, ds2 still asleep. I ask dh to wake him up while I go to supermarket for needed supplies. 5.20pm I return, ds still asleep. As I walk in the bag splits, shopping spread all over the drive. At this precise moment ds1 (12yo) comes to the door, the dog has eaten a sock and no joke it’s hanging out of his bum ds1 understandably refuses to remove the offending bum sock. So I’m gathering food items from the drive and trying to prevent the bum sock from entering the house. I shout to dh to come help who says he can’t as ds2 needs his nose wiping in his sleep and he’s busy. Wait a couple of minutes, shout for him to bring a poo bag or something to help me retrieve the bum sock before the dog gets in the house. He still doesn’t come. He then shouts that I’m always stressing and finally gets off his bum to come see the commotion. He then literally gags and runs in the house and leaves me with arms full of food and a dog with a sock hanging out his arse! So needless to say, I put my big girl pants on, pulled out the sock, packed away the shopping, woke up the snot monster myself and am now cooking dinner all while he complains that the dog is gross and it’s put him off his dinner just thinking about the sock! Are all men this big a babies? He seriously thinks his life is stressful 😡

[Magpiemagpie]

He also ate a stuffed big bird from sesame st
£800 later and a operation the vet gave it to me in a plastic bag and said big birds dead

[Iamtryingtobenicehere]

If it helps, your terrible day has definitely made me smile. I’m not laughing at you, I really enjoyed the way you wrote and told this sorry but funny tale. Your DH is a big baby, but some of us are sensitive, my DH has to deal with anything like bum socks or snot!

[rosenylund]

I see your bum sock and raise you a very, very, very, very long piece of wool from the knitting bag...

[Mailista]

Did you ever watch Eurotrash? If so, you will know that German men think it's ok to be in nappies.

[MetalMidget]

I remember chatting to a couple about dogs. One of theirs had a tendency to eat the zips off cushion covers, leaving the cover almost entirely intact, and would end up with the zip hanging out of its arse a day or two later.

They ended up avoiding zipped covers. Apparently the dog wasn't interested in other fasteners.

[londonloves]

THis needs to go in classics

[LakieLady]

Reminds me of a friend of mine whose dog ate a ball of string. She noticed the tail of it hanging out of his arse in the park, used two sticks to pull it all out. In her words, 'by the time it was all out I had practically knitted a scarf' grin



Reminds me of a friend who tugged at what she thought was a bit of grass hanging out of her dog's arse.

It was a yard of green tinsel.

Dogs are gross, but your DH is a useless wuss, OP. Ltb!

[missymayhemsmum]

Sorry, weeping with laughter, op. You are a hero! dogs are soo minging.
You are married to a wuss. I am sure he is a wuss with many lovely qualities, but a wuss nonetheless.

And only a very houseproud woman would have the presence of mind to prioritise keeping said bumsock out of the house. I am in awe.

[BeansandSausages]

@noradoor

[posieperkinandpootle]

Magpie your vet bill makes mine look like small change. For £800 I'd have wanted Big Bird resuscitated as well.

[YoureAllABunchOfBastards]

Well, I needed to read this the day before DPup arrives....We can all live barefoot for ever, can't we?

[AreWeDoingThisNow]

My dog once ate a (baby sized) sock. After a tense two days worrying it might cause a blockage she shat it out on the kitchen floor and promptly ate it again, then sicked it up about 10 minutes later. I had to throw her in another room to stop her having a third go while I cleaned it up.

PILs dog will eat literally anything. They semi-regularly have to pull dishcloths out of her arse. She once got to a tin of celebrations, they went all the way through and came out still wrapped.

[choli]

Your 12 yr old was standing right there in the doorway but instead of telling him to pick up the groceries you start shouting for your dh to leave the sick child and come and help? Why is that?

[PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks]

Bum sock is the new naice ham.

[LadyFidgetAndHerHandbag]

Sorry OP but your story has me giggling like a mad woman.
All the dog stories are making me very glad I'm a cat person. Mind you, one of the cats insisted on eating frogspawn from the pond and vomiting black foamy lakes so I shouldn't be too smug! We turned the pond into a vegetable patch which is, as yet, unmolested by the cat.

[AveABanana]

I worked with someone who had a dog that ate socks and anything/everything else. Luckily her DH was a vet but he seemed to be cutting it open before the hair had grown back from the time before.

[rosesandflowers1]

My DH can be oddly weird about some stuff too. He refuses to do the washing up without gloves and won't scrape plates with "gross" food on them, at least without accompanying noises. If that's any condolence!

I did laugh a bit Fair to be cross with your DH - he abandoned you at an awful moment!

[MissusGeneHunt]

Superb!! Bum sock... Just love it!! This HAS to end up in Classics!!

OP I feel for you though, I'm in the same position... Nappies all round....

🐩🐩😂😂

[CaptainKirkssparetupee]

This is going to attract every person on the internet with an adult baby fetish!

[Celp28]

Just to clarify, my husband was watching the chase whilst the snot monster was asleep on the sofa, it was ok to stand up from said sofa to help, he was not performing life saving duties on the snotty child, apparently it was at a crucial part of the show! Who am I to argue with the itv schedule 😂 Also my 12 yo was holding the dog by the collar to stop him entering the house and depositing the bum sock on the floor, or worse! Can you imagine if he did the worms bum skid along the floor 😝

[Magpiemagpie]

My DH blames me and my son for eating his eggs that he had wrapped up in tin foil in the kitchen

Nope it was darling dog who ate the eggs, the hard shell,and the tin foil which proceeded to come out the other end all nice and sparkly and perfectly flat 😂

I felt very vindicated to prove that it wasn’t me that ate his bloody eggs and tin foil

[Thehop]

I’m howling xxx

[welshmist]

Had fun one xmas. Dog started to poop in the garden I spotted something shiny emerging with the pooh, when he had finished I put my foot on this stringy stuff. A complete garland of tinsel emerged.

[DuchessAnnogovia]

BUM SOCK!! I'm crying here lol. Like you I've pretty much been the one to do all the icky jobs as DH has a delicate stomach (so he says) so I'm the official snot/shite/wee clearer-upper. I've dealt with abscess' on the cats and dogs, I've dealt with elastic band removal from the cats arse....

[StepsRoadmum]

😂 😂 😂 😂That's hilarious. Bum sock. I'm sorry for not being more sympathetic but that has actually just made me laugh out loud. Thank you for sharing and if it makes you feel better you just cheered me up after a pretty stressful day myself so I hope I can return the favour for you one day.