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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think moving ourselves is a crazy idea.

231 replies

havingiraffe · 12/07/2018 12:20

Planned move date is around middle of August. Haven't started any packing or even decluttering yet. We currently live in a large 3 bed with garage and massive loft full of stuff moving to similar sized 4 bed. We don't have much furniture, no wardrobes for example. Most of our furniture we do have is cheap IKEA crap but we do have a couple heavy oak living room furniture items and massive corner sofa. I feel like we do have a lot of stuff though as we both have hobbies that come with lots of kit and we also have a 3 year old....oh and I will be 5 months pregnant at the time of the move. It about a 5 hour drive to our new house (moving from Midlands to Borders Scotland) so looking at a 2 day moving plan.

My husband is baulking at the quotes coming in for a removal company. Cheapest has been £1300 and that's us doing all the packing and breaking down beds etc. His plan is hire a couple of sprinter type vans and move ourselves with the help of a couple mates. We moved ourselves 8 years ago from a 1 bed unfurnished flat to here but I think he has massively underestimated the amount of stuff we have accumulated since then. He also thinks if we can't fit the furniture in we can just dump it as it's not worth the cost of moving it.

I don't disagree that this will be cheaper (although if we have to replace most of our furniture with new it won't save us money but we get new furniture iyswim) but I think it is completely impractical, friends can be unreliable and it's a big ask, having a little one and getting anything done is difficult (and she won't be in childcare at that time) and I'm going to be having kittens about getting everything packed and loaded within the timeframes. My husband doesn't have the best time management skills, I can just see us up all night the day before the move and then on the day frantically trying to stuff things into a van with the buyer waiting for key handover!!

Just need a reality check am I right in thinking this is just not possible!!!

How do I persuade my husband?

OP posts:
londonrach · 13/07/2018 06:25

I used to move every year and dpil and us did 99 percent and then we got a man and his van and mate for the bed as mattresses are heavy. Last time we moved i was pregnant so no lifting. It was hard for the others. Pay the proessionals op its worth it as they quicker than you, have the right equipment and reduce the stress moving causes.

sendthecoffee · 13/07/2018 06:32

We have moved six times in seven years, each time whilst being heavily pregnant or with little children. One of the moves was cross country. We've never paid anyone - we've hired a van and done it with the help of my dad and brothers. Costs us £200 for the van and fuel and did it all in one day - even the cross country move!

londonrach · 13/07/2018 06:32

Op...start packing and getting rid of things now. We pack for a month before hand. Turn one room into your box room. We did that in a 2 bed flat..end of lounge...ended up not being to use the lounge but made moing day so much easier. Pay for proessionals including packing if you can

londonrach · 13/07/2018 06:34

Also op if you do it yourself check you dont get fined if you miss the deadline to move out. You will be alot later than you think..and need another van. Everyone you can get a 2 seat sofa in an estate car..believe me!!! Weve done it twice

divadee · 13/07/2018 06:35

I moved at 4 months pregnant. It was really not fun and we had movers and packers. We only moved less than a mile! To have it packed didn't actually cost that much more than just the moving.

I think you need to stump up the money for movers.

AJPTaylor · 13/07/2018 06:40

i have to say this.
we endee up moving ourselves once.literally the 2 of us. a van and us. we moved about half a mile. 2 kids 3 bed house. i thought i was going to die. never ever again.
moved last year from 4 bed house to similar size. i finished work a month before and threw out so much stuff you would not belive it. moved 120 miles. our removals bill was 1700. that was a massive lorry, a luton box van for garden and garage stuff. they came and loaded the day before and stored overnight. we cleaned and then drove to new town and stayed in a five star hotel overnight. leisurely breakfast. got the keys at 11.15. removers arrived at 11.30. left at 3..00 with beds done and everything in its place.
best 1700 i have ever spent

AnnaT45 · 13/07/2018 08:01

Don't do it yourselves. Trying to pack whilst pregnant with a three year old is a challenge in itself!

I was 36 weeks pregnant with a one year old when we moved and we paid for packing and moving service. The packing but wasn't much more.

Genuinely best money I've ever spent and in the scheme of what you spend moving it's a drop in the ocean.

Fight your corner - it will be so much more e enjoyable

RestingBitchFaced · 13/07/2018 08:08

I've always moved myself, and have moved quite a few times. Once while pregnant with a broken ankle BUT I have always given myself at least a week where I have the keys to both houses. I take all the non-essentials first, then take all the big things In a day or two, then return to clean the empty house once it's all out.
Also you will need to start a massive clear out of everything, and possibly a few runs to the tip, so your only moving what you need, and the rest has been sorted out beforehand. It is possible, but will take a lot of organising. I'm not sure you would do it in two days to be honest

Katedotness1963 · 13/07/2018 08:40

We're in the middle of a move right now. Get the help!!

NotAnotherUserName5 · 13/07/2018 08:44

Don’t do it without a removal firm. It’ll be actual hell.
We have been through the process of moving twice now whilst I’ve been heavily pregnant or with a newborn. Once without a removal firm, which nearly finshed me off, the second time we hired an amazing removals company, and it was well worth it.
It’s amazing how much stuff you actually have, and you never realise quite how much until you move.
Good luck!

Original poster
havingiraffe · 13/07/2018 08:51

Thanks everyone. Had a good chat with hubbie and we went through the house looking at everything we had acquired since our last move, which was pretty much everything! I looked into the costs for storage, vans, fuel and even accounting for friends helping for free it doesn't make much sense financially. Then the risk of something going wrong and how much more that could cost you and he was on board.

We are going to start sorting, packing and moving boxes this weekend as a final test but after showing him how much packing materials (boxes, bubble wrap etc) cost and pointing out I'll be able to help very little and probably will just head off to my parents with our DD we might even go for full packing service....he went off to work this morning mumbling something about requesting some overtime so I take that as a good sign!

OP posts:
Gabilan · 13/07/2018 08:52

We have moved six times in seven years, each time whilst being heavily pregnant or with little children. One of the moves was cross country. We've never paid anyone - we've hired a van and done it with the help of my dad and brothers

If you're moving that frequently, chances are you've had less time to accumulate stuff. Plus, having a dad and brothers you can rely on is different. I quite often move with man and van, plus the help of my brother. Last time I moved it was friend of a friend with a horsebox, plus my brother and that was from a studio flat. I'm continually amazed by how much crap I actually have.

The OP's situation is different. Her husband isn't being realistic and they have to move 5hrs away with a narrow deadline. I think 1300 will be money well spent. I'm moving again soon but I've spent the last 6 months gradually clearing as much stuff as I can and packing things up. In this heat though it isn't funny.

BiddyPop · 13/07/2018 08:58

The concept sounds ok if you are prepared for very hard work.

But....a toddler....running around causing havoc and neeedong attention

....5 months of so NO LIFTING HEAVY BOXES quite apart from potential to overdo it on more limited energy....

No - movers worth any amount of money in that case. Especially if going 5 hours away - who will drive the car)s) and toddler? Does dh wxpect you to drive a van?

DaffodilLover · 13/07/2018 08:58

I'm scottish borders! Where are you moving to?
Good luck with your move - hope it turns out stress free!

Bluelady · 13/07/2018 09:05

Good for you, OP, I'm so pleased he's seen sense. Get the packing service as well, it's peanuts in the great scheme of things and will make it all so much easier. Good luck with the move.

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/07/2018 09:23

Good for you. it sounds as if your dh has been in total denial.

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/07/2018 09:24

Oh yes, deffo pay for the pack. I’ve been saying that all along. You will also need the unpack service with a child and pregnant tbh.

Doingreat · 13/07/2018 09:33

Reading this thread is enough to induce a panic attack in me. Although it's made me laugh so much over other people's horror stories.

We moved ourselves 3 yrs ago. No furniture or white goods as we were in a rented furnished flat. The amount of crap is never ending. And we only moved from a one bed to a 2 bed about 5 minutes away. The pp who said that you have at least 100 times more than you think you possess is absolutely right.

I hate moving.

I'm so glad your husband has seen sense.
Good luck with the move, the pregnancy and the new house!

BiddyPop · 13/07/2018 09:52

Glad he’s realized what it actually means this time round.

Good luck!

RockNRollNerd · 13/07/2018 10:50

Glad to see the update. Honestly pay for the packing, in the context of the vast amounts of cash you fork out when moving house the few hundred on packing is up there in the best bit you spend! Packing looks easy because you start with the nice square things like books/DVDs - after an hour or so they're all done and you'll find your house is still completely full and you're now looking at how to pack (safely!) randomly shaped and fragile things.

Spend the time decluttering instead and then the day before you move relax and marvel as a team of packing ninjas come in and box your entire life up in about 4 hours. Be warned though they pack everything - we get some flourescent post it notes to stick on things that mustn't be packed like kettle, mugs, handbag, boxfile of every thing important you need for moving etc.

Bluntness100 · 13/07/2018 12:33

Ah he might be muttering now, but he will be glad of it when the time comes...😁

Atthebottomofthesea · 13/07/2018 13:19

I agree with a pp about the number of boxes. We have a huge pile of boxes waiting to go back plus some still to unpack. This does not include all the extra boxes from the shed, loft, garage. I've passed on a bin bag of bubble wrap and a huge pile of wrapping paper.

Thankfully it was all included in the cost.

Bluelady · 13/07/2018 13:29

Put everything you don't want packed in the car before they start, if it doesn't move they pack it!

Toddleoo · 13/07/2018 13:49

I've done some really heavy lifting type jobs, am good at packing and moved myself when younger twice and I wouldn't even consider it now so glad you made DH see sense.

There are tonnes of things worth skimping on or doing yourself - moving is absolutely not one of them.

NoIsACompleteAnswerSometimes · 13/07/2018 13:58

bluntness yes honestly, we've moved washing machines, fridge freezers, wardrobes and beds in our car! It's a Mondeo, seats down and there's lots of room.
In fact we helped some friends last weekend move from one town to another, about 5 miles. She didn't think we'd get a fridge freezer and washing machine in the car but we did, plus boxes and bags stashed round. I think the time we had the Transit was when we moved our big settee but the last move we left it behind, with the new owners consent obviously.
Our last move, we had an overlap so for two days I moved most of the boxes with help from my nephew and in the Saturday the big stuff got moved, again with my nephew and his estate car as well.