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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think moving ourselves is a crazy idea.

231 replies

havingiraffe · 12/07/2018 12:20

Planned move date is around middle of August. Haven't started any packing or even decluttering yet. We currently live in a large 3 bed with garage and massive loft full of stuff moving to similar sized 4 bed. We don't have much furniture, no wardrobes for example. Most of our furniture we do have is cheap IKEA crap but we do have a couple heavy oak living room furniture items and massive corner sofa. I feel like we do have a lot of stuff though as we both have hobbies that come with lots of kit and we also have a 3 year old....oh and I will be 5 months pregnant at the time of the move. It about a 5 hour drive to our new house (moving from Midlands to Borders Scotland) so looking at a 2 day moving plan.

My husband is baulking at the quotes coming in for a removal company. Cheapest has been £1300 and that's us doing all the packing and breaking down beds etc. His plan is hire a couple of sprinter type vans and move ourselves with the help of a couple mates. We moved ourselves 8 years ago from a 1 bed unfurnished flat to here but I think he has massively underestimated the amount of stuff we have accumulated since then. He also thinks if we can't fit the furniture in we can just dump it as it's not worth the cost of moving it.

I don't disagree that this will be cheaper (although if we have to replace most of our furniture with new it won't save us money but we get new furniture iyswim) but I think it is completely impractical, friends can be unreliable and it's a big ask, having a little one and getting anything done is difficult (and she won't be in childcare at that time) and I'm going to be having kittens about getting everything packed and loaded within the timeframes. My husband doesn't have the best time management skills, I can just see us up all night the day before the move and then on the day frantically trying to stuff things into a van with the buyer waiting for key handover!!

Just need a reality check am I right in thinking this is just not possible!!!

How do I persuade my husband?

OP posts:
PrettyLovely · 12/07/2018 12:52

We moved ourselves from a 3 bed a long way from our old area. We had alot of stuff, I dont understand why anyone who is able bodied and has a friend or family member to help would spend so much money on movers.

Sittingonaspindryer · 12/07/2018 12:54

Your husband is crazy. We did it his way for our last move over a BH weekend and only moving about 1/2 mile. It was awful and I wasn't pregnant and still refused to move anything heavy. His position was 'its what friends do'. Except that one friend ended up with back problems for months afterwards and the other was on the cusp of tipping from pre-clinical into overt disease with a chronic health issue and has never been the same since.

Pay for movers. Even my DH agreed he got it wrong. He massively underestimated the size of the job and how hard it would be because we had always done it ourselves when younger and fitter with much less stuff.

gekiort · 12/07/2018 12:56

We did it. 400 miles. We rented a van that we were able to drop off at the other end. I drove the van and DH drove our car and towed the horses. We also packed up 2 dogs and 2 kittens. Kids were old enough to be helpful rather than the hindrance I expect a 3 yo would be. This was before mobile phones were commonplace and we literally had to stick together all the way down the M6 so we could check at every service station if one was indicating the other would go in. It was easy when I needed a stop as DH was behind but I had to look for his indicators each time just in case!

It wasn't even that bad and we fair enjoyed the adventure but I would advise anyone who is likely to be stressed by such a move to pay the removal form!

LadyGrey66 · 12/07/2018 12:56

We moved recently from south west England to Northern Ireland ourselves. We hired a Luton box van, got two ‘man with a van’ people for £125 for two hours to help load it, then hired two people to help unload it into storage at the other end (£100). The van was about £350 for three day’s hire. I think anyone with a standard license can drive up to this size, so I imagine a sprinter would be fine. We’d dismantled most of the furniture/packed everything so it was ready to be loaded when they arrived, apart from heavy stuff like wardrobes and beds which they brought downstairs. If you can afford it movers would be much less stressful, but it’s definitely achievable to do it yourself with some outside help for the heavy lifting. This was a three bed house with a full loft and loads of garden stuff.

nervousnails · 12/07/2018 12:56

Please please please get movers if you can afford to. Moving is stressful as it is, and the added stress of packing is not worth it.

Possumfish · 12/07/2018 12:58

We moved from a small three bed and I thought I didn't have much stuff
4 trips in a Luton van later....you won't manage in a sprinter. Pay for the professionals

MerlinsScarf · 12/07/2018 12:58

Agree with pps, movers have the right tools for the job and they lift heavy boxes like it's nothing. There will be plenty of work to do when you start unpacking too, so it's worth conserving energy.

SassitudeandSparkle · 12/07/2018 12:59

Pay for the movers. I wouldn't recommend doing any removal yourself even if it was 5 mins rounds the corner tbh, but I certainly wouldn't even consider 5 hours worth. You'll need multiple van trips which won't be possible in the time.

Show him this thread if you have to, BUT PAY FOR PROFESSIONAL MOVERS!!

InfiniteVariety · 12/07/2018 12:59

Tell him he is insane and to stop being so tight! Of course you should have movers - moving is always massively stressful anyway and it's a lot to ask of friends who may let you down at the last moment.

WheelyCote · 12/07/2018 12:59

Get movers.

I did this.....badddddd idea. The move took a week. Got movers to take the heavy stuff....and did the rest.

Never ever ever again.....think I went a bit mad that week😂

Ploppymoodypants · 12/07/2018 13:00

Are you buying or renting? If buying remember that once you complete on moving day, legally all your stuff has to be out and the new owners are likely to want to move in that day. Also this won’t happen over a weekend as solicitors will be closed. So essentially you need enough truck space to fit all your belongings into.

Carboholic · 12/07/2018 13:01

Where exactly is he planning to "dump" a heavy sofa on short notice?

I agree he is crazy. When you rent all the stuff, buy the boxes and the packing material, and pay beers and pizzas for the mates who will help you, you'll be at over half the price of the movers. Then you need to add your work and stress about it. NOT WORTH IT.

user1484830599 · 12/07/2018 13:01

Gosh O/P that seems a real big ask.

We moved ourselves BUT it was only a mile and we didn't have much stuff as I had ruthlessly decluttered. It was really stressful and it still upset me to think about it, it was awful. Please think again!

By the time you've paid for 2 lots of vanhire, fuel etc that could be best enough £1300 anyway!

LadyGrey66 · 12/07/2018 13:02

Also I would second that two Sprinters are unlikely to give you enough space. The Luton we had was absolutely stuffed, no way would a sprinter (or two) have been big enough.

thecatsthecats · 12/07/2018 13:02

What's especially bonkers is that when you've unloaded the final van, you still have to arse around doing the return trip to drop your friends back home!

At the very, VERY most I would compromise by taking only the big stuff up in the van, but by the time you're doing that they might as well take everything.

That sort of move only works across town.

tabulahrasa · 12/07/2018 13:03

I’ve moved by doing it ourselves and helped other people do it because we’ve got a transit van...

Moving a 2 bedroom flat out takes at least two trips, more if couches and things are awkward.

There’s no way you’ll fit a 3 bed house in 2 vans... not unless you’re leaving all your furniture.

suzy2b · 12/07/2018 13:05

I moved from 4bed house to small 3bed house just myself and son took 3 trips in luton van and the other people where moving in as i was moving out, the only time i have had movers is when i moved back to england from aboad

welshmist · 12/07/2018 13:06

We moved twice, sold our house nothing to buy so rented so moved twice in two months. Of course a week after we moved a house we wanted came up. OH had the vapours from stressing out (the skies falling in) so muggins had to take charge and keep him on an even keel.

GU24Mum · 12/07/2018 13:06

Don't do it!! I nearly overruled my OH when we moved and I'm so pleased I didn't. You may be able to cut the cost if you are going to dump furniture but that's a slightly different point as the movers will charge for the number/size of vans.

ElementalHalfLife · 12/07/2018 13:07

We did it ourselves in a move of 700 miles and then 18 months later back again (don't ask) - however the first move DH was like yours, he had 2 friends help us load the truck which DH drove with a trailer for his motorcycle and one of them to drive our second vehicle while I drove my car with our two cats.

The loading up alone took bloody hours longer than we thought and we didn't get on the road until late afternoon facing a 300+ mile drive to our hotel at roughly half way. Our friends were lovely, willing and able but they didn't know what they were doing and things got damaged and tempers got frayed and we still had to pay them for the days off work and a flight back for the one guy from where we moved to. We honestly didn't save much at all. Plus we'd had everything that could be boxed and packed done weeks before, you need to start boxing up now if not sooner!

Coming back DH bit the bullet (I may have threatened to divorce murder him) and we hired two men at an extortionate hourly rate from the truck rental company to help us load leaving and two more at the other end to unload but it was so worth it. They were brilliant, had a professional system and it was done both ends in a couple of hours. You've got kids and are pregnant, tell DH you need pro movers, not negotiable and you'll think of other ways to save money.

EatTheChocolateTeapot · 12/07/2018 13:07

I have moved while pregnant and with a 2 years old not in childcare, just DH and I doing it and to another country. We didn’t have much furniture though, just a big bed and moving from a 1 bed flat.
How much overlaping time do you have between the 2 properties? This would be key IMO, as well as a good decluttering and taking furniture apart well in advance.
You will need to make sure you don’t carry heavy things and don’t walk or tire yourself too much,

OiWhoTookTheGoodNames · 12/07/2018 13:07

Seriously - PAY SOME ONE ELSE TO DO THIS!

We've self-moved a couple of times - it almost broke us and the second time, when DH came down with man flu in the middle of it so I had to do 90% of it myself it almost broke him in very painful places when my sympathy ran out

I have vowed that the only way you're moving me out of our current house is either in a wooden box or paying for a removal service to do it all.

Bluelady · 12/07/2018 13:07

He's completely bonkers. My son's just moved and used a removal company. He said he'd never ever do it himself again after it nearly broke him and two of this mates the previous time. It took a van and three guys to move him and they were utterly brilliant. £1300 sounds very reasonable for a move of that size and distance.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 12/07/2018 13:08

We've only moved once - we did it ourselves.

It was HELL.

If we ever move again I will insist on professionals. As others have pointed out, you have no idea how much shite many possessions you have until you come to box them up. It is more than you ever imagine even in your wildest nightmares. We hadn't been in the previous house long, and didn't have much (or so we thought) - we were wrong. I dread to think how our crap has multiplied in the intervening 30 years.

Also, if anything gets broken, their insurance covers it and you don't have to worry about faffing about claiming on yours.

It might sound like you're throwing money down the drain, but trust me - you aren't. They are worth every penny.

WorldWideWanderer · 12/07/2018 13:08

Yes, this is crazy. If you both aren't trained removal people you will have problems shifting large pieces of furniture and presumably you have little idea how many boxes you'll need, or about packing them, nor about the time it takes to wrap and pack things (eg. kitchenware, glasses, ornaments, cupboard contents....) That's even before you've started on the loft...

I have moved about 10 times in my whole (long) lifetime and have a fair idea about what this entails for my own household. I am also preparing a retirement move next year and I have already started getting rid of stuff, putting unused books into boxes and so forth. That's for a year away....
Your DH really has no idea of the reality at all......