To think moving ourselves is a crazy idea.

[havingiraffe]

Planned move date is around middle of August. Haven't started any packing or even decluttering yet. We currently live in a large 3 bed with garage and massive loft full of stuff moving to similar sized 4 bed. We don't have much furniture, no wardrobes for example. Most of our furniture we do have is cheap IKEA crap but we do have a couple heavy oak living room furniture items and massive corner sofa. I feel like we do have a lot of stuff though as we both have hobbies that come with lots of kit and we also have a 3 year old....oh and I will be 5 months pregnant at the time of the move. It about a 5 hour drive to our new house (moving from Midlands to Borders Scotland) so looking at a 2 day moving plan.

My husband is baulking at the quotes coming in for a removal company. Cheapest has been £1300 and that's us doing all the packing and breaking down beds etc. His plan is hire a couple of sprinter type vans and move ourselves with the help of a couple mates. We moved ourselves 8 years ago from a 1 bed unfurnished flat to here but I think he has massively underestimated the amount of stuff we have accumulated since then. He also thinks if we can't fit the furniture in we can just dump it as it's not worth the cost of moving it.

I don't disagree that this will be cheaper (although if we have to replace most of our furniture with new it won't save us money but we get new furniture iyswim) but I think it is completely impractical, friends can be unreliable and it's a big ask, having a little one and getting anything done is difficult (and she won't be in childcare at that time) and I'm going to be having kittens about getting everything packed and loaded within the timeframes. My husband doesn't have the best time management skills, I can just see us up all night the day before the move and then on the day frantically trying to stuff things into a van with the buyer waiting for key handover!!

Just need a reality check am I right in thinking this is just not possible!!!

How do I persuade my husband?

I would sell a kidney if I needed to, movers are essential when you are pregnant or have small children. I struggled doing a one bed flat when I was pregnant.

It can be done. DH and I moved the contents of our 3/bed, 2 bath house including the fridge, washer, dryer + the contents of our garage and three vehicles, with absolutely NO help, not even friends. It took a weekend and three 380 mile round trips to do it. We couldn't afford to use moving men.

Just reading this is making me stressed. I would never, ever, ever move without professional help again.

Moved out of a two bed flat over 20 years ago with the help of my cousin and a rented 7t. van. Only about ten miles and a couple of journeys. ``it was the most stressful thing I have ever done.

This time (moving out of a two bed, loft,garage house) we will move stuff into storage gradually (we both have "lots of expensive equipment" hobbies and lots of books), but furniture and house-hold stuff will be dis-assembled, packed and moved by professionals. And now I need a calming cuppa just to recover from thinking about it.

Sell the furniture and buy new when You get there ? IKEA never travels well anyway its all chipboard and bolts

I'm another voting for the professionals. We'd always done it ourselves when we were young, but last move was after 20 years in one place. I put my foot down and told DH that I wasn't prepared not to use the professionals and that I wanted a quote for them to pack too. We paid £1100 in 2016 for them to pack up and move a 2 bed flat (including all our books and DH's vinyl collection) 1 mile (£300 of the quote was packing). DH now admits that I was absolutely right and that he'd never contemplate doing it ourselves again. Everything was insured, they packed really quickly and well (young lad packing said that it was much easier for him because he had no sentimental attachment to any of our possessions - all he cared about was getting them safely from A to B) and made life SO much more bearable. It also meant that they supplied all the boxes and packing materials so they were all modular which in turn meant that things fitted much more easily into the lorry. Worth every penny! (There was a big difference in our quotes though.) My only other piece of advice would be to go for a company that will give you a fixed quote, not a company giving you an estimate and a cost per hour.

Yes, bonkers. You have no idea of how much stuff you have.

I've cleared both my mothers house and aunt's flat. Neither were cluttered with knick knacks, my aunt's was positively minimalist. Neither had children's rooms, stuff in garages or lofts.

Each took weeks, weeks to clear. Don't even think about it. It's madness.

OP, have you tried Shiply

OP, just to give you a slightly different perspective from all the hysterical 'it was the worst day of my life' naysayers (though I still don't think you should do it).

The last time we moved the removal men we had booked just didn't turn up. On the day we were due to leave our rented flat we were just stranded, an hour from where we were going to move to surrounded by boxes. So don't assume throwing money at the problem necessarily solves it.

We are moving ourselves this time (whenever our sellers pull their fingers out of their arses) and I am also pregnant. However, this comes with the following disclaimers:

1. We are moving from a 1 bed flat to a 2 bed house
2. It is literally around the corner. Like, we could see it from our current flat if only our house was a smidgen taller.
3. We are going to book a van.
4. We have no white goods to move as we are currently renters.
5. We have friends who can help.
6. We are not in a chain for this house purchase.
7. We have always packed our own stuff anyway and know this takes at least a day.

Three years ago we moved approximately 2 miles, from a 3 bed house. We had an 18 month old son and I was about 4 months pregnant.

We paid the movers to pack the house and move us. It was some of the best money we spent, and we would do it again in a heartbeat. We could live in the house normally right up until two days before the move, didn't pack a thing, just made sure it was basically tidy. The movers showed up the day before and packed everything, and loaded the majority onto a van which they kept (insured and properly packed) at their locked facility overnight - they would have left the beds up but we were going to stay at my parent's that night, so had already packed overnight bags. The day of the move they showed up, packed the rest of the stuff, we went round and vacuumed/wiped surfaces down. Then headed to the new house where they put everything in the rooms we asked, and moved some of it around again when we changed our mind about a set of shelves or two.

So so so worth the money, removed such a huge amount of stress from the move.

Just to add, our next move - hopefully very soon - will be around 200 miles away. Not only will we be paying for professional packing and removal, but we're booking two nights in a Travel Lodge at the other end so we can retreat from the mess.

If I were you, OP, I'd just book the removal company and tell him to suck it up.

And this was with my brother who took large pieces of furniture with his van.

What you can do is be ruthless and throw out/donate clothes, toys, books/furniture that you don't want to take with you. But be ruthless.

Sure, their time is worth something, but if you need to save money you need to save money. Sometimes it's all about cold hard cash.

I wouldn't be keen myself, having helped move two sets of friends, the stress and effort of it is a friggen nightmare. People always underestimate it. But it is doable. Not recommended but doable. Couple in the return journey time on this one and it makes it even harder.

As said, hiring a storage unit close to the new house, and moving out thr weekend before completion makes life a bit easier, it removes the time pressure element.

We have friends who did this recently. Most of their big stuff and the boxes were all in storage next to thr new house two to three weeks before hand, it basically meant they moved at their leisure before and after. The day was still stressful as they moved three hours and the people moving out of their new house were a bit of a disorganised mess, but it did take a lot of pressure off them.

Bookshelves, big mirrors, table and chairs, bed frames, books, excess crockery, cutlery, cookware, glasses, bed linen, garden stuff, loft stuff, it can all be moved in advance.

I've moved 7 times. And always done ourselves!.. Now looking like will have to move again now we have another baby for space And will do our self's then too.
That last time it was just me, dp and my dad did it.. From a 1st ff. To a 2ff.no lift!
It was a killer but quotes were coming in at £1500 and is sooner struggle ourself and then have the cash for new carpets.

Moved 15 times....mostly self moves with (un) willing friends... Mostly across town with little furniture. Was younger and fitter... Still bloody exhausting... And when I helped a pal move one friendship didn't survive another pal dropping expensive ornaments/lamp through a flimsy box... Felt relly sorry for the volunteer mover... He'd only shown up to help van load...

Also pals are more likely to let you down.. Esp when they're giving up 2 days of their time and substantial time to travel back... And the risk to their health....

Last two times with removal company... More furniture and more stuff... Just wasn't worth the hassle and the sheer stress.

One was 5 hours drive, the last move was 90 mins away.... We also had packing (of all our fuck ton of stuff) as my health was poor and I could do little...cost 1600£

We costed it ourselves... With self hire and paying folk to help...

Never move with shitty supermarket boxes... They don't stack well and break... I never did like those mugs!

Proper removal boxes cost a fortune... For our stuff; 75 full boxes and 30 book boxes and all the packing tape/tissue paper and bubble wrap... 300£...!!.
Then there's insurance.... Removal companies are insured... You're unlikely to be and you'll need to extend /buy insurance... Also will it be covered when it is left full overnight.??

Then there's the van deposit.... And the hire and the extras you'll need. And the risk of losing your deposit if you have a prang...

Look at worse case scenario... You're too unwell to help with a scratchy toddler... Your husbands reliable friends... One has disappeared on cheapie holiday and the other has gone down with food poisoning?? You're stuck with a half packed house you need to leave and no help... And you're miles from where you need to be...

1300?? I'd bite their hand off.!
Whoever was moved for 550...wow!

Both times I used removers I got 5 quotes for each job.... They were all pretty similar.. Within a 200... We went with the bigger company who had better infastructure and who would guarantee the day and van/removal people to be there to move us

Moving house is a nightmare. Anything which can reduce the stress is worth gold.

IF you can possibly afford it go for a reputable firm who will roll up and PACK for you too. Honestly, it doesn't add as much to the price as you would think, and the stress it avoids is amazing.

Last time we moved we tried to cut corners and went for a cheaper firm and did all the packing, and it was so unbelievably stressful thinking back on it 5 years later still makes me feel ill. Never again.

Also - getting friends to do it is a huge ask - it is fine when you are young and don't have much stuff, but not when you have an established and fully furnished home. And even if you decide to get rid of furniture you will still have to move it - it's not like you can just leave it in the front garden...

also forgot to add we are selling in england and buying in scotland (which is whole other legal hassle) so there is no overlap/margin for error unless we go with using self-storage at one end but that will definitely not be cheaper.

So you're in a chain right? You're expected to move out on the same day the new owners of your old house move in?

In that case, get a professional removal company in. Don't be dicks. Because that's what the sellers who think they can do the move with a van and some mates are, when it's 9 pm and the buyers are still waiting outside for the sellers to clear the fuck out.

PS: One room worth of stuff filled a transit van when I moved back home after finishing university, and I still had to leave some things behind.

I'm doing a similar move, 4 bed detached to similar but slightly smaller around five hours away. 2,300 was the cheapest quote, that includes 2 day move and all the packing. Having moved myself years ago, I think it's worth every damn penny and I'm well past pregnancy age!
I strongly suspect your DH has underestimated time, energy, stress levels etc. For heaven's sake, pay someone, in the great big scheme of house sales it isn't a huge amount and is worth it for the peace of mind.

We've done it three times, including one trip in a ferry, and I've sworn never again.

A big thing to factor in re: the cost is if you rent, you have to return the van to the original location, or the cost almost doubles. When we were moving 4 1/2 hours away, what we did was: DH drove van down from new home town (he had already started working there) on the Friday.

We'd done packing of various big things the previous weekend, spending two whole days. Still weren't finished, so finished Friday/stupidly early Saturday morning. Hired man with van/without van to help with lifting - I would hugely recommend this. If you call various local men-with-vans they'll usually be able to recommend someone they use.

We spent 4 or 5 hours Saturday morning just moving stuff out - I was only bringing light things, eg bags of clothes. At lunchtime, we drove up, and hired local person to help unpack.

This was without kids, and moving from somewhere partially furnished. It cost about 500-600£ and we filled basically the biggest van you can rent without needing a special licence. It was quite an unpleasant drive as a) motorway and b) no rear mirrors.

I will never do it again. I don't think we could. At the time, I couldn't believe how much stuff we had, and now I know we have almost double. Get him to pack up everything you're not using this weekend, and see what its like - I think it will be a wakeup call.

1300 quid?. Just do it!

Your DH is insane. We moved a relatively short distance from a one bedroom flat to a house when DD was 5 months old, and went down the mate-with-a-van route. It was hellish and we had relatively little stuff to move. Moving a whole houseful yourself, particularly with the distances involved, would be much, much worse.

I have moved myself 3 times, but never that far. The first time was a 40 min drive, and that was from a bedsit to a house (not much stuff); the second time was an hour drive, house to house - more stuff but more people as well. Last time was a 15 minute drive and required friends to be helpful and reliable - both of which they were - also house to house.

For a 5h journey, I would pay people to do it, I really would. It's too far to be getting mates to help out, IMO.

This is one room's worth.

@havingiraffe, I'm all for compromise and conversation in a marriage but in this instance, just book the movers. Seriously. You're going to run yourself ragged with this and there are 140-odd posts here telling him that.

Show him this, tell him this is an essential spend, and then just do it.

Asking mates to help in this kind of pressurised situation just isn't on and you're going to have a toddler to stop falling into a packing case so won't be able to help - never mind the pregnancy.

Moving is so stressful - £1300 to make it infinitely easier would be cheap at double the price.

You're mad!

Pay for removal people. Even if you have to live on toast for the rest of the month.

But clear out and Declutter as much as possible now. No point in paying them to transport stuff that you end up chucking out when you get to New place.

We have always paid removals to pack for us, and unpacked ourselves. Unpacking alone wore me out!