To say she can’t become a vegan yet

[funnyfairy360]

So my 10yr old DD has announced that she does not believe it is Ok to use animal products any more and from now on will not be eating/wearing/using anything made from animals or produced by animals. She does not even want to be ‘forced’ to sit on our leather couch. Now don’t get me wrong I’m all for her finding her own way in life but this is not just becoming vegetarian or going goth, becoming vegan is life changing and to be honest too inconvenient and expensive for me to make happen for her right now. She said she has the right to choose I say yes when she can pay for the products and cook the food herself .....she wants vegan friendly washing up liquid/shampoo/ soap/ clothes/this list could go on and on. None of the rest of us have any desire to go vegan.

I would ask her to do the research and give you a list of meals for the family for the week, costed and with the nutritional information checked. Same with any other products she wants changed. Then you can either show her that actually, you can't afford it, or you can agree which changes are reasonable for you to make.

What a lovely compassionate DD, you should be proud. Let her become a vegan, make the effort go help her. Don't worry about protein, Quorn do some gorgeous products.

It's not expensive or hard to respect your daughter's needs. Just do your research together. It might even bring you closer

Just a heads up that a lot of pre/teen-age girls use veganism/restricted diets to hide an eating disorder. She'll be starting periods soon if not already, so needs lots of heme-iron which is only found in meat, and calcium for her growing bones. She needs it now, not make it up later in life, otherwise she'll be prone to osteoporosis at a youngish age. Also needs a whole host of other nutrients like K2, B12, retinol - true vitamin A, not beta-carotene that a lot of people can't convert efficiently, DHA for brain development... probably so many other nutrients that we're only beginning to scratch the surface of understanding... and in the right ratios. When she can understand human nutrition and the full health implications of her choices then she can.

Cook vegan food and point out that your house, your rules you will not be changing the brands of any household cleaners etc as she is the vegan, not you.
I say this a woman who lives with a very understanding vegetarian, because that’s his only option.

I wouldn't let a 10-year-old to become a vegan.

KimCheesePickle ridiculous fear mongering really isn't going to help the op

perper we need someone like you to do an AMA!

Why can she not be a vegetarian instead?

I've told my DD 9, that she can become Vegan when she's older.

She's a vegetarian at the moment, but I really struggle finding protein alternatives for her and worry about her bones and future osteoporosis.
I'm sure that lots of Vegans manage to bring up vegan children without incurring osteoporosis, but the rest of us eat meat and I'm not very confident.

kimcheese raises a good point - as a person who developed an eating disorder as a teen, it did start out as a forensic interest in nutrition and wanting to eat different food.

It is our job to teach moderation to our kids - you say she’s obsessed with animal welfare? It may be time to broaden that interest out where possible.

Perhaps also time for her to look at volunteering at a local shelter (is here an age limit?) so that what she puts in her body isn’t the sole focus?

To be honest given the environmental state of the planet Veganism will transition from a fad to a necessity

And it’s not expensive ! Au contraire

I would support her as far as you can but ask her a bit more abiut why she wants this . If she following a trend . I would be interested actuallly in a 10 year old

Also what’s to be lost by joining her a few days a week

Unless you eat organically sources local products what you consume will be pumped with chemicals and antibiotics . Why not try a few days a week ?

All of Superdrug own make products are not tested on animals ,and mainly vegan ,look out for honey in shampoo...Tesco and Sainsbuys don't test on their own make products either so you could actually save some money by switching to own make household products..she could cook for everyone once a week to give you a break,in return for you having a look for some changes you could make to the family meals so she could be vegan....it's honestly not difficult,and not expensive either

I think that’s a good post from KimCheese

I do not believe that a vegan diet is heathier (due to amount of supplements and processed foods necessary to maintain a balanced nutritionally complete diet for our gut and tooth design), though do think that more plant based foods is a good thing.

Agree with your DD that what is in the house already will be used rather than discarded. Then go for a healthy plant based diet for most of you with added animal protein for those who crave the texture and a vegan alternative for her. It will be surprisingly easy, honestly. For example, switch from butter to a vegetable oil spread; for the first week you will notice but after that it is fine and in fact the next time you have butter it will taste weird and rancid.

easy compromises:
1.Thai green curry with green beans, onions and peppers in is lovely: add a handful of cashews for her and then once her portion has been removed add some finely sliced chicken: it will only take 2 mins to cook through and you can still all eat together.

1. curry night: pilau rice with oil instead of ghee,, tarka dhal, aloo gobi, bhindi bhaji, a salad of chopped tomatoes and fresh coriander plus one meaty dish.
2. pasta pomodoro or arrabiata, crusty bread with good olive oil and balsamic, green salad. If the rest of you are craving Bolognese then cook that separately but you can all still sit together to share the accompaniments.
3. pizza: just as good without the cheese for her if necessary (if she misses the cheesiness add a sprinkle of yeast and the rest of you can choose your favourites.
4. mixed bean chilli is as good as meat and can be served in wraps or with rice. Guacamole is vegan, as is salsa/jalapenos. If you need a little dairy to offset the spiciness give her a little pot of soya yogurt.

YANBU to say that current stocks should be used up. YWBU to not make simple substitutions to enable her veganism.

I think if the animal doesn’t suffer consuming/using it is fine

But it's inevitable that the animals will suffer.

Humane slaughter is a myth. Even if they are stunned first it doesn't make it OK - I wouldn't be happy being killed as long as someone gave me an electrical shock first - and the stunning doesn't even work a lot of the time.

For milk, the calves have to be removed from their mothers when they are a few days old. Cows don't naturally produce milk for people to consume. They produce it for their calves so they are always pregnant or have just given birth. They also tend to die much earlier than a normal cow because they are so exhausted by the constant milking and impregnation.

For eggs, there are two types of chickens. Ones that produce lots of meat and ones that produce lots of eggs. The male egg laying chickens are useless to the industry so are killed when they are a few hours old. They are often thrown into a macerator which is like a big grinder. The females don't have much better lives. Even if you get free range that just means that they have access to outside space so you can stick thousands of them in a barn with a tiny outdoor area where they can hardly move and call them free range. They are generally killed after a year as they don't produce as many eggs after the first year.

I'm with your daughter I'm afraid. I don't like the industry so I don't fund it.

On a more practical note, if you want to carry on eating meat there are loads of meals which work as a vegan meal and you can chuck some meat in at the last minute for everyone else. Stir frys, curries, soups etc. I can post some links if this is of any interest?

I wouldn't cater to the whim of a 10 year old. She's too young to make these decisions. I remember the things I thought I knew and that age and it's laughable.
When she's old enough to be making her own decisions about food, toiletries, clothes, etc, then she can be vegan.

As a PP said, don’t worry about protein. No one ever died of a protein deficiency. You only need a small amount.

I have 2 vegan kids. They eat a healthy, balanced, interesting diet and are never sick.

You should be very proud of your DD.

Well i’m glad my mum was more supportive than you when i went veggie over 30 yrs ago op

(No we were not a wealthy middleclass household either)

Animal welfare is a fairly normal thing for 10/11 yos to care about ime and harmless really

A plant based diet is one of the best things you can do for the planet - and no it doesn’t have to be either/or in terms of palm oil and quinoa

Agree that the sofa thing is a bit daft but it’s the zeal of the new convert i guess. The ‘if you respected me’ thing would make me snort, but that’s 10 year olds on their high horse for you.

Yes plant milk is quite expensive but if there’s only her drinking it then it’s not so bad. I would sometimes cook meat for my ex and i can’t believe how expensive it is, it blows my mind! So that offsets it somewhat, when you look at the bigger picture.

jack monroe’s blog has a lot of easy cheap mainly vegan recipes on it, all using store cupboard type stuff or things that go on offer a lot.

I agree that meal planning is a ballache and what not but get her helping and involved, get her making stuff you can freeze in batches, that’ll help loads.

GahWhatever you don't need any supplements or processed foods at all. Whole food vegans are the healthiest people on the planet

I would really try to support this where I could. Take heart, you have a child thinking about these issues. Get your child to read up about it. Could be a fun thing to do together too?

Good for her.

Hey, entirely possible.

If you're cooking from scratch can't you make up a pot on the side with her stuff in but leave out the meat/cheese whatever or give her portion when it's at the "vegan stage" of cooking before adding what everyone else has and serving?

And for takeaways, a lot of places can easily leave out whatever you ask them too (main things being cheese, mayo, seafood) ask for it to be made without.

And as for her wanting vegan toiletries you can get a large basic, all natural formula soap base castile soap online from online such as eBay (Dr.bronner's for example in many different scents) and it can have MULTIPLE uses so, to wash her hands, hair, whatever washing liquid needs and it's entirely plant based and a little squeeze goes a long way, you would need to remind her not to overuse it or she'll be needing a replacement every week, it should last a good almost 2 months.

And as for vegan clothing, to be fair they are hard-wearing and last a long while, you should look at vegans on YouTube, [The channel Durian Rider comes to mind] in their faded gear, to be fair they really over do it but my point is it's long lasting.

And you could get her a wooden straw chair, a little pillow or rug, or blow up chair (just some quick, cheap ideas) if she won't sit on the sofas anymore; all you can do is just try the best you can to support her, if you can't do something then let her know or ask her to find the cheapest most eco way online or wherever of doing it.

colditz

This would be a flat no from me

No to the throw so she doesn't have to touch the leather couch. No the the fake dairy and fake meat. No to the changing of the washing powder and household shampoos

No. Flat NO

The only thing I would accept is what I already accept - eat it or don't, your choice

Wow, just wow. This can't be for real.

Are you also of the opinion that 'Children should be seen but not heard'?

Quinoa popularity has nothing to do with starvation in Bolivia, it was yet another tabloid fodder story 10 years ago that doesn't have a grain of truth in it.
I agree that the use of palm oil is devastating the Rain forest, nothing to do with Veganism though. The dairy spread in my fridge has more palm oil in it than the non-dairy spread I have.

DH and I are meat eaters, one DD is Vegan and other is Vegetarian. Their bodies, their choice.

I think you have raised a fantastic 10 year old there and if she was mine I would support her. My 8 year old is already making comments about plastic and high welfare products but she is still omni. Your dd is already veggie so vegan eating isn't going to be much harder for you to cater and c-f cosmetics are surprisingly easy to come by so with shampoo etc if the whole family use them you aren't losing out and while you may not have any desire to go vegan it's not going to hurt that way, they don't have to be expensive if phased in gradually. As for the sofa as a pp said explain the benefit of using up what has already been purchased, the damage is done and it's much better economically, environmentally and sustainably to use until done.