Dh discussing my bits and boobs

[Stoveding]

At a wedding and there was no food from 1pm start until lots of champagne at 3.

Everyone got pissed pretty fast. I got talking to a man who said he did ‘aesthetics’ so I asked if he meant faces etc. He said no, and somehow alluded he did up fannies. He told me a few stories about clients, some of whom had run off with other men as soon as their fannies were nice again.
Anyway dh butted in and said - I wouldn’t like a woman to have breast enhancement (they both looked at mine and agreed smaller was better), but if she wanted fanny surgery to make herself feel better that was ok.
I took this to mean I should have it, as ive often wanted to since kids. It felt like a green light and the man gave us his card.
Aibu to think this was all a bit i I? I feel ashamed remembering it now.

It was a drunken conversation that you were engaged in. Park it in the fuckit bucket. Ask your DH what he really thinks when sober IF you want to know. I have asked my DH what he would think if I had x and y done. He's very careful. Normally I get "if you want to". I take this to mean he'd like me to get it done but daren't ask.

If my husband felt he could stand around at a wedding and discuss what any part of my anatomy looks like with a stranger I would not be having sex with him ever, ever again. How dare they treat you like an object to be talked about?

Designer vagina

If your vagina was badly damaged by childbirth than you could get it sorted on the NHS? If you just don’t like the look of it (not due to child birth) then it’s up to you if you feel the need to have surgery.

I had surgery straight after having dd2, I was stitched up badly after my first birth and left with scar tissue. I had it fixed up straight after birth 2 by plastic surgeon. I now have no scar tissue and a pretty fanjo

If it bothers you that much then get it sorted but don’t do it just because of something your dh said whilst drunk.

Hells Bells - ok I am older I guess but when on earth did designer vaginas become a thing? Why do women do this stuff themselves - operations are serious shit in my view and you dont volunteer for them unless something is wrong.

OP I don’t know if anyone has linked this yet, but this thread may interest you:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3300881-To-dislike-my-vagina

So two men stand there openly discussing in what ways women should be permitted to surgically alter themselves in order to be more appealing to them? What a delightful couple of pricks.

but if she wanted fanny surgery to make herself feel better that was ok

To which my reply would have been......."what - like men getting penis extension surgery and making everyone happy?"

Variation in labia size and shape is utterly normal. From the barely there to quite large and frilly, it's all normal. And any normal man should just feel privileged and excited that he's been allowed access! I've never heard of a man refusing a woman because of her labia. It's like saying "Oh, you don't have cup holders? I won't take that lift after all, thanks", it's just so irrelevant...

And any normal man should just feel privileged and excited that he's been allowed access!
You wouldn't say that to a woman about a penis, would you? This is totally unrelated to the thread but what's this bizarre narrative where men should just lower all standards and be grateful that they 'get' to have sex with a woman? Privileged? What the fuck do you even mean by that

I always find that odd Taco and it's seen a lot on MN.

Taco i think it’s meant be kind of “empowering”, but it actually is just buying into the whole “sex is just a gift women give to men and women are not sexual beings themselves” narrative.

I don’t blame those who say things like this though as it’s an easy way to feel like you’re giving someone a boost, if you don’t think about it too much. Society pushes the whole “women are the gatekeepers of sex” thing pretty hard do it’s easy to fall into believing this. I’m sure I’ve said similar in the past.

Sorry for going so off-topic, OP.

Taco - to my mind they should think themselves lucky! Men don't have an automatic right to a woman's body - if a woman grants that privilege, he should be appreciative.

Perhaps women should be just as grateful to men who offer to sleep with them, but the fact is that most of us don't.

I think it's just a question of showing some level of respect to someone you've chosen to sleep with. I can't stand it when women slag off the physical attributes of the men they choose to fuck either. We're humans, not just our bodies.

Culturally though women are trained to expect this kind of critique of their bodies and it's much rarer for men to experience it.

SlothSlothSloth - exactly!

Contributes to the whole 'gatekeepers of sex' attitude which is damaging. That sex is a privilege women bestow on men providing they've 'earned' it rather than a mutually consensual and enjoyable experience.

I think it's rarer for men to be critiqued on their bodies but fairly equal when it comes to genitals.

Every MN thread about reasons you dumped a man always have numerous posts about penis size/appearance. Threads about men making unacceptable comments to women always have posts about I bet he's got a tiny cock/tell him his cock's too small.

Sure, and I don't condone it, but the idea of two women casually discussing knob extensions while the husband of one of them is right there? And one of the women is a knob extension salesperson? At a wedding? Don't think so.

knob extension salesperson

I need to see that on a business card...

I don't believe for a second that the person at this wedding actually is any kind of HCP salesperson.

But pissed women talking about unsatisfactory penises/impotence/premature ejaculation and joking about extensions or viagra- I can believe that. I've seen it.

And it was the OP that started the conversation with the fake HCP about womens fannies in front of her DP and her DP then joined in.

*He told me a few stories about clients, some of whom had run off with other men as soon as their fannies were nice again.

I'm really sure that happened. "Some" women contacted him out of the blue to tell him they ran off with other men once they were healed hmm*

Maybe they mentioned it in their TripAdvisor review?

I'm not sure why you perceive this as a competition between which sex is most badly behaved itscominghome.

I see the point about the idea that women don't enjoy sex and therefore 'let' men have sex with them being wrong and even harmful. But surely everyone is allowed to be gatekeeper to his or her own body? If you read the OP, both men looked at her tits and deemed them acceptable together. I'm sure this scenario has ever happened to a man but it barely surprises people when it happens to women. Women's bodies are treated more as public property than men's - so women end up having to be gatekeepers.