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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh discussing my bits and boobs

96 replies

Stoveding · 09/07/2018 09:13

At a wedding and there was no food from 1pm start until lots of champagne at 3.

Everyone got pissed pretty fast. I got talking to a man who said he did ‘aesthetics’ so I asked if he meant faces etc. He said no, and somehow alluded he did up fannies. He told me a few stories about clients, some of whom had run off with other men as soon as their fannies were nice again.
Anyway dh butted in and said - I wouldn’t like a woman to have breast enhancement (they both looked at mine and agreed smaller was better), but if she wanted fanny surgery to make herself feel better that was ok.
I took this to mean I should have it, as ive often wanted to since kids. It felt like a green light and the man gave us his card.
Aibu to think this was all a bit i I? I feel ashamed remembering it now.

OP posts:
LadyRochfordsHoickedGusset · 09/07/2018 09:54

Agree Kitty but I'd be seriously turned off if I realised my partner had a fake dick Grin.

Original poster
Stoveding · 09/07/2018 09:57

Dh will have to pay as I’m a sahm and he would have to be keen to do that

OP posts:
C8H10N4O2 · 09/07/2018 09:57

So your DH and a supposed medical professional were discussing you like a prize cow in a sales pitch, at a social event?

Struggling to see the good spin on that.

Hell would freeze over before I employed a medical professional who behaved in that way. Horrible behaviour from the DH as well

foodtime · 09/07/2018 09:57

I really don’t understand your problem OP. Your husband sounds like he lied to make you feel better about having small breasts. That’s nice of him.
It seems like the “designer vagina” is somthing you would like and your projecting your feelings on him.

Ivorbig1 · 09/07/2018 09:57

Just forget it he sounds like a pervy dumbass..... but if you begin conversations with strangers about “fannies” you can’t really complain if your husband joins the conversation.

Tomatoesrock · 09/07/2018 10:03

He was wrong to discuss it with a stranger, but if you have mentioned it to him, I do not think he wants you to have one. He knew you would like one, a rare opportunity popped up meeting a man who does it. I would not be hard on him, There was drink involved and he was been supporting to you. Obviously in the wrong way and tactless but his intentions seem to be good Confused

ClosdesMouches · 09/07/2018 10:04
Hmm
yearofthewoman · 09/07/2018 10:05

Why would you want to butcher your labia like this? Seriously!

If you have the money, spend it on counselling for yourself, that will have a better effect than chopping bits off yourself to conform to some made up idea of how women should look.

InfiniteVariety · 09/07/2018 10:09

they both looked at mine and agreed smaller was better

I would have walked away at this point. He was a stranger, the whole conversation sounds humiliating and the fact you say everyone was pissed suggests you consider this the only excuse for it.

MargaretCavendish · 09/07/2018 10:11

Your husband sounds like he lied to make you feel better about having small breasts. That’s nice of him.

Where on earth did you get that from?!

Nanny0gg · 09/07/2018 10:15

@yearofthewoman

Absolutely. Unless there is medical need, why on earth do women do this to themselves?

TellsEveryoneRealFacts · 09/07/2018 10:16

Have you thought about getting someone round to discuss a penis extension for him?

If not, why not?

dogzdinner · 09/07/2018 10:21

He told me a few stories about clients, some of whom had run off with other men as soon as their fannies were nice again.

Really? Hmm

Regardless, I think you're crazy to consider it - there must be long term risks of painful sex/ lack of sensation. Not worth it unless they are currently causing you pain.

Chuckle2 · 09/07/2018 10:21

they both looked at mine and agreed smaller was better

You should have asked them to whip out their penises, before agreeing with them wholeheartedly.

^ the best response ever! Grin

NataliaOsipova · 09/07/2018 10:22

Honestly? I wouldn't give too much thought to anything that was said when everyone was addled on booze at a wedding....

Shumpalumpa · 09/07/2018 10:22

So you've gone from being ashamed that two perverts (one of which is your husband) were discussing your breasts and vagina to actively wanting a designer vagina.

What is the point of your AIBU, OP? You sound vacuous.

ReanimatedSGB · 09/07/2018 10:22

I think your H was trying to be nice to you, in a clumsy tipsy fashion, and that this supposed 'doctor' was an absolute prick. And possibly a liar.

Chuckle2 · 09/07/2018 10:24

so he wants you to leave your boobs but if you want to have vagina surgery then that's ok?
At first I thought Hmm but now you've updated saying that you'd actually like to have the procedure done, surely your husband was just supporting you knowing that you were thinking of the procedure?
It would've been worse had he said that all surgery looks bad and that he wouldn't want you to have anything done while knowing that you actually did want the vagina thing done
Had you not updated, I'd have said that your husband was being a dick. But now you've updated, I think you're reading too much into it although it probably was embarrassing!!

Seasawride · 09/07/2018 10:25

Yes well

BadassUnicorn · 09/07/2018 10:28

I would have been offended by the whole conversation, especially the doctor. What an a**hole.

You should have asked if he also does men's bits, you know, since they tend to droop and sag with age.

This A) would have put an end to the conversation and B) if DH got offended by it, then you would know for sure he was objectifying you, and you could go ahead and bite his head off without wondering if you were BU.

RhubarbRhubarbRhubarbRhubarb · 09/07/2018 10:33

I think this would bother me too a bit, as it might have come across to the other guy that your dh wasn’t happy with your current vulva, which is a bit insulting.

I’m sure that’s not at all what he meant and I imagine he was clumsily trying to say he wouldn’t mind if you wanted it. Unlike breast implants which he would mind even if you did want it though? That’s not great either, although again, maybe he was trying to be complimentary about your current breasts 🤷‍♀️. All in all a bit of a weird conversation, which dh and I would both have run a mile from at a wedding tbh. I’d be peeved your dh mentioned it at all.

On a side note, what a weird comment from the other guy, that women all run off with new men once their vulvas look different... I’ve never given how mine looks very much though tbh. I can’t imagine it looking different would spur me on to leave my Dh... but who knows?

henpeckedinchief · 09/07/2018 10:36

Totally inappropriate for him to be discussing your body that way! You aren't a cut of steak for them to dissect!

I don't think it necessarily sounds like he wants you to have a designer vagina - more that if it was something you wanted (which he presumably knows you do?) he wouldn't have an issue with it. But to be honest, it's not really a decision that has anything to do with him since it's your body!

I would be so angry and upset to be talked about this way at a wedding of all places. Unprofessional from the doctor and disrespectful of your husband.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 09/07/2018 10:40

Grems I think you're being very kind there. He was pissed, he possibly meant what he said.

Oddcat · 09/07/2018 10:41

I can't see a medical professional talking like this ! He sounds awful , as does your husband .

How does childbirth change your vagina ? Genuine question as mine seems to be the same .

DeathByGlamour · 09/07/2018 10:44

Me to Oddcat. Mine was ugly before and still is now 😂

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