I'm 99% sure I'm not.

[mumpatrol]

Have 2 DCs with DP both boys and both very much wanted and loved. However I know that DP and both sets of DGPs hoped for a girl when I was pregnant with DS2 (obviously they love both DCs the same and it's not a huge deal but I know they all hoped for a girl) - I wasn't fussed either way.

I found the first few months with DS1 extremely hard and looking back probably had mild undiagnosed PND. DS2 has been a lot different and I've coped a lot better but mainly struggling with sleep as he's still a baby and I'm EBF so all wakings are on me.
Since he was born I've had "are you going to try for a girl next?" From (albeit lovely) MIL who currently has 5DGCs who are all boys and both DGMs asking if they'll get to buy little dresses in the near future and other general remarks about hoping for a DGD.
DP has also asked to have another DC and by the sounds of it also in the hopes of having a girl - I know he will love a boy too but he's often talked about wanting one of each.

I've told him after DC2 that I'm done and happy with 2 DCs. He still often jokes about having another or jokes and talks about having a girl next. I know he'd love another DC as he's expressed if enough.
Also SIL cannot and does not want to have anymore and I know that in MILs eyes it has defaulted me as a last hope to have a DGD which is probably where the comments are coming from.

Realistically I'm happy with 2, I'm glad knowing that after this one I will not have to go through anymore sleep regressions and I'm just thankful for two OK pregnancies and 2 lovely DCs. And I know since I don't want another that should be it and end of the topic as its my body and all that jazz.

Then why do I feel myself questioning my decision and sometimes wanting to just make DP happy and try for another and wondering if I'll regret not doing it down the line?

AIBU to just tell him that I don't want to hear any more allusions about another DC and to tell everyone to stop asking?

bigKyteFlying

For dc1/2 we used those ovulation predictor kits and had sex just as it spiked and had boys as wanted.

For dc5 we wanted a girl so used them again and waited to dtd 24 hours after ovulating and had twin girls.

The kits worked for us but no idea how accurate they really are.

My MIL would love a grand daughter, she currently has 5 grandsons and I'm pregnant with my third boy, her sixth grandson. There's no way I would have even considered having a third if I'd have been disappointed with another boy. Everyone around us seems to be taking the news of another boy badly, we are extremely happy!

Have another baby if you want, not to please anyone else! Esp if you did suffer from PND, make sure you're comfortable with the decision.

I'd like another, but even if I could chose a girl, i'd still leave it up to fate.

Yes ThanksItHasPockets we have 3 DDs and people said exactly that!

Are you a cow? hmm Tell them all to fuck off.

This sums it up very well!

The only question should be whether or not you want another child. Because they don't come to order. Your MIL should know this.....

I used to know someone who had 8 siblings. Her parents kept on going until they had a boy. So 8 girls and 1 boy. Can you imagine being one of those girls knowing you were just an attempt for a boy and not being good enough.

YANBU.

Tell them to adopt a girl if they want one so badly.

You're definitely not being unreasonable ffs. They're not the ones who'd have to be carrying the baby and giving birth too!

Sod's law it'll be another boy, too. What'll be next, DC4?

The ideal in many people's minds does seem to be two children boy and girl.

It does, and for me that would be the least ideal scenario. I would much much rather have either 2 girls or 2 boys than one of each. If we decide to try for a second and end up with one of each I think I'd probably want a third.

Apparently my parents (particularly my dad) was told constantly that they must be hoping for a boy when my mum was pregnant with me. They couldn't believe it that they actually would prefer another girl.

My MIL told me life would be less interesting if I didn't have one of each. We have 2 DD's. I ignore her as she says lots of silly things but do keep my distance a lot more now.

I really hate those sort of comments. We have 2 DD’s.

When dd2 was a baby I had a few random people in supermarkets etc. Ask me about having another baby, and when I said never, happy with 2, they then felt the need to tell me :-

‘I was being unfair to Dh, not trying for a boy’,
‘is he not upset to not have a son ?’,
‘who will he take to football’
‘Your being selfish, a man needs a son’

Dh loves his dd’s, just the same as he would if they were boys. Dd1 and him share the same love of Terry pratchitt novels and holidays which involve rollercoasters (me and dd2 are terrified !) and dd2 plays golf just like him and my dad.

Similar to poster below I've had lots (and fiends with only girls) about how it isn't fair on DH (who declined trying for a third when I was experiencing hormonal endives boy guilt). My sisters BIL has only girls and I remember her looking at him pityingly at a party once when he was playing with her son as he would never experience the magic of a little boy - I was quite

Why don't they give to a girls education charity if they are so keen. Or buy some clothes for charity that girls could wear (that is, clothes). Or give to Women’s Aid.
Or shut the feck up and buy a dolly.
Or adopt a cat or a dog.

Girls and boys are equally magical, sometimes 😂 idiots should be squashed with a ‘did you mean to b so rude’

I have daughters, 2/3 of them don’t wear dresses by choice and none of them wore dresses as babies as it wasn’t practical for rolling/crawling etc. They’re not dolls.

Where does it stop? My mum was the youngest of seven - all girls. Apparently my grandparents were devastated she wasn't a boy. That didn't last long, my gran used to say Mum was the best thing that ever happened to her.

Those sort of people shouldn’t be anywhere near a girl anyway, they’re obviously only interested in dressing her up as a dolly.

If your family don't shut about you 'trying for a girl'...horrid phrase... why not tell them one of their grandsons might actually be a girl.

I know of two 'boys' who are now girls...both very pretty girls it has to be said.

Might shut them up.

YANBU. I know someone who has just had their 5th because they wanted a boy, who knows if they would have tried again if it had been another girl! Tell them that their comments are no longer funny and making you feel uncomfortable.

I don't really understand it. I found out my first baby is a boy 2 weeks ago. I don't want another one (I was a happy only child) and I can't think my life would have been radically different one way or the other. In fact, I would worry more about a girl as a teen/adult.

I am in a similar position boy wise - we have three together plus DSS, no girls at all in DH’s family.

Occasionally we get the ‘are you going to try for a girl’ thing but tbh I just say no now. I don’t elaborate. It’s no one’s business and if they were to question me further I think I’d just give a quizzical head tilt and ask why’ why is it unfair to DH? Why are they thinking a child is a doll to dress?

DH had the snip in December anyway so it won’t happen but still!

What everyone else said. What are they gonna do if it turns out to be the 'wrong' kind again? Send it back? They're ridiculous. You should only have another baby if you want another baby and don't care what sex it is. I have 2 DSs and ex was disappointed at first that DS2 wasn't a girl, I didn't care either way, but he adored both equally and he never pressured me to try again, I was happy to stop at two. Even if I'd badly wanted a girl myself and wanted to try again there were no guarantees and I'd never want a child of mine to feel like a pp here who thinks she wouldn't be here if the previous sibling had been the desired sex. That's horrible.

Tell her to be grateful for what she has which many people would give anything for.

It never ceases to amaze me how people think that having children is a public project.

^^

This.

Until after they're born then they don't want to know. Babysitting? Nah.

Yanbu at all. I am pregnant with my second dc, another boy. I am very happy to be having another boy. I couldn’t care less what sex they are as long as they are happy and healthy. I’ve had a lot of people asking me if I’m disappointed or if I will try for a girl next. I absolutely won’t. I only want two children and I thrilled to be having 2 boys.

Since he was born I've had "are you going to try for a girl next?

I'm an aunt to 11 (all girls except for my 3 nephews) and it well boils my piss when people make comments like this - like we can choose a baby's sex simply by changing our sexual position at conception
As though our XX chromosome even has an equal vote in the matter!

Just laugh and tell her she'd be better off asking her - seeing as he's the one carrying the tadpoles