Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

I reported someone today for child abuse.

95 replies

Pipeup · 09/07/2018 00:52

Name changed as this is outing.

I watched a mother slam her young child to the floor and throw a bottle at him amongst other things.

I couldn't do much to intervene as I had my own child with me plus a friend of mine and her children. We both saw the full incident and I called the police straight away to report.

What I dont get though is why people are trying to make excuses for this kind of abuse.

I had a message off someone who knows the woman in question saying that her children are a right handful but surely there's a difference between discipline and violence.

Someone else came forward and said that she saw the same woman grab her child by the harm so forcefully she was actually worried it could of broke his arm.

So mumsnet did I do the right thing? If you. saw this happening would you report or turn a blind eye?

I've never reported anyone in my whole life for anything but seeing a child that frightened and distressed really shocked and upset me and the people I was with. I will admit I didn't see what happened in the minutes leading up to whay happened it was the the first push that caught my eye she sent him anout 5 meters across the grass it was that forceful then threw the bottle as he walked back towards her crying she then grabbed him by both arms swung him and threw him to the ground.

Aside from reporting what else could I of done differently in that situation especially when I had children with me myself. A lot of people are saying i should of hit her! I'm not violent at all and what sort of example is that for children anyway?

OP posts:

SleepWarrior · 09/07/2018 00:58

Of course you did the right thing - that poor child didn't have it's parent to protect it so a bystander was their only hope. If you'd walked on then that would have been the wrong thing to do.

I wouldn't want to turn a blind eye but I would struggle to know how to report when I didn't know names, addresses etc. Sounds like you knew who they were?

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 09/07/2018 00:59

Of course you did the right thing and don't be told different either. If she is doing that in public. It doesn't bare thinking about what's going on in private.
I disagree with people saying you should have hit her though. I mean what would that have achieved. It certainly would not have helped her poor little boy, would it.
Plus what good would you be to your own child had you been arrested for assault.

SleepWarrior · 09/07/2018 00:59

(Also must have been a horrible thing to witness so )

Adamsmom · 09/07/2018 01:00

100% right thing. Nothing can justify what she did

Stillme1 · 09/07/2018 01:00

As far as you making a report rather than getting involved with a woman who is clearly short on temper, I think you did the right thing for your children and your friend's children while still doing something to help the child who was being badly treated.

I have often wished that there was a person like you around in situations I was involved in (this is not abuse of me as a child). I did not have the courage to do what you have done, to my shame. I am rectifying things now before anyone says anything.

CatOwned · 09/07/2018 01:02

A bottle? Was she drinking?

You did the right thing. Gosh, sometimes I hear conversations and wonder why those people became parents.

flopsyrabbit1 · 09/07/2018 01:03

yes you did,wish more would

maybe they are a handful,maybe her parenting atributed to their behaviour

hopefully any help offered will get taken up

Broken11Girl · 09/07/2018 01:05

Of course you did the right thing reporting. That's way beyond a tired hot mum dealing with kid being 'a handful' and snapping. It's blatant abuse. Good for you.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 09/07/2018 01:06

You absolutely did the right thing

Poor child

I was told on here that I shouldn’t have interfered when I saw a mother grab their son by their collar and scream in his face becuase I probably made it worse for him at him as if this woman needed an excuse to be abusive towards b r son or I only say a snapshot of their day

Some people don’t want to to believe mothers can be cruel and it’s down to them being stressed

Original poster

Pipeup · 09/07/2018 01:06

I didn't know who she was no I was so angry I snapped a photo of her from a safe distance and posted it to my own wall on Facebook asking friends and family if they knew who she was. I do regret the post a bit but the police said it was the right thing as they wouldn't of had a name or anything to go by I dont usually agree with social media posts like this but I did feel she had to be reported for what she had done so i weighed up the pros and cons of doing it before I posted and decided it was better to post then not to.... didnt realise that post was going to be shared over 200 times. I removed the post once the police had all the information and a relative of the boy got in contact to thank me and said the boy has now been collected by his father and is safe.

OP posts:

Original poster

Pipeup · 09/07/2018 01:08

I dont think she was drinking alcohol im sure the bottle thrown was plastic but it did hit him in the face.

OP posts:

Carecomplet · 09/07/2018 01:11

Jesus Christ what a horrible woman. I think you did the right thing - if she's behaving this awfully in public, then what the fuck is she doing behind closed doors?!

I just wish more people realised that safeguarding really is everyone's business.

thejeangenie36 · 09/07/2018 01:13

Well done OP, from the message from the relative it sounds like you may have been crucial in saving a child from a dangerous situation. I think you can give yourself a big pat on the back.

LilQueenie · 09/07/2018 01:50

Yes you did the right thing. There is no excuse for violence against a child. ever.

Coyoacan · 09/07/2018 01:55

Well OP. I'm sure the child being a "handful" is down to her parenting, not the other way round.

Original poster

Pipeup · 09/07/2018 02:11

Thanks everyone. I've felt sure most of the day that I did the right thing but some of the comments I've had have just been so stupid i really did start to doubt myself but most of the negative comments all leaned to the fact that that I should of retaliated to what I saw by acting violent myself I'm just shocked that so many people think that's okay to act this way infront of a packed park full of children. I just really hope that help is offered to this family and I haven't actually ended up making things worse for the little boy.

OP posts:

MLMsuperfan · 09/07/2018 02:26

You did a great deal more than most people would have (sadly).

LudoFriend · 09/07/2018 02:33

No question, you did the right thing. Thank goodness you were there and saw it, although it must have been horrible to witness. Well done for thinking clearly and getting the photo.
You won't have made things worse. His Dad and the family member, plus the police and SS now know what happened. That can only help, trust me.

Candyflip · 09/07/2018 02:41

Reporting was the right thing to do. Taking a photo was a good idea to give the police more to go on. Posting it on Facebook? That is absolutely ridiculous, are you sure the police thought that was the right thing to do? Surely it would have just been better to hand over to the police rather than vigilante questioning on social media.

SmallBlondeMama · 09/07/2018 02:44

Thank god you called!! Poor kid!

Charolais · 09/07/2018 03:13

How old do you think the child was?

Bowerbird5 · 09/07/2018 04:54

You defiitely did the right thing.

Facebook not so sure ...can you have it removed?

Hit her...you might have been charged with assault!
.

mathanxiety · 09/07/2018 05:07

Well done for keeping a cool head and taking the photo.

And of course you did the right thing by reporting. Now the matter will be dealt with, and that photo of yours will stop any argument that what the mum did was open to a different interpretation. Hope you kept the photo.

Very glad the police responded.

Nice of the relative to get back to you. You will probably never know whether relatives have been concerned about the child's welfare but never had anything concrete to report.

mathanxiety · 09/07/2018 05:13

Surely it's only 'vigilante' if the identity of the person was broadcast, Candyflip. I see plenty of posts on FB concerning missing people, missing pets, etc. I don't see this as any different. The woman did what she did in public, with many other people looking on.

Candyflip · 09/07/2018 05:18

But the OP says that people were responding to her post. I think that is really not the op’s place to seek this person’s identity. It is down to the police/social services etc.

Flip

1 2 3 4