To think it's weird to let someone else change your baby?

[stellenbosch]

No, not PFB! FWIW, other two dcs went to nursery and but 3rd DC very clingy and I just can't imagine sending them to nursery and letting a stranger change them, or them being comfortable with that...

Guess I'll have to wait until they are potty trained. I don't know why, but I just feel very uneasy with letting a stranger change them... AIBU? Probably... but it doesn't feel like it!?

gillybeanz I think you’re splitting hairs here - they have qualifications and training therefore yes they are professionals, they aren’t amateur hobbyists.
You sound a bit dismissive of the profession which is a bit sniffy.

I taught childcare and yes, the tick box approach was scary.The students were told it was this course, travel and tourism or they had to stay at school and do A levels. Half of them didn't even want to do the job.
The saddest thing I saw was a grade A student choosing childcare and the school telling her she was too clever and should do A levels and go to uni.
Not one had a GCSE and had to take level 2 English and Maths.
A professional to me would be the ones with a Degree in childcare and development, but they tend to not go for the crap money.
I wouldn't have used a nursery if someone paid me.
I think too many parents believe they have professionals to make themselves feel better for leaving their kids tbh.

Nothing wrong with changing nappies, ticking boxes and playing with your kids and lot's of parents would be lost without their nursery but professionals, come on. Some build lovely relationships with their charges and I know of a couple who kept in touch with particular families over the years. Still not professionals though.

OP - have you had help for your anxiety. Surely nursery staff changing a nappy is a good thing ?

Why do you think they wouldn't be comfortable?

My DD is very clingy and before nursery only me or my husband had changed her. We just did lots and lots of settling in sessions so she got to know the staff and I changed her in the changing room so she was used to the environment. I was very anxious to send her to nursery but they have an app with a daily diary and they send me photos and videos during the day

Professional can mean belonging to a profession (so law, medicine, teaching, accountancy etc.), or in a paid capacity (so in contrast to amateur). So nursery workers are professionals.

GCSEs and A-Levels don’t make someone a great person to look after young children - nobody asks your qualifications before you become pregnant and have to care for your own. Surely the point of the NVQ system was to provide practical, work-based qualifications for people who either: a) might not have traditionally fitted the academic role or; b) worked in an area that needed qualifications focussed on that area of industry?

I have an undergraduate and postgraduate degree - doesn’t make me any better at changing a nappy or caring for a child than someone who has none.

i'd be happy if they were work based qualifications that actually meant something and taught something about the subject, they really are basic.
Right you've changed a nappy tick. Oh, you sang a song during circle time, tick. Oh, you told a parent what johnny had for dinner, tick.
If that's good enough for you and you want to think of this as being a professional then fairplay, but it wasn't enough for me.

TROLL 1/10

This is one of the weirder threads I have ever seen on here tbh.

If I'm playing with my friends baby and he needs a change, I bloody change it! Wouldn't dream of handing him back for the smelly bit then taking him back to play! Would be a total dick move imo.

Vanessa George was a fully vetted person..,

OP
I’m trying to understand why you were okay with first to going to nursery and having nappy changed etc.
But not the third child...

basic, I'm doing my level 3 in childcare.

my last assignment was on different theorys on development and the practices.of using these theories to provide the best environment. covering freud, maslow, Montessori

my level 4 in childcare is going to be more management and you can go into reception and year 1 with a level 3

yeah we may play but it isn't just fun and games, There is alot paper work, planning specific activities taking In to account of each child's needs so they all benifit in some way from the same activities.

yeah we may not be brain surgeons or even teachers in a big boy school but we still care and teach your children ... (at the most wearing age to)

Most nurseries allocate key workers to each child so the person changing your child's nappy would know them and the child would be used to them. So, not a stranger. In some cases the child is at nursery longer than they are at home with their parents. Are you suggesting mums shouldn't work until their child is out of nappies? That is weird.

Is there a reason why your child is particularly clingy? Maybe some exposure to nursery would help her gain more confidence.

your children learning journey arnt there for the parents enjoyment

they are mandatory from offstead, so we can track and moniter your child's development and high light any development problems as soon as possable. it has to be recorded as offstead also need evidence of this. every activity or game they play can be linked to a development goal from the eyfs record.

this is what pissed me off about some parents they think all we do is change shitty nappies and play with glitter.

But gillybeanz, what makes you think having a qualification in certain subjects makes someone more qualified to look after my child? I work with lots of people who have good degrees from good universities but quite frankly I wouldn’t trust most of them to look after a packed lunch til lunch time! My child went to nursery I have no idea which staff member had what qualification but I can tell you they were all kind, loving towards the children, engaged them in play, sparked their imaginination, kept the warm clean and fed. They were a lot better qualified at looking after my child than me! Took lots of interest in the kids. When we moved on to school we still visited many of the staff became Facebook friends and so interested to see how DS was doing! People who didn’t have the right skills didn’t last long. They’re the sort of people I want looking after my child there’s something wrong op if you can’t let someone look after your child to change it’s nappy. Please get help with your anxiety.

If I asked my DD before I did her nappy, she'd be removed by social services because she would be encrusted in her own shite.

Very strange OP especially as this is your third.. have you got some kind of weird thing going on , realising this is your last baby and not wanting to let go - trather than the child being 'clingy' it's actually the mother - and you are trying to justify your inability to separate from your child occasionally..
If this is the case you need to see the GP. It's a common aspect of undiagnosed PND.

If none of the above. Hold on a tick while I rummage in the medal box for a ......

martyrdom award 🥇 ..

(awarded to all mothers who do everything for their children, refusing all offers of help and assistance from others- sacrificing themselves on the Altar of 'knowing they and only they are able to care 'properly' for their child ' - in the face of sleeplessness, exhaustion, mind numbing boredom, frustration, and 'up-the-back-and-into-the-hair-arse-exploding-nappies. )

In Scotland all childcare staff have to be registered with the SSSC- a 'professional' body. I'm assuming from your description that it's been quite sometime since you've had experience of what it takes to become qualified in childcare @gillybeanz? @cmlover good luck in your essays, this thread makes me think of Bowlby's attachment experiment!

I feel sorry for children. Yikes.

what an odd thing to say. By my 3rd child I'd definitely lost all that pfb nonsense. Some kids are clingy. Still doesn't make it weird to have someone other that you change their nappy.

I never said it was sexual. Why have ppl jumped to that conclusion? I said dc was clingy and I didn't think they'd find it comfortable.

So what did you mean when you said you hear so many stories about nursery staff lately, OP?

No nursery staff is desperate to wipe your clingy child's shitty arse.

OP you have 4 pages of people unanimously saying YABVU - will you still continue to defend your (actually really disturbing) view, i wonder?

Oh ffs

I'd happily chew my arm off for someone to change my dc's bums, especially after a very stinky poo.

You are being precious

I thought you were going to say friends. I never asked a friend to change my child’s nappy and I wouldn’t feel comfortable either. Family members almost all did change them one time or another. And nursery workers - Absolutely YES! You’re crazy!