To think it's weird to let someone else change your baby?

[stellenbosch]

No, not PFB! FWIW, other two dcs went to nursery and but 3rd DC very clingy and I just can't imagine sending them to nursery and letting a stranger change them, or them being comfortable with that...

Guess I'll have to wait until they are potty trained. I don't know why, but I just feel very uneasy with letting a stranger change them... AIBU? Probably... but it doesn't feel like it!?

I'm almost With the woman who said you should ask kids before change their nappies.... Odfod You've hit the final nerve with the gf. I did not know the Dr or know that they were doing it when they cut my premature child out of my body to save us both. You are histrionic.

Sorry Eric, crossed posts there and pretty much said what you did!

And agree with Eric

I never said it was sexual. Why have ppl jumped to that conclusion? I said dc was clingy and I didn't think they'd find it comfortable.

I also find that hilarious the 'asking for permission to change a nappy' crap. Someone said it was so they grow up learning they have a right to refuse someone seeing that part of them. But in reality, all it teaches them is, you can say no but an adult might do it anyway. Unless they actually do let them sit it their own mess until sore!

I think you’ve had enough answers to confirm that you are in the extreme minority having a problem with this. Respecting children’s bodies as their own is one thing, refusing to let anyone except you touch them is another.

What do you think would happen op? At the end of the day, changing nappies is no different to do than any other baby related job- feeding them, putting them down for a sleep, wiping their faces and hands etc...

It’s just one human attending to the needs of another. Absolute nothing wrong or weird about it at all. When we go into hospital we are looked after by strangers. We let them inject us, prod us about, stitch us, wipe our bums, clear up our vomit etc.

I worked with nursery up to reception age children as a TA. I couldn’t count all the bums I’ve cleaned, wee and poo accidents ive cleaned up and the kids that I’ve helped sort out a change of clothes for, grazes and cuts I’ve cleaned etc. We are in loco parentis so we do the things that parents do for their DC. It’s an important part of the job to make sure children are clean and comfortable and are comforted if they hurt themselves or wet themselves etc.

I said dc was clingy and I didn't think they'd find it comfortable

No, you said it was ‘inherently weird’ and that fou are ‘calling bullshit’ on anyone who disagreed.

And if I had a quid for every runny nose I’ve wiped, I’d be a millionaire.

What about when you give birth and you have people poking about in your fanny?

Amen. There were people down there whose faces I didn't even see. Who i could have a casual conversation with whilst sat next to on a bus and neither of us would know that they had a some point been rooting around in my particulars. Unless possibly I whipped my pants off and assumed the position of course. But even then it's no guarantee! If that's not weird, then changing a babies nappy who does not happen to be your own offspring is definitely not.

Op, why was it ok for your first two children ?!

What?? What do you do at the doctors or health visitor? What about family?

As Humans, we should Care for each other. That involves putting food in one end and cleaning up the other. Whether it's a baby, someone who is incontinent, or someone unconscious/incapacitated etc.

As someone who has done Adult Care, it doesn't register that you are dealing with a part of the body that is deemed as sexual, it is just part of the overall care that needs doing.

If anyone wants to change my kids nappy.. be my guest!

How nice that you can have the choice to not send your child to nursery, simply for this batshit reasoning.

If its just about clinginess why on earth focus on nappy changing of all things? Dropping them off, getting them to sleep would be the usual stuff you'd worry about with a clingy child. And you yourself said it was weird and inappropriate in general, but now it's about one specific child being uncomfortable? Yeah right....

What the fuck are you actually on about.

Ok, so it was ok for nursery staff to change your other two children but not ok for them to change the clingy child?? Maybe I’ve misunderstood because that would just be a ridiculous thing to say.

Yeah, that's weird to think that. Particularly only about one of your three children.

If its just about clinginess why on earth focus on nappy changing of all things? Dropping them off, getting them to sleep would be the usual stuff you'd worry about with a clingy child.

This. With bells on. Why would a child find it particularly uncomfortable to have their nappy changed if they’re clingy, but not to be put down for a nappy, or fed?

You say you’re not anxious - good for you - but if you really aren’t, it’s a very strange view to take. Everybody is technically a stranger to a newborn when they first meet them (aside from their birth mother), so partners shouldn’t change their own children until a sufficient amount of time has passed? Grandparents, aunts, uncles etc. shouldn’t change a nappy?

You say it’s not sexual, and I think you really believe that, but would you object to someone cleaning up your child if they’d been sick? Or grazed their knee? Or is it just because it’s their external sex organs that need cleaning in the changing example?

You’re really quite odd, op.

If, as you claim, your only concern is that DC3 is clingy, you would be worried about leaving them in the care of others, you wouldn’t be fixating on nappy changing. That’s weird and creepy

A childcare professional changing a child’s nappy is no different from them feeding or playing or putting them to bed, they’re taking care of the child’s basic needs. Nothing weird about it!

I don't have children but I am trained in childcare, I have worked in nurseries and I have changed plenty of nappies. When I was training and I first changed a nappy, this was my main concern. I was worried that parents would think there was something wrong with me for wanting to look after their child and change a nappy.

I'd just like to say I am so happy with the response that most people have had to this and that they don't think it is weird. I got past it after the first few times however it is really good to see.

The alternative is letting your child sit in their waste, or not having any childcare.

OP, YABU, but so are all the others calling nursery workers professionals.
That's if you call someone with an NVQ and maybe some low level GCSE's a professional.
Yes, Lawyers, Doctors, Nurses, they all just have the min quals.
ffs

Ugh @gillybeanz you're just a peach