To be annoyed with husband

[Rosie342]

I feel I am being unreasonable.
My husband went to the pub today to watch the England match, something I told him to do instead of just sitting in with me, his 24 weeks pregnant wife to watch it. He asked a few times if I was ok with it and I pushed him to go, no big deal. He said he'd be home about 6pm having gone out at 12. I never asked him to come home or what time etc.
8pm rolls around and I take the dog out since he's not back, this has hurt my stomache because she pulls and is quite big. I get home and he's at the front door having forgot his keys and informs me he is home at 9pm to change his shoes because he's going down town.
I'm annoyed because;

1. We were supposed to spend the evening together child free before our new addition comes along and I had asked my mother to watch our other child.

1. I've hurt myself walking the dog because he was inconsiderate enough to leave me to do it.
2. He never told me he wanted to go out to town so I've not eaten all flipping day because we were supposed to get a pizza.

And 4. I'm pregnant, alone, in a bit of pain and have only seen him for about 1hr today because he was working all morning. We've not had time alone in months and he's decided that tonight he wants to go out.

@Rosie I don’t think it was a silly comment. And I don’t appreciate being told what to say either by you. How utterly rude.

From your post you had already referred to feeling irritated by your pregnancy when walking the dog. In my pregnancy I had the same situation and just felt “bloody pregnant and bloody fed up”.

How on earth you think it’s ok to flame me for offering you advice that you ASKED for is beyond me.. Chill out FFS...

Finding this quite funny TBH..

I'd be annoyed and I'm neither pregnant or managed to organise a rare night of gp baby sitting.
You had planned for a relaxed sat afternoon both doing Own thing and then an evening together with food.
And then he stands you up without any notice, making it clear he'd prefer to be with others not you. Very rude really. He could have carried in drinking at home with you surely? Most people would have waited to have main meal together if that was the plan and just snacked whilst waiting.

I was ok with it and I pushed him to go, no big deal. He said he'd be home about 6pm having gone out at 12. I never asked him to come home or what time etc

This is at complete odds with what you then go on to say needed doing/had planned. Walk the dog. Pizza for tea. Evening together.

If it’s not a regular occurrence it’s not an issue.

Ha. I've just been through this with my DP. he went out last night and didn't get in till 3 am. Originally said he was t going to be out late a s should be home by 12 ish. I was bloody annoyed... but he doesn't do it every weekend and it was the football after all. I'm out next week so it's payback time haha xx

I’d be pissed off too! He’d made plans to go
Out with you. Why is it ok for him to let you down at the last minute?

Why do so many women have such low expectations of their partner?

You should have expected this really, it's the world cup, the weather is beautiful and of course he'd have a few and get the taste.

Also, if you are pg, why haven't you eaten all day? I don't imagine that's a good thing to do. Especially in this heat.

As for walking the dog, did you only do that to make a point? It was in no way cool enough yet for dogs at 8, we took ours out at 11 and it was still too humid.

It seems like you just wanted reasons to beat him with imo.

Book yourself a spa day. Tell him day before he'll be looking after child tomorrow as you'll be out. Dont now when you'll be back. Yes is short notice dearest but more than you gave me. Bye

I think at the very least he should have texted you to let you know that his plans had changed and to say go ahead and eat without him. That's just common courtesy.

The fact that we're apparently better at kicking balls around this year is no excuse for selfishness.

If it hurts you to take out the dog, he most definitely should have done it. If you were waiting to have a pizza with him, he should have sent you a text or something to say you should order one for yourself. And if you were expecting to have an evening together, he's made a commitment. I'd be fuming if my DH backtracked on spending time with me because England won a bloody football game.

YANBU.

How firm were your pizza plans? Because you say I never asked him to come home or what time etc.

You do seem unreasonably put out that his plans changed. I suspect he got swept away in the excitement of communal watching then celebrating something unusual.

Hope his head is ok this morning. And that you enjoyed your pizza

What Eliza said.

Yabu because you are 24 weeks. All this crap about a night together before the new addition- is crap.

Also- I wouldn't have expected my dp to come back at 6 after an afternoon watching the football.

And the dog hurt your stomach? Ffs.

What Brutus said ^^

I would let it go especially if he is usually ok. Let him sort out another night out in its entirety sitter, booking restaurant etc to make up for last night.

YANBU I would have been annoyed too.

He went out to watch the match, which you were fine with, but you had plans for the evening which you were looking forward to. He's now decided (without discussion) that he's going to do something else without considering that this impacts on you too. It's selfish, esp if child-free time alone together is scarce.

Oh, and tell him that walking the dog needs to be his job now.

You can be annoyed and it would be the fair thing for him to make it up to you another day but why on earth have you not eaten all day??? You're an adult and that's totally your responsibility.

And the dog hurt your stomach? Ffs.

When I was 26 weeks I almost lost my baby after lifting a small box caused the placenta to partially tear away. I was a bit sore and felt like I had pulled a muscle but woke the following morning in a puddle of blood. A large dog could potentially do the same.

The hostility on this thread is a bit scary.

Replace any other event with ‘world cup’ and you’d have got very different responses OP.

I think it’s rude- he said he was coming back at six for dinner and a quiet night in with his pregnant wife. He unilaterally changed the plan without even bothering to communicate that with the OP.

It’s indisputably rude. do people really think she should just suck it up? Him not even being arsed to talk to her about his plans?

I like football as much as the next person but it isn’t an excuse for being an arse. Usual rules of common courtesy still apply.

I don’t think that you are being unreasonable however I can understand how this happened. England win, he’s with his friends, they’ve had a few drinks and got over excited. I was kind of the same last night but I had told my husband from the start that I was likely to be out all night.
He probably shouldn’t have promised to take you out after the England game knowing that if we won he’d want to be with his friends.
Can your mum babysit again? Plan another night that doesn’t coincide with the football I reckon!

Poor man. Gets told to go out then gets nagged at for doing so. Nobody asked you to walk the dog.

Totally not the point of the thread, but why did you not eat anything all day in anticipation of a pizza?

Regular snacks was one of my favourite parts of pregnancy (even though hyperemisis meant very little stayed for very long)

I hope you’ve hidden this thread OP, because some of these replies are si nasty.

I also hope your H has apologiesed for being a selfish twat.