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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Feel Outraged.

276 replies

IgamOgamJones · 07/07/2018 15:17

I received a letter from my doctor's surgery about cervical smears. I don't want one. I'm 50 and don't want any more, I've done what they said for my entire adult life re getting a cervical smear and I've had enough thank you NHS, no need to spend precious funds on that ok? NO, not ok. The letter says that if I do not wish to have these tests I am required to ring my doctor and then after that if I STILL don't want the bloody thing shoved up me and my cervix scraped then I am required to ring another bloody number! FFS! I don't want my cervix scraped any more and I don't want to listen to a well meaning doctor explain to me that I have no idea about my health so isn't it better to be safe rather than sorry...now, knickers off and open your legs so I can shove this thing up you AGAIN. Am I overreacting, I don't bloody think so!

OP posts:
LighthouseSouth · 07/07/2018 21:00

@Clubcuts

You haven't said what you'd do for survivors of sexual abuse and smear tests.

Okay, so if in future I have knee issues, back issues, you won't refuse treatment because I'm a regular runner? Okay.

I definitely need to think over my views on the NHS.

Oh and the poster who said the nhs wouldn't waste money - I left a contract job there because it was a pointless job, with no outcomes for patients, backed a by team of 4 on 50-80k. I could have sat there and taken the morning bey but with family working in the NHS, on patient care, I decided not to be part of that pushing paper side.

BlancheM · 07/07/2018 21:04

@jobjobjob so? The discussion has evolved since OP's post. I am telling you why you can't blackmail women into having screenings against their wishes. That is one reason why. It's all subjective anyway.
You agree that abused women shouldn't have to face a smear then, but how would they prove it in order to be deemed suitable for future NHS treatment? I could go on. Just stop infantilising grown women and allow them to either accept or decline smears.

SummerLife · 07/07/2018 21:07

YABVU - 'Outraged'? Honestly? Don't be so ridiculous.

I had smear tests regularly every time I was invited. Nothing untoward until I was 50. I'm now 52 and being monitored once a year.

So what if some women do feel some pain having a smear - I'm sure no woman with cervical cancer ever said to herself "I'm so glad I didn't have all those painful smear tests, being treated for cervical cancer is so much more pleasant". Hmm

TheFormerMrsPugwash · 07/07/2018 21:10

I think men over a certain age do get letters about bowel screening, though may be slightly mis-remembering...

Writersblock2 · 07/07/2018 21:10
Biscuit
Bluetrews25 · 07/07/2018 21:15

Any woman who does not want to have something in her vagina should not be coerced or bullied into it by GP or internet forum.
She's already said no to that cup of tea, if you get me, so please think about what you are doing when you continue to badger her.
I don't go for smears now (impossible to schedule due to long work hours, very unpredictable cycle and difficulty predicting 10 weeks in advance where I will be in my cycle, combined with being very low risk ) and I declined my mammogram (why would I want to check for cancer by exposing myself to something known to cause cancer?)
I am also very likely to decline any cancer treatment, thanks.
Saying that she should therefore pay privately for any treatment is a little unfair. Smears do not cause cancer, but might detect it. Smoking and alcohol do cause cancer, but no-one is suggesting that smokers and drinkers should pay for their treatment, are they, and their actions actively cause the cancer.
YANBU OP to object to being fed up of the coercion, as I bet the '2 phone calls' will involve a big high pressure sales patter from whoever is on the other end.

AlessandroVasectomi · 07/07/2018 21:23

I had the same thing with bowel cancer screening. My colon was removed in 2010, so bowel cancer is an impossibility for me. I returned the invitation letter, suitably annotated to explain why it was irrelevant for me. Next year another arrived, so I rang the unit that had issued the letter and got an apology and an assurance that my name would be removed from their database. Next year another invitation arrived, but this time after yet another explanatory phone call my name was removed from their records and the invitations have finally stopped.

AynRandTheObjectivist · 07/07/2018 21:23

Nobody is going to march her into the clinic if she doesn't want to have a smear.

It's utterly foolish not to have it, but people have the right to be fools.

It's ridiculous to be 'outraged' that a doctor is carrying out their duty of care towards a patient.

Pebblespony · 07/07/2018 21:30

You could just put the letter in the bin. It's not like a Hogwarts letter, I doubt you'll be inundated. All this outrage seems like a waste of energy.

Aneurin · 07/07/2018 21:33

I've signed a form to say I don't want to be invited for a smear. I have extremely personal reasons for this, that I have explained to the GPs. They still tried to force me to have it during appointments about other issues, going so far as to bring the nurse in and prepare the examination table all whilst I said no. I had to run out of the consulting room and was actually chased by the GP through the waiting room. Therefore I don't go to the GP anymore despite other health issues.

I would also decline any cancer or other treatment involving intimate procedures. I declined a colonoscopy but the gastroenterologist was fine about that.

LadyLauraOver · 07/07/2018 21:35

A lot of food for thought in this thread.

Daxter · 07/07/2018 21:36

It's really easy to opt out of reminders in my area. They're sent by some central place in another county. You can opt out for three years via email or permanently by filling out a form and posting it to them. I opted out permanently about 3.5 years ago and I haven't heard from them since.

My GP has never mentioned smears to me at all and the surgery also has signs up telling you who to contact if you want to opt out of the reminders.

Tistheseason17 · 07/07/2018 21:42

It's not like a Hogwarts letter

🤣🤣🤣

Writersblock2 · 07/07/2018 21:43

@Bluetrews25 - brilliant post!

FlyingMonkeys · 07/07/2018 21:48

If you don't want a smear - don't get a smear. Don't whine about a letter to be offered a smear because you don't have to have one.... pointless complaint.

Original poster
IgamOgamJones · 07/07/2018 21:53

I'm not complaining about making some phone calls. My issues are that we as women are subjected to unnecessary and invasive testing/screening in a way which is completely different to the way men are. Why is this? Does this imply that we 'need looking after' or that we are unable to recognise or maybe describe symptoms or the way we feel? Also, the letter is worded to insist that I attend or contact them, again. I've had enough smear tests and declined the mammogram too although I've never had one and shan't be doing so, unless hell freezes over I feel the need for one.

OP posts:
FlyingMonkeys · 07/07/2018 21:53

@Anenurin your GP chased you through the doctors surgery whilst the nurses prepared a table after insisting you had a smear?... on what planet?

LighthouseSouth · 07/07/2018 21:56

OP "My issues are that we as women are subjected to unnecessary and invasive testing/screening in a way which is completely different to the way men are. Why is this?"

I hear you.

FlyingMonkeys · 07/07/2018 21:57

OP - men are routinely offered prostate exams your argument is invalid.

Writersblock2 · 07/07/2018 21:57

OP, because the medical industry has a long history of misogyny. Simples.

Writersblock2 · 07/07/2018 21:59

Actually, men don’t have nearly the issues women have with screening and refusing.

Men can easily get sterilised compared to women.

Medications and various surgeries have all been tested on the benchmark of “male physiology”.

Bloodybridget · 07/07/2018 22:02

Several years ago I explained to a GP at my practice that I didn't want any more smear tests because the last one had been extremely uncomfortable; I added that as I'd never had an abnormal result, and not had sex with a man for nearly forty years, I reckoned I was very low risk! She agreed, I signed a form.

I was asked to reconfirm the decision and sign again recently. This is very good practice. Honestly OP YABU to see screening programmes as discriminatory towards women.

FlyingMonkeys · 07/07/2018 22:04

@Writersblock2 Are you aware men can also develop breast cancer? How many men are routinely offered mammograms?... none. Yes, screening is completely unfair and baised.

QueenArnica · 07/07/2018 22:04

A routine smear saved my life, I had cervical cancer with no symptoms whatsoever. Had to have a radical hysterectomy and lymph nodes removed.
I think your “outrage” is a bit OTT and ridiculous, screw the letter up, shove the letter in the recycling and move on with your life.
There are far greater things to get “outraged” about in life surely. Peace and love Smile

Writersblock2 · 07/07/2018 22:08

Yes, I’m aware. I’d refuse mammograms too.