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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my dh is pathetic about a doctor

111 replies

LOL7 · 07/07/2018 15:03

So I am currently 28 weeks pregnant and having problems with my heart- palpatations etc. Yesterday I saw a doctor who did an ecg and I have to go back on Monday for another one and a heart echo with a cardiologist. My dh was helping me take the stickers off last night from under my breast and asked me if I had to take my bra off, and if it was a man or a woman. I told him it wasn't under wired so I left it on just undone and they just had to go slightly underneath to put the stickers on, and that it was a female midwife who undone/done up my bra but a male doctor who did the ecg. He suddenly got grumpy and said that was disrespectful and I should have asked for a female to do it, and that I need to ask for a female cardiologist on Monday Hmm I told him I just needed to see any doctor that was available and he's being pathetic, and he said I wouldn't like it if he had a female doctor look at his penis?? Apparently he's not BU as women are most likely to have affairs with doctors!
Aibu to think he is acting like a totally pathetic child over me getting medical help over an important issue that could potentially affect our unborn baby??

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 07/07/2018 16:31

He's simply ridiculous. Not sure I could stay with a man who thought like this.

Emma198 · 07/07/2018 16:32

what a cock

Kpo58 · 07/07/2018 16:33

Sounds like he has been wanting porn. Only in pornland can people not keep their hands off each other.

DiegoMadonna · 07/07/2018 16:34

I think your husband has some serious issues.

mrsFruitLoops · 07/07/2018 16:40

I had a male Doctor examine my breasts when I got mastitis. Neither I nor my dh cared...he was the only gp at our practice and I needed medical help.

I doubt he got off on my red lumpy boobs and I certainly didn't lol.

BewareOfDragons · 07/07/2018 16:41

I'm actually sad you're having a baby with a man like this.

dontgobaconmyheart · 07/07/2018 16:41

How puerile and controlling he sounds OP. Don't let his pathetic opinions make you feel you did anything wrong as this is all his own issue, suggestions of affairs is beyond a joke. How insulting.
Time to remind him he is not the owner of your body, never will be, and seriously consider whether you're happy with a man that thinks this offensive draconian rubbish. I would not want this rubbing off on, or being inflicted on a child. Does he intend to bathe and change his child if she is female or is that also in some way inappropriate? The fact this is such an issue for him is a huge red flag that you'd be well advised not to sweep under the carpet. What is he like otherwise?

WellThisIsShit · 07/07/2018 16:42

Revolting animal. Shows how he thinks about women doesn’t it? You as a possession. An object that other men need his permission to touch even when they are potentially saving your life. They need permission from him (not you of course, not your body), otherwise they are disrespecting HIM????

Who’s the disrespectful one again?

Utterly vile.

And does he honestly think a woman doctor will be overcome with lust after touching his wrinkled little todger and what, exactly? Start wanking him off? Or giving him a blow job whilst the white coat just pings off to reveal a peephole bra and see through heel stilletoes AKA every low budget porn film known to man??????

More likely, she handles it boringly and professionally, with gloves on to avoid catching infection, and talking to the other health care professional who’s there to chaperone, or talking to him, reassuringly, so he’s not terrified of cancer or whatever the problem is. She’s seen so many, all she’s interested in is doing her job, and getting to the canteen before they run out of donuts today. Certainly not blown away by the amazingly standard penis before her. Just glad if it’s not too unwashed. Scarcely a thought before she goes onto the next appointment with the next private parts. Yawn. Real horny stuff.

The stupid ignorant wanker.

Oh dear op, you have to deal with this pathetic imbecile when you’re pregnant and have a heart problem. I’m sorry Brew Cake

BrexitWife · 07/07/2018 16:47

Apparently he's not BU as women are most likely to have affairs with doctors!
Affairs?? I thought there was a risk of inappropriate behaviour some some Male doctors (hence the chaperone etc...) but affairs??
Sorry but he sounds thick or a twat

ElderflowerWaterIsDelish · 07/07/2018 16:49

Op is your husband jealous or controlling in any other part of your life, because it is a huge red flag that he would potentially compromise your health by not wanting you to have a male dr, that is not normal behaviour, you are there to get your health issues dealt with, if he thinks that if a male dr touches near your bra you will immediately have an affair with him then he has either a massive trust issues or a warped view on women in general...

If you feel comfortable with the male dr, then continue to see the male dr, if you back down and compromise on this then it won't be long before dh is making you back down and compromise on something else...

Atthebottomofthegarden · 07/07/2018 16:53

What a dick head. I assume you told him to stop being so bloody stupid. And wouldn’t give a shiny shit if he show his bits to a female GP. (Professionally, rather than down the pub...!)

traceyturnblatt · 07/07/2018 16:53

@LakieLady Grin

Just thought it best to check in case there was some ultralight new technique that this old nurse wasn't aware of

Also OP I've seen more than my fair share of various bits and bobs and I can say with complete confidence that I've never thought "phwooar".

As I'm doing my job like a professional, like your doctor was.

Think your DH needs to give his head a wobble.

(Not too hard though or he'll hurt his neck and need to see a doctor!😉)

Appleandmango22 · 07/07/2018 16:56

Seriously!?
I had a male doctor break my waters. My legs in were in stirrups.
Dh didn’t give a shit.

Lucked · 07/07/2018 17:03

Please do not let him makes these demands in labour. If it was for your own personal reasons and it could be facilitated then that’s one thing but otherwise it is control and idiocy from him.

It amazes me that this attitude persists, it says a lot about the person saying it. Is he incapable of looking at a female and not sexualising her?

rinabean · 07/07/2018 17:04

YANBU, it would be fine if you didn't want a male doctor for yourself but it's really not on for him to dictate to you that you're not allowed one. At least he seems to apply this to himself and it's not a double standard? But he shouldn't be applying it to anyone. Again if he personally doesn't want a female doctor doing exams that's fine but to make it into a sexual jealousy thing with you is weird.

sexnotgender · 07/07/2018 17:05

What a wank badger 'D'H is.

The only thing he should be concerned about with the doctor is whether he is giving the mother of his child the best care.

Lucked · 07/07/2018 17:07

I am now remembering the male doctor manually removing my placenta in theatre; he was up to his elbows in me so I am amazed he could control himself - as he saved my life!

OhHolyFuck · 07/07/2018 17:13

I'm sure there's easier ways of very slightly touching women's boobs than however many years of medical school

pallisers · 07/07/2018 17:15

he sounds a bit thick tbh. Is he usually a bit stupid when it comes to life?

Also, any use of the word disrespectful usually means the guy is both thick and unpleasant.

I also had a male doctor manually removing my placena in an emergency situation. When ds went to daycare, turns out his child was also there so I would often see him at pick up/drop off. Dh assured me the last thing the man would remember about me was my face.

PigEyedHorseFrightener · 07/07/2018 17:16

You’re married to a twat. Sorry you didn’t realise til after you got pregnant 💐

Sprogletsmuvva · 07/07/2018 17:22

When I was 37 wks,the male consultant got several fingers up me- for a sweep. (Same technique used a few days later by a female nurse, when the 1st go didn’t work.) I was too busy finding it very painful to contemplate any sexual element.

What’s also worrying about the OP was if she was unlucky enough to be in an actual situation of being abused by a HCP - would her ‘D’H believe and support her? Or would he believe she was “having an affair “?

9amTrain · 07/07/2018 17:24

Prick.

SheRasBra · 07/07/2018 17:27

Our DD was delivered by forceps by a huge, very charismatic male registrar (think french Usain Bolt in scrubs). Afterwards he put his arm around DH's shoulder, gave him a squeeze and said, "Are you ok Dad, scary huh?" which I thought was lovely.

DH said he was so grateful as it was all a bit touch and go. I'm sure that wouldn't have happened if we'd had a female doc and I couldn't have cared less that he was a man.

I hope everything is fine with you and the rest of your pregnancy. Tell your DH to get a grip.

Confusedbeetle · 07/07/2018 17:29

You are having a baby. By God, he has some things to get used to

hungryhippie · 07/07/2018 17:29

That is seriously weird.
If YOU wanted a female, rather than a male, that is totally understandable but he does not get to dictate that.
What is he going to do if you need an obstetrician in childbirth and its a man? Mine was. Hands up there and everything. Looking at my fanny with a light on so he could sew me up afterwards.
He is being pathetic.

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