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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my dh is pathetic about a doctor

111 replies

LOL7 · 07/07/2018 15:03

So I am currently 28 weeks pregnant and having problems with my heart- palpatations etc. Yesterday I saw a doctor who did an ecg and I have to go back on Monday for another one and a heart echo with a cardiologist. My dh was helping me take the stickers off last night from under my breast and asked me if I had to take my bra off, and if it was a man or a woman. I told him it wasn't under wired so I left it on just undone and they just had to go slightly underneath to put the stickers on, and that it was a female midwife who undone/done up my bra but a male doctor who did the ecg. He suddenly got grumpy and said that was disrespectful and I should have asked for a female to do it, and that I need to ask for a female cardiologist on Monday Hmm I told him I just needed to see any doctor that was available and he's being pathetic, and he said I wouldn't like it if he had a female doctor look at his penis?? Apparently he's not BU as women are most likely to have affairs with doctors!
Aibu to think he is acting like a totally pathetic child over me getting medical help over an important issue that could potentially affect our unborn baby??

OP posts:
Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname · 07/07/2018 15:56

I had a male mw deliver ds.
Exh wasn't best pleased. .
Not that he noticed much since he was sleeping in a chair as I gave birth.

Celebelly · 07/07/2018 15:56

I really can't imagine anything less conducive to having an affair than a medical professional examining your bits in a clinical setting. It's hardly sexy.

mumsastudent · 07/07/2018 15:57

oh damn it I am having a cardiac arrest you cant massage my heart I will wait for a female doctor - (lets get really non pc here - apologies for any offence, please note this is sarcasm/irony alert) & what if said female doctor is gay - should you check that too? The last thing you care about when giving birth etc is what sex your doctor is.

BeenThereDone · 07/07/2018 16:00

Tell him that's why the nurse/midwife is there. They also act in the capacity of chaperone. Or he can take the time off work and accompany u to every appointment.

Or just laugh and tell him to grow the fuck up. They look at breasts, penis', bum everyday, several times a day. Unless you are the most irresistible woman alive (which no doubt u are) he's hardly groping and dribbling all over you.

AnyFucker · 07/07/2018 16:02

That is pathetic

Stormy76 · 07/07/2018 16:03

He is being an idiot, it doesn't matter what sex the expert is so long as you get the right treatment. He sounds immature and he is focusing on the wrong thing.

Tistheseason17 · 07/07/2018 16:04

More worried about who you see than how unwell you could be.

Insecure numpty

FilledSoda · 07/07/2018 16:05

That's actually quite worrying and a big red flag.
Has he made statements like that before?

katseyes7 · 07/07/2018 16:06

l was once in an ambulance on my way to hospital, with the paramedic hooking me up to the heart monitor. As he had his hand up my top putting the sticky pads on, my husband commented "She'd slap me if l did that!" and grinned.
Why on earth would a man get 'territorial' about a medical professional?! Surely the important thing is that you're being monitored and looked after?

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 07/07/2018 16:06

Apparently he's not BU as women are most likely to have affairs with doctors!

He sounds like a nasty piece of work with a complete lack of respect for you.

He suddenly got grumpy and said that was disrespectful and I should have asked for a female to do it, and that I need to ask for a female cardiologist on Monday

'Fuck off' is the right thing to say here.

Red flag! Big fecking red flag. You're having a baby with this idiot?

Quite. He sounds like a controlling, unpleasant arse.

Knittedfairies · 07/07/2018 16:06

‘Disrespectful’? I don’t understand who he thinks was disrespected..
So you’re having investigations for palpitations, and his worry is that the procedure is carried out by a man? What a fool he is.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 07/07/2018 16:07

YANBU at all, he's a pathetic twat who apparently assumes all males have lustful thoughts about all females they touch. This tells you rather a lot about him.
Stupid idiot that he is.

Kingsclerelass · 07/07/2018 16:09

What century was your dh born in, 19th? 18th? He’s being absurd.

He needs to grow up, a lot. Quite apart from being too professional, most medical staff are too rushed and too tired to worry about anything except getting the job done.

ApolloandDaphne · 07/07/2018 16:09

He is without doubt a prize asshat.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 07/07/2018 16:10

Remember that Saudi female student who died because the ambulance sent for her contained male paramedics and they weren't allowed onto the female-only campus? gulfnews.com/news/gulf/saudi-arabia/saudi-female-student-dies-after-male-ambulance-crew-denied-access-1.1287560
Is that what he wants for you - to potentially suffer healthwise because a female can't be found to treat you in time?
Misogynistic dickhead.

aldaniti · 07/07/2018 16:12

Really bizarre and worrying. It amazes me how men like this get women to marry them without giving away some sign that they are actually controlling arses.

IwantedtobeEmmaPeel · 07/07/2018 16:13

He is an idiot, or a time traveller from the victorian era. It is hugely disrespectful to you and the male doctor to suggest that you are both likely to start an affair. Ask him if trusts you? Also he should be more concerned with your health that anything else.

CantChoose · 07/07/2018 16:14

As I female GP I can promise I've never had an affair with a patient, nor have I ever been excited by a patient's penis Hmm
I don't know anyone who has had an affair with a patient (as far as I know, anyway).
I agree with PPs that this would be a red flag for me. Consider your relationship carefully and seek help if you think you need to, OP.

Munchyseeds · 07/07/2018 16:16

Is he for real?? What an idiot!!
OP hope everything goes well on Mon

Takfujimoto · 07/07/2018 16:19

How unfortunate to discover what a fucknuckle you've landed yourself with after you've already conceived.

I think that if he isn't able to grown the fuck up and realise how pathetic he's being and actually starts to support you then he shouldn't be at the birth, you don't need someone this insecure and frankly idiotic to rely on, he has proved his priorities are massively skewed.

Could you hire a Dula or your mum/friend etc.

I wouldn't want him anywhere near me.

Lalalala3 · 07/07/2018 16:21

My DP didn't like the man doing my sonograph but then neither did I. He kept asking me to pull my knickers down further and further as baby was low and it made me uncomfortable, I wouldn't have felt that way with a woman.

I also wouldn't want a male midwife.

DP did get a bit weird at me having a male gynaecologist when I had some issues down there. It as quite invasive. Again, I think I would have preferred a woman.

I wouldn't want to get my breasts out in front of a male doctor.

But he has no right to dictate.

Lalalala3 · 07/07/2018 16:22

Also what you had was not invasive at all, it doesn't make much sense

nosleepnosense · 07/07/2018 16:27

"Women are more likely to have affairs with doctors", what, more likely than men are? Can he point to a study that's shown this? Idiot.

LakieLady · 07/07/2018 16:30

Unless he's doing the ECG with his penis

Pmsl, Tracey!

EdWinchester · 07/07/2018 16:30

Poor you! Married to a moron.

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