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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think they're old enough to be told no?

82 replies

Cupcakecafe · 06/07/2018 10:12

I'm getting married soon and having centrepieces similar to these.

There will be a few kids at the wedding, mostly aged 6 and one 10 year old. Stbdh thinks that the kids would knock over the centrepieces and get water everywhere and break the glasses.
I think at 6 and 10 they are old enough to be told to not climb on tables and pull things. I understand they may accidentally bump tables, but I'm not having the water to the top of the vase and the vases will be stuck onto the mirror plates with tape so a snall bump should be ok.
Stbdh still thinks that the children will still mess around and knock over vases and break them. Stbmil agrees and thinks iabu to think that they are old enough to be told to behave themselves.

So aibu to think they are plenty old enough to be told no and understand that?

To think they're old enough to be told no?

OP posts:

Alienspaceship · 06/07/2018 10:16

At 6 and 10 it should be fine.

UpstartCrow · 06/07/2018 10:16

Are the children sitting at their own table? I wouldn't put that as their centerpiece if they are.

GaspingGekko · 06/07/2018 10:16

6 and 10? Definitely old enough to be told no.
Old enough to not have to be told no. I'd be shocked at anyone thinking my 5 year old still needed instruction on how to behave at a table.

onalongsabbatical · 06/07/2018 10:17

Kids will all be accompanied by responsible parents, right? I cannot see why this is even an issue! Talk about looking for problems. I mean, there'll be glasses of wine, fizz etc too, and they'll be closer to the edges of the tables and not stuck down, so by their reckoning, you should just ban all glasses. At a wedding. Yes, that's gonna happen. By the way, congratulations, and those centrepieces are lovely!

neddle · 06/07/2018 10:18

Depends on the kids really.
We went to a wedding last month and got bored waiting between courses. We ended up throwing crayons into the glass fish bowl in the middle of the table as a game. Noticed later on that it had a crack in it.

Seeline · 06/07/2018 10:19

As long as the children are sitting with adults, and not just on their own table it should be fine.
I'd be more worried about the adults getting a little 'over-excited' after having one too many TBH

53rdWay · 06/07/2018 10:19

6 and 10, fine. Drunken adults later on the evening would be a bigger problem!

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 06/07/2018 10:23

My DS is 6 and certainly wouldn't be climbing on tables or grabbing centrepieces at a wedding.

Wildernessie · 06/07/2018 10:23

Christ some of my mates kids(varying ages between5-11)are pretty poorly behaved(&typical kids too)&would fiddle&amuse themselves with those gorgeous centrepieces..i would never risk it/expect it not to be irresistable for young hands but thats just my mates kids...Reckon my mates would get pretty sick of safeguarding the water/glass too!

Original poster

Cupcakecafe · 06/07/2018 10:29

Kids will all be sat with adults, no kids table with just them.
Planning on giving them little "activity packs" with like colouring books and pencils so hopefully that gives them something to do.
It's a late afternoon wedding so not as long sitting around as it wouldve been if it was 10am for example.

I was talking to my moh about it and she agrees with me. Said where do you draw the line? No water in case they spill it, no glass in case they break it, no candles in case they knock them over because of fire risk etc.
Ugh i just hope they behave ok and their parents tell them no.

OP posts:

NotTakenUsername · 06/07/2018 10:33

YANBU in principle, but I learned at my wedding there is a spectrum of parenting and also of people (adults) who know how to behave appropriately at different occasions.

So I wouldn’t risk it. StbDh and stbmil know half of your guests much more than you do. If they have reservations about these centre pieces that is probably not based on nothing.

In short, the children should be old enough to be told, but should won’t be much compensation when the table and well dressed guests are covered in waxy flower water. And should won’t protect you from the

comedycentral · 06/07/2018 10:34

They should be fine at that age. I always have vases and stuff on our normal table at home and even my 2 year old has not managed to knock it over yet!

It depends on the parents though, if they are like neddle then you might end up with all sorts floating in there.

tabulahrasa · 06/07/2018 10:34

I can’t see why a 6 and 10 year old would be knocking them over?...

Me 3 drinks in mind, that I can see being messy, lol

NotTakenUsername · 06/07/2018 10:36

On closer look they are quite tall and narrow aren’t they? I’m not sure they are a great idea at all, unless it is a dry and extremely reserved group of guests. A knocked table might be enough to set them off?

Loonoon · 06/07/2018 10:38

They are lovely, I can see why you are so keen on them.

I think it’s unlikely they will knock them over and if they did it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Someone would pick them up, clear up the mess and the wedding would continue. They don’t pose any more of a risk that a wine glass or china coffee cup.

2beesornot2beesthatisthehoney · 06/07/2018 10:39

Neddle
^Depends on the kids really.
We went to a wedding last month and got bored waiting between courses. We ended up throwing crayons into the glass fish bowl in the middle of the table as a game. Noticed later on that it had a crack in it.^

Are you a child of 6?
OP as long as Neddle isn’t invited you should be fine

cakecakecheese · 06/07/2018 10:42

Have your fiancé and future MIL suggested any suitable alternatives?

Zaphodsotherhead · 06/07/2018 10:43

The vases are stuck down with tape? Should be fine. Like a PP said, there will be drinks glasses and bottles and all sorts of other things around and far more mobile.

And why should you compromise what you want for your wedding just because someone might be a bit daft or clumsy? If that was the case, nobody would wear white, have any decorations or wear heels, would they?

SoupDragon · 06/07/2018 10:47

Unless the tables are small or the children are climbing in them, surely they can’t get at them to knock them over?

SoupDragon · 06/07/2018 10:47

Probably best remove the cutlery too and provide everyone with blunt kiddie cutlery!

Shakirasma · 06/07/2018 10:51

Kids are the least of yor worries.

I was at a wedding recently where some so called adults decided to entertain their bored kids by playing noughts and crosses with them.

On the tablecloth.

Using a black permanent marker

Haudyerwheesht · 06/07/2018 10:52

My kids are those ages. They wouldn’t touch them.

Original poster

Cupcakecafe · 06/07/2018 10:52

cake not really. Stbdh has said something with a lower centre of gravity like these but I just don't like them the same . He also has said centrepieces are completely my choice though.

zaphod that's my issue, I've looked at so many options and I'm constantly going back to those. The lower level of water and tape are my suggestions to minimise the risk.

I wonder if you could get something that would change the water to a gel without affecting the colour? Then it wouldn't spill. Any ideas anyone?

OP posts:

KurriKurri · 06/07/2018 10:53

My DS and DDIL had big jar filled with glitter and sparkly things, stars etc etc on their wedding tables, lots of kids there, all under ten some under 6 - no problems at all. I think your vases will be fine.

Clubcuts · 06/07/2018 10:53

Kids will be fine and I love your choice!

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