To think they're old enough to be told no?

[Cupcakecafe]

I'm getting married soon and having centrepieces similar to these.

There will be a few kids at the wedding, mostly aged 6 and one 10 year old. Stbdh thinks that the kids would knock over the centrepieces and get water everywhere and break the glasses.
I think at 6 and 10 they are old enough to be told to not climb on tables and pull things. I understand they may accidentally bump tables, but I'm not having the water to the top of the vase and the vases will be stuck onto the mirror plates with tape so a snall bump should be ok.
Stbdh still thinks that the children will still mess around and knock over vases and break them. Stbmil agrees and thinks iabu to think that they are old enough to be told to behave themselves.

So aibu to think they are plenty old enough to be told no and understand that?

soup they are relatively large tables, the kids would literally have to climb on the table to reach them. However stbdh is worried they actually will do that. Surely at 6 they will know better than to climb on the table and their parents will stop them if they do?!

Mine are 4 and 3 and wouldn’t even need to be told. They know how to behave themselves at the table.

I think your choice looks lovely, but wonder whether they might make it difficult for people to talk across the table.. i know I'm biased, as i chose the ones in the second picture for my tables, and have something similar for the dining table now. Sigh.

You’re overthinking this, just relax, you cant plan for everything that could go wrong.

I had glass and lit candles as part of my centre pieces and children from 0-10 and they didn't touch them. Great idea for activity packs we had them and the kids loved them

I went to a work party with a set up similar to that - lots of milling, women in high heels who are not used to it, bags swinging around - someone bumped the table and it broke and took AGES to clear up and reset the table from scratch, move all the broken glass, mop up the water, while we stood round like chumps.
I wouldn't worry about the kids so much but plastic vases or wider ones would be less topplesome!

I really don't think this is any more of an issue than drinks, and nobody would suggest banning drinks at a wedding.

Go for it. It will be fine.

My kids wouldn't have knocked them over or messed about even when they were toddlers! We even had ornaments in the home where the kids were raised. Vases of flowers, lit candles... everything. Haven't had anything broken or knocked over yet and we're a completely normal everyday family. My cat however....

Shouldn’t be a problem. ( beautiful centrepieces by the way). It’d be more likely drunk adults knocking them over- usually worse behaved than any kids. I had candelabras at mine ( October wedding) and some of our guests ( adult) had to be told to please stop setting things on fire.

I hate to say it but my 8 year old would be no problem, nor would he have been at 6, but my 10 year old might well accidentally knock something like that over. He's not poorly behaved and I would be hissing at him to be careful but he's shot up six inches in as many months (it seems) and suddenly become incredibly clumsy. He can fall over a crisp packet on a good day. My sister says her son was the same pre-teen.

I'd go ahead anyway - parents are there, and as others have said, after a few glasses of wine there's just as much chance of an adult tapping one over.

I'm a nursery nurse, mum, nana, ex childminder, ex foster carer, and the idea that kids might knock them over would not have entered my head! I have one of those on my coffee table, I wouldn't bother moving it if my small grandchildren visited.

It will depend on how responsible their parents are. A 6 year old ought not to be climbing on tables. And their parents should be making sure they don't.

I'd be more concerned about drunken adults.

Sadly I think it depends on the kids. My niece and nephew are always crawling around under the table or jumping on the chairs at dinner time - they're 6 and 8. The first time I saw it I was really shocked and fully expected their parents to give them an earful, but they just ignored it completely. They're really nice kids, but absolutely zero table manners. Could you use something instead of water? Like sea glass, or sand, or throw a bunch of gelletin in the water so it sets like jelly (those may be insane suggestions, I'm just thinking off the top of my head haha)

Has he ever met a 10 or 6 yo before? The behaviour he is suggesting is more what I would expect of a badly controlled toddler

I wouldn't be worried about the kids - more adults who may have over indulged bumping into the tables or deciding they want a closer look at the decorations!!

Old enough to be told no? Most definitely! Old enough that being told should not be necessary? In the absence of SN absolutely.

Would they need to be told/told if necessary? Depends on the parents...which is why my wedding had no under 12's invited.

If you like them then you should get them.

Most (if any) children won't be climbing onto the tables and if they are far enough back the centrepieces should be okay.

As a previous poster said, things like growth spurts can make a child more clumsy for a time but you're going to have to allow for genuine accidents, including adults spilling drinks.

At my wedding half the guests left clutching centrepieces from our tables, so be prepared for that too.

Very pretty centerpieces.

It wouldn't even have entered my head that my 5yo and 3yo would knock those over at a wedding. They know not to climb on tables and if they tried they would be instantly and firmly told to stop! They are not what I would describe as "well-behaved children" either

I think those centrepieces are beautiful. Definitely do the tape thing, and yes I'm sure you can get stuff that turns liquid into gel which would help. www.amazon.co.uk/Slush-Powder-grams-Murphys-Magic/dp/B00CEVROCU/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=slush+powder&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1530872778&sr=8-1 try that?

Okay I know this will be your big day (congrats!) and you want everything to be perfect but honestly, no one but you will know or care about the difference between the centrepiece of your choice and the alternative you posted a little later. I can barely remember what I had on my tables let alone at anyone else's wedding, my head was all of a swirl on the day, the main thing I remember about the day is feeling very happy Even in the photos the main focus of people's attention will be you and your guests.

Go with what will make you feel most relaxed and worry-free on the day. If that means a slightly different design then so be it.

I wouldn't expect kids to climb on the table (well, OK, I know one kid who might, but her mum/relatives would be on her as she's a known monkey)

If you grouped them close rather than spacing them out I think they would still look right, but then they have the wider base people are talking about - perhaps even taping/ribboning them together so they stay as a unit of 3.

But yes, given all the other glassware that's going to be present, I don't see them as being significantly worse, and I'd be more worried about drunk adults than the 6 year olds too,

Oh I did have one thought - how tall are they, it's a personal foible, but I really don't like centrepieces that are so tall I can't see the person opposite. I always end up moving them out the way. They don't look to bad though - no worse than a wine bottle.

Kids won’t knock them over by climbing on the table. I’d put a bit of clear double sided tape on the undersides of the tall vases though to stop them going over if the table is knocked, by children or adults.

DH is a wedding photographer at a recent wedding they had similar and lots of kids attending from ages 3months to 14. I can report that no centre pieces were damaged or even knocked over.

I've been to lots of weddings with lots of DCs and there has never been a centrepiece incident.
However, I think a PP might have a point - that your STBDH and STBDMIL actually know the child guests from their side of the family so may have a better idea about behaviour standards.

The first one is what I was getting at, flowers stood in pebbles or something instead of water. I personally love vases filled with odd things like fruit or nuts but they might not "fit" with the style of your wedding.

You should definitely do the third one with the fish though. It didn't solve your water problem at all but would look awesome!