To think they're old enough to be told no?

[Cupcakecafe]

I'm getting married soon and having centrepieces similar to these.

There will be a few kids at the wedding, mostly aged 6 and one 10 year old. Stbdh thinks that the kids would knock over the centrepieces and get water everywhere and break the glasses.
I think at 6 and 10 they are old enough to be told to not climb on tables and pull things. I understand they may accidentally bump tables, but I'm not having the water to the top of the vase and the vases will be stuck onto the mirror plates with tape so a snall bump should be ok.
Stbdh still thinks that the children will still mess around and knock over vases and break them. Stbmil agrees and thinks iabu to think that they are old enough to be told to behave themselves.

So aibu to think they are plenty old enough to be told no and understand that?

kids will be fine, I’d worry more about drunken adults!

Well I'd the kids are that unruly I'm guessing glasses/bottles of drinks and plates of hot food (they might burn themselves) will also be banned

We had crystal decanters as our centrepieces with fresh flowers on top, stuck down but still fragile. We had kids as young as 2 sitting at the tables and it was absolutely fine, no incidents whatsoever. I wouldn't worry about it. In fact it never even occurred to me that it might be an issue

I totally agree that children of 6 and 10 are old enough to be told no. The issue is more with the parents I think, would they actually say no? In my experience badly behaved children (and yes this is a very broad generalisation and does not include children with any special needs or going through emotional trauma etc. etc. and yes I am prepared to be flamed) are usually down to poor parenting. However I think your centrepieces would be absolutely fine unless the tables were actually climbed on, in which case I think you would have a far bigger problem than just the centrepieces. Very pretty - enjoy your day.

Ah ok I was concerned you were getting the massively unhelpful thing where you were told your choice was a bad idea but weren't offered anything as a solution. As you get final say go with what you want. Who would be assembling them for you? If it's a third party who has experience with such things then they might have solutions for making them less easy to cause a mess were there to be a knocking over incident.

cake he didn't actually specify them he said "something with a lower centre of gravity" so I said like a fish bowl? and then had a look online and saw them.

The kids are equally my side and his, and I know the children on my side wouldn't even need to be told as they are very well behaved and wouldn't dream of grabbing at things on tables.

When I said to stbmil about them being old enough to know better her response was that I clearly hadn't spent much time around kids .
I've spent plenty of time around kids because I have lots of friends with kids, and nieces and nephews. They just happen to be well behaved and know what is/ isn't appropriate behaviour.

You’re starting to sound a bit stealth boast, op.

Your side of the family will be no bother... well your stbmil has clearly told you the children on her side may well cause a problem. She is clearly telling you this in advance.

Not sure why you are resisting listening on this - pick your battles.

Depends on the parents
If it was sil kids ( 7 and 10) then they wouldn’t be told no because “ it upsets them”

I have a... Spirited 3 year old and even he would be fine, in the fairly unlikely case he'd get too touchy feely he'd be stopped.

nottaken
Not a 'stealth boast' just genuinely that the kids I know are well behaved so wouldn't try and play with table centrepieces. And if they did, their parents would stop them. Which by reading the replies here isn't out of the norm at all.

I just wanted to know if the behaviour of the kids i know is unusual and i should expect the kids to probably knock the centrepieces over and break them.
Based on the kids i know it wouldn't be an issue at all but stbdh and stbmil seem to think it would be an issue, and would be an issue with the vast majority of kids.

Your dh and mil are barking, 6 and 10 years do not climb on tables ffs.

That said, I had the fish bowl ones as you have above and you asked if you can get a gel instead of water, yes you can, I filled mine with gel crystsl balls, you buy they in small bottles and soak them for 48 hours, they are lovely. I put a coloured light in the end of each vase and the crystals caught the light, they were lovely, not expensive either

I would expect NT children that age would be fine with it. Mine on the other hand would be trying to drink it.

It's a wedding, something will be knocked over/spilled - it probably won't be by the dc.
The flower vases are lovely but not that attractive to children imho, floating candles or fish would be more of a novelty but I wouldn't expect a child of 6 or 10 to climb on the table to get them but would expect a doting adult to pass the bowl/vase so said child could see the fish/candle Flowers will probably be ignored.
Dgs1 (4) would not dream of climbing on the table or messing with the centrepieces, dg2 (15 months) climbs everywhere and would be strapped in and watched like a hawk.

My 5 year old might struggle - not through misbehaviour but through her poor coordination and spatial awareness (she has fairly severe dyspraxia). I just know that her ability to knock over things that we've viewed as never being likely to be knocked over is formidable.

Could you actually just superglue the glasses down on a plate or something on the tables with kids?

Accidents happen, and that doesn't bother me at all. If something is broken or spilled by accident, it happens and no harm done.

It's the idea that we have to choose specific things because of children misbehaving that I don't like. If it was suggested to change because of possible accidents it's fine. I just think it's wrong to assume (no sn) 6 and 10 year olds wouldn't know not to climb on tables or wouldn't respond to being told no.

Its just a bit weird to me because me and my siblings werent allowed to run around tables or climb on them, and no children I know (over the age of 2 at least) would do it either.

My three year olds managed to not rampage around and destroy anything at our wedding so I think you’re fine.

Nordic superglue might be a good shout actually. And you can get superglue dissolver stuff to remove it after can't you.

Might be worth thinking of non slip matting under the centre piece bits as an alternative - you get like a roll of it and can cut it and it's really good stuff - I'd be worried that mirror tile would slip about on the table cloth and it would stop that (I use it under things like DD2's plates and cups to try to reduce spillages - it's called Dycem and I get it off Amazon).

I wouldn't say yabu to expect children that age to behave but it does depend on the children (and parents).

I went out for a meal with some friends last weekend and there was a group of children running everywhere, they must've been about 7 I would say. The parents did shout once or twice about staying in the play area but the children completely ignored them and carried on running around our table screaming when we were trying to eat.

I hope you’ll be having an armed guard by the cake table also.

Seriously, they will be fine-i’ve worked loads of weddings with younger kids crawling under tables etc and never seen a centrepiece (even way more unstable ones!) come to grief.

Bit of a tangent but I was in The Works yesterday and theyhad little wooden snakes and ladders/Ludo/chess etc games and that were only two quid. They’d be good for your activity bags if you can stretch to that. My six year old would be beside himself with a game to play and may be able to prevent himself destroying the decorations

So I assume DH and MIL will be recommending no wine or champagne glasses on any of the tables.... Yeah, didn't think so! Crack on, those centrepieces are lovely!

I have a 3 year old and an 8 year old who wouldn't touch or knock them down. I would be extremely worried about me though I am very clumsy between migraines, fibro and the daily meds I'm on for those