Tell me why 2 children is enough?

[BlueSatsuma]

EVen though I know it is!

I’m almost 40 so it’s a panic thought!

I’ve 2 chronic illnesses and can’t cope with anymore but I LOVE LOVE Babies.

It's socially irresponsible to have more than 2 children.

More than 2 wouldn't fit in our house right now and we can't afford to upsize for a while.

I don't know if I'd like to dilute my attention like that. 2 kids 2 hands. I like sleep. A child per parent

We are very lucky to have two lovely healthy DCs and was also lucky to have two quite straightforward pregnancies and births and very grateful for it all - and I don't know if I want to push it and go for another.

I'm happy and grateful for what we have.

Can you afford another? Will you be stretched? What’s the career like? Financially sound? House big enough?

University fees £9000 a year! Don’t want to be paying that when you are 60

Because one is one. Two is double one. And three is triple two.

I mean sleep wins every time doesn't it. My dds are 15 and 9. I can go places now without chasing a toddler. And I can SLEEP ! Those are my main to reasons plus I'm planning some great holidays in the not to distant future that I definitely couldn't do with babies and little ones !

I have three (had twins second). It’s a nightmare. Don’t do it.

I really wanted a third but my pregnancies were difficult and we decided not to. Finances had a part to play as well, kids are expensive!

I have 2, aged 11 & 14. I just about manage to work, have a social life and juggle everything without any outside help

I don’t want outside help

Couldn’t cope with more

Not a fan of babies, prefer teens!

Mine are 12 and 7. In an ideal world I'd have loved the whole 'big family' cliche. The reality is that our family just works better with two. There's always enough time, energy and effort for each of them. There's always one of us for each of them on days out if they fancy different things. There's always time at the end of every day to tuck the little one in, read him stories and have a chat without worrying that the others will fight/injure themselves/cause havoc. There's time once the little one is in bed to spend with the pre-teen who, at night time, is hilarious and witty and all those lovely things you don't see during the day as there's less time to notice.

For me it's about time. I know it's quality not quantity, but I honestly believe with just two I've spent their childhoods giving them both wherever I can.

I have one child and that's plenty for me.

Expense for one thing. I am not a high earner and if I had another child our quality of life would be shit.

Horrible birth. Having to take a career break as I couldn't afford the ridiculous nursery fees. I'm now divorced and finding holiday childcare while I'm at work is a nightmare. Hated the baby stage.

I love DS with all my heart but I'm never doing it again.

I have 3 and love it but I answer to your question.....

Bigger car - depending on ages car seats just will not fit

House? Bedrooms yes but what about all the STUFF!?!

Nappies again

3 kids being ill at same time and pass to parents..... just had a week of this! Toddling children are just germ spreaders!

More years juggling school, nursery, work etc unless you are sahm or have a nanny and as a sahm Mum i think it depends on the age of your older children. If both at school them I think it’s different to me.

Different holidays - I was all set to start “fun adventure ones” and now it’s back to basics - let not talk about the £££

Can’t enjoy this lovely summer sun - 12mth old won’t stay in shade, walls round garden eating stones, has learned to climb up the slide....

The fun food journey at 6months is just a hassle as it’s was good just saying ok fish fingers , pizza etc sometimes and now it’s back to thinking about what the baby needs ;-)

Mat leave #3 is just an endless School drop off / pick up or activities for others not sure when I did an actual baby thing or had a regular meet up / coffee because life just happens. I love my babies but wow certainly not mat leave #1

Older children’s toys are just dangerous! Lego, marbles etc. I am constantly assessing and on the lookout.

However I love them all so much and life is fab.

But I now totally understand why 2 is enough for some (most!)

Oh and I roughly calculated that full time nursery, after school and some holiday care would be £36k

I was 36 when had 3rd and note you say you have a chronic illness.

Well I had a low risk pregnancy and birth am for and healthy but my body was just broken!

I hate babies but I want more children.
If you like babies maybe you could get a job working with babies.

Everything is made perfect for four, such as: family rooms in hotels, no need for a bigger Car, holidays and three bed houses. This is what I keep telling myself lol

Don't let the mention of having to pay tuition fees of £9,000 (it's actually £9,250 now) put you off. Martin Lewis will be on to you forthwith! There are things called loans - in for a penny, in for £9,250 x 3 plus maintenance loans, I say.

Three is lovely. Nothing strange about three. No-one gets left out any more than if there were two. If I'm being socially irresponsible, I have quite a number of friends with no kids, so I'm happy to take on their quota.

Don't do it if you like babies get a couple of guinea pigs

Idontbelieveinthemoon, honestly I thought like you do before I had 4. And now I can see how surprising it is that you can find that time to give each one time alone, a story alone and chat properly. I guess it comes out of somewhere so you do lose time to watch TV or tidy better or make a phone call but it’s surprising how you stretch to fit the children you have.

@BlueSatsuma - because cute babies grow into stroppy, messy teenagers with attitude?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius - yes cute babies grow into teenagers, but they don't necessarily have to have attitude. It might just be teenagers with big shoes, a large appetite and lots of washing they've just brought back from uni.

True, @Hillarious - to be fair, I have had both varieties. And the one with attitude did grow out of it, and turned into the big shoes/lots of washing from Uni sort.

Plus - tall teenagers are useful if you need things from high shelves (although you do have to put up with being patted patronisingly on the head, when you ask).

I had twins second time round. I met quite a few people, who had twins or triplets! Going from two to four, never mind five is quite a shock!

Three children is 50% more work than two in terms of clothes buying, laundry, ironing, homework...

As pp have said, it makes food buying, holidays and cars more expensive!

Finally, twos company threes a crowd. Our eldest’s tactic was divide and conquer! He would pick one of the twins as his ally, and then they would pick on the other and shut them out! After a few days, he swapped over and sided with the other one! There was one in tears every holiday and day out for years!

Ugh, I don't like babies at all. I already see my two children as the adults I want them to become. I want to help them and support them to realize their potential. More babies would mean less for them. Less time, less money, more stress, fewer luxuries. So we have stopped.

After nearly 7 years of two children where only 18 months separates them, DH and I are looking forward to the next stage.

Cars - even if you can just about fit three across the back (rare), you wouldn't have room for all their stuff in the boot.

Holidays - more than four people and the costs rocket

Bedrooms - mine are happy sharing but we've not hit teenage years yet..

General costs - I am FOREVER shelling out on new shoes, clothes, school dinner money, activities, presents. There's really not many savings to be had from passing stuff down.

Time - I wish I had more time for each of my DC. Depends on your situation (I work school hours and DH works v long hours) but they'll all want to do different activities in different places at different times, so the logistics can be very difficult and I have pretty much sacrificed my own life (no hobbies, rarely go out) to be there for them when not at work.

There are many upsides too, of course, and I love all of mine dearly and couldn't imagine being without them but you didn't ask to hear about that side!