to not carry DC's and their mate's bookbags?

[VikingBlonde]

Had a few kids coming home with us for playdates recently and I flatly refuse to carry anyone's bag. It's caused some upset from them and one of their mums commented on my 'tough love' attitude...

My kids love an effing huge Smiggle backpack filled with god knows what toot but I make them cart it back and forth. They want it, they carry it is my rule. The kids that come keep just HANDING me their bags as they exit the school and one huffed all the way home whining that it's SOOOO FAR and MY BAG IS SOOOO HEAVY and YOUR MAMA IS MEAN (that one demanded the WiFi code as soon as she got in)

It's a 10 minute walk max. With a backpack or a book bag. my DC's/their mates are 7 &9 I'm not a bloody mule... AIBU? What does everyone else do?

Their Mum got involved?

Mine carry their own unless they have something very heavy in it. Their homework doesn't weigh much and if they can't be bothered to clean it out after being told to then I'm not going to put their rubbish around for them.

Lug their rubbish around, not put.

@Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar i know! When she came to pick them up her precious moppet said in a sulky voice "W's mum made me carry my OWN bag!!" (my DD carried his effing Clarinet for him) and she said then. "Ooo tough love" but I wasn't sure if she was joking or not lol

Some playdates leave you reeling innit.

@PerryPerry i like your thinking! x

Oh goodness, I make my four year old carry her bag if she wants to bring it.
YANBU

I too am not a mule. Mine carry their own back packs. I might hang the 5 year olds book bag on the pushchair but that is simply because she swings it and it hits me in the legs. Often.

I will carry the 10 year olds guitar but she also carries her regular back pack and her pe and swim kit on that day, she's not an octopus so I figure I can do her a favour

Mine is six and carries his own -- half the time what's making it heavier than need be is his World Cup sticker album or Pokémon cards or something. I remain baffled by the mule parents who willingly load up under several children's bags on pick-up.

If that's 'tough love', then God help us all.

The children should all carry their own bags, I just laugh if one asked me to carry it. Obviously its different if someone is very disabled and cant manage.Then I would.
If they dont like it then go home.

If I have the pushchair I'll put the bags on the back as it makes no difference to me, but I agree that if there's no pushchair I'm not carrying their bags... from September there will be no pushchair at all so he will have to get used to it!!

Ah "Oooh tough love" sounds sarcastic, like "Oooh diddums" or similar to the child, definitely not "getting involved" like it sounded in your op

Yanbu about them carrying their own stuff though

I carry my primary aged kids bookbags, DD1 is 22 has since always managed to carry her own things without problem and will help her little siblings.
I dont see the harm in it, their little and have been all school or day but its your choice and I wouldnt expect you to carry my kids stuff.

I tend to share it out so if my dc have bookbags, instruments, lunchbags and pe kit, which they do some days, I’ll carry some of them. We do have quite a long walk home though. I’d help their friends out too if they had a lot to carry but 1 bag each they could carry themselves!

Mines 2 and he loves dragging his little backpack round the house so he can grab his sun cream at any moment 😂.

Make em carry it themselves. They can't need that much junk for primary school... can they? Pencil case with every coloured crayon imaginable, couple of sheets of homework, or an excercise book, reading book and possible p.e kit?

It is a good thing for them to carry their own bag, I know a mum in particular who is still carrying all the bags -and instruments and water bottles- around at year 6 (surprise, these are not the only mollycoddling behaviours in that family) and then they wonder why they're such whiny spoilt brats.

I’ve found the opposite that my kids will help each other out with carrying things and carry shopping bags for me when I have a lot because they’ve been taught to help.

I’ve had this. DD carries her bag unless it contains something unusually heavy. Her mate, who I sometimes pick up, tries to chuck her bag at me at pick up. I always say no, she even chucked it at me once and I side stepped to let it hit the floor. There’s no please or thank you either.

She’s recently understood the score so no longer tries to treat me like a mule but I heard her DM complaining about having to carry the bags of several kids include my own DDs home in the heat! DD wouldn’t try it with me but she’s clearly taken the other mum for a mug. I’ve told DD not to give her bag to the other mum but I guess if she sees the mum being mugged off by everyone else she’s eventually going to get her to carry hers again too.

No lugging here. Blimey It's a life lesson in learning to be organised and responsible for your own stuff!
Will they be trotting alongside their darlings for Duke of Edinburgh awards or Glasto?

i carry my 9 and 8 year old DDs bags and lunch boxes to and from school. They say thank you though. I would also carry their friends. But not if theyre rude like your DDs friend was! I would also not be giving wifi codes. I tend to say "do you want me to carry your bag?" rather than them just throwing them at me.

This sounds like such a tiny issue I can't believe any of the people involved (especially the other mum) are still discussing it. Unless you made a really big deal about it or were really harsh in the way you said no it's no big deal.

I carry my 5 year olds bag at the moment, he's tired after school & it's no hardship for now.

My 7 & 9 year old carry their own, i'll see how the youngest gets on in Sept.

When we go out to the beach/park they all carry their own small rucksacks though.

Totally agree - when my DD tries to give me her bag, I just put it on the floor and walk off.

I think the parents who never carry anything are a bit stingy tbh.
My 7 and 6 year olds generally carry their own stuff to school but after school they like to have a last run around with their friends so I carry their bags.
I have an 18 and a 13 year old who were lucky enough to nearly always have a sibling in a buggy they could dump their stuff on. Funnily enough I'm not still following them around carrying their luggage and both are always happy to help me carry shopping.

Agreed with @Returnofthesmileybar that it sounds like she was basically saying "tough luck" or "too bad" to the child and not siding with them. If she didn't comment to you I wouldn't worry about it.

Big No from me too - not from day 1 - their school bag and their tut, they carry it. But yes had other children thrusting things at me and my response has always been "yes its a bag - it goes at the end of your arm/on your back"

My rule - you carry your own bag or you don’t take it to school. Why would any parent carry the bag unless there is a medical reason?