To wonder what the hell this is and how it got here?

[Bridgeofpies]

Posting here for traffic. Just had a very weird thing happen and neither DH nor I can fathom what has happened:

Just went up to our en suite bathroom and noticed a blue-black blob in the sink. It looked a bit like someone had half eaten a blackcurrant and spat it out so I thought it was just the kids. Or maybe even a bird poo of some sort. There is a sky light window above the sink so this was kind of conceivable. But then I thought about it and the kids haven’t been eating berries.

Then I looked over at the bath and there were two splodges of what looks like black ink in the bath. Nothing anywhere else. The ceiling above the bath is clean. The shower is at the other end of the bath and not leaking black stuff.

I called DH and he said it hadn’t been there when he brushed DD’s teeth a couple of hours ago - and no one has been in that room since then!

In the interest of science I stuck a cotton bud in it and it was quite liquid, didn’t really have a smell.

What the hell can it be? Pictures attached - I had rinsed the one in the sink before I thought about it but it had more of what looked like a lump in it. Or a more concentrated patch.

I’m sure there is some sort of mundane explanation but at the moment we can’t think what it is! If something sprayed in the window it would have been a very impressive trajectory through the velux window and even if so - what the hell was it outside?

Pic of the bath splatters and the window which is about a meter away from the bath!

Sniff it and taste it

Food colouring?

I think a bird flew in and out

I love how PPs have gone from 'definitely bird poo' to 'taste it'

If you are tasting it I sincerely hope its not poo (although that would be amusing).

Also thanks, I had no idea bees could poo before this thread. Bee dysentery is apparently a thing. You learn something new every day.

Would bird poo not have more white (urates) in it?

I think it's insect poo.

I get those Dady long leg spiders in my bathroom, they hang about up on the ceiling catching whatever, then crap.
If you have some lurking around the skylight this maybe what it is,
If the crap lands on a wet surface it could expand and look bigger.
Check for spiders and report back.

Those poor bees!

After a lot of interesting google image searches I came across this, looks similar. Spider poop!

www.ispotnature.org/communities/uk-and-ireland/view/observation/76236/insect-droppings

Now you see I thought that Bloo but I have those very shitting spiders in my house, mostly they like to poo onto white surfaces as well - uPCV double glazing big favourite but that is sticky immediately, its never liquid and once on, you'd have to remove it with a blowtorch and caustic soda, not a cotton bud.

Also the circles it makes are a couple of millimetres, not as big as a 10p piece - unless the spider's sized up accordingly !!!

Well- based on the size, i would hope its really really not a spider turd. Hoping its a birds berry poop!

I've got similar on my garden table, it's bird berry poo. I expect it panicked a bit trying to get out.

Holy shit I am going to have nightmares about giant spiders doing giant shits now

Wow! I have learnt so much about insect defication tonight! Who knew?!

That’s it - I have nothing to add that is actually helpful... 😁

*defecation 🙄

just a thought www.reddit.com/r/whatisthisthing/comments/43eblo/what_is_this_black_substance_forming_on_the/

Tho I love the Bee Diarrhea

This came up while Googling, Thought it was cute

Bat poo? But that's quite ammonia smelling I think

Bird poo or some ceiling material melting?
Taste it op

Well after a fairly restless night (when I went to the loo I was slightly scared that the bath would be full of horror-film-worthy black liquid and / or some enormous spider with a bad case of noro virus would be squatting over me) I am no closer to figuring out what it was.

It doesn’t really have a strong smell. I’m definitely not going to taste it! DH and I have had a shower so it’s veen washed away (although I still have the cotton bud I poked in it - in a bin but still in the house).

I think bird poo most likely explanation but it still doesn’t look quite right (so black) and doesn’t explain how a bird was able to shot sideways through a velux window to a distance of around 1.5 meters without making more of a mess....

Shit not shot!

And I don’t think it came from the taps or shower as it wasn’t under either of them and there was nothing at all under the shower or taps.

I’m voting bird poo too. Went on a hike yesterday and saw quite a few blue/blue black bird poos

Have you got a bird table in the garden ?.
I used to have one but found that after eating the food I put on it the birds would then crap all overt the washing I had hanging on the line.
Enough food, enough birds, plenty of crap, and they can do it in flight.
Remember the Dam Busters and the bouncing bombs, you may have bouncing crap aimed by the birds at the gap in the skylight while in flight.
Ps, I got rid of the bird table.

I was slightly scared that the bath would be full of horror-film-worthy black liquid and / or some enormous spider with a bad case of noro virus would be squatting over me
Sorry- but that had me chuckling, and feeling a bit sorry for the skittering spider- really though, it is much more likely that a bird with a fondness of berries hopped in, settled in the bath for a poop, and left a few spatters in the sink out of fright whilst trying to get back out

I reckon it's one ginormous spider hairy mutha that's had a nasty dose of diarrhoea.

Sorry OP