Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Holiday with dh, and leave dc’s at home?

54 replies

Bluecube1 · 03/07/2018 21:35

Quick summary, it’s been a tough few years. My mum critically ill twice. Dealing with grandmother having Alzheimer’s and moving to residential care. Estranged father passing away. Business closing as main client defaulted on payments. All of this meant moving back home, 2 hours away and uprooting kids schooling. Whilst lurching from one crisis to another I’ve had no real time with dh when I haven’t been stressed or preoccupied. Wibu to book us a week away to reconnect?

OP posts:

Pippa12 · 03/07/2018 21:53

My dh and i went away to france for 4 nights in april. It was glorious and we have been in a great place since. I was surprised at how much I initially struggled without the children but once id got into the swing of it i enjoyed every second. I'd 100% recommended it, but i would seriously consider if a week is the right length of time. My children are young tho, might not be an issue for you

BoxsetsAndPopcorn · 03/07/2018 22:02

I'd go as a family, the kind DS have gone through changes too and likely would benefit from a break as well. I couldn't leave them behind.

Mar15mite · 04/07/2018 08:06

Maybe a little shorter? 4/5 nights but maybe that's my guilty starting to creep in... Lol

Its soooo important to connect and to have a strong relationship and that does mean having time on your own. You will be a better stronger team for it and that will benefit the kids more than a holiday where their parents still aren't getting proper down/alone time.

I say go for it!!

MakeMineALarge1 · 04/07/2018 08:10

I had the chance to go to Paris a few years ago with my husband, I was lucky as both my mum and MIL were available for help, it was great, I loved it, since then we try to get away once a year, just for the weekend, just us.
Your children will be fine, I think time away with your husband/partner is important on so many levels.

Ubercornsdiscoball · 04/07/2018 08:11

Maybe a long weekend instead? Your children have been through a lot too.

rookiemere · 04/07/2018 08:11

A week is a long time - go for a long weekend , and try to fit in a holiday for the DCs as well

BossPeeBeePee · 04/07/2018 08:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mamadothehump · 04/07/2018 08:12

Not u at all. Go for it. The DC will be well looked after I'm sure

GinUnicorn · 04/07/2018 08:13

I’d say go for it.
Sounds like you need the time. Sorry for all your hardship this year

Hellywelly10 · 04/07/2018 08:19

You do need a break. Who will be having the kids?

BlueBug45 · 04/07/2018 08:22

Not unreasonable.

As long as the children are with a relation they love and like then they will be fine.

PotteringAlong · 04/07/2018 08:23

If I’d uprooted my kids, moved them two hours away from friends and schools and had (completely understandably) had to be away from them so I could deal with family emergencies I think that would make me want a holiday with them more, not less.

HeddaGarbled · 04/07/2018 08:26

Depends:

How are the children coping with all this?
Will they get a holiday too?
Will they be happy and comfortable with whoever you are leaving them with?

wheretoyougonow · 04/07/2018 08:27

I would suggest weekend away with partner and holiday with your children. You need a break and you sound like you would benefit from a bit of fun as a family due to a difficult year

kaytee87 · 04/07/2018 08:28

How old are the children?
Who would they be left with?
How have they coped with all of this?

Watchingthecloudsflyby · 04/07/2018 08:28

Well it depends on how old they are and what the child care options are really.

17 and 18, quite capable of looking after themselves or 3 and 4 with a,family member they barely know who will just shove them in front of telly for a week and fred them crisps?

Yanbu to want some time alone in general though

Alienspaceship · 04/07/2018 08:29

The children have been through this too. Maybe they need time with you too reconnect as you say you have been stressed and preoccupied. Can you have a holiday as a family? And maybe a weekend away as a couple?

BertrandRussell · 04/07/2018 08:29

Usually I'd say yes, go for it. But in these circumstances I think it would just be another stress for the children, who have also gone through a lot.

NataliaOsipova · 04/07/2018 08:31

Honestly? I think it depends on a) how old the kids are, b) who will look after them while you go and c) how the kids will feel about being looked after by whoever that is.

TheMagnoliaTree · 04/07/2018 08:34

How old are the children? Who would they be left with and how comfortable would they be with them?

We left a 2 1/2 year old for 4 days, 2 days with one set of Grandparents then 2 days with the other. They were a constant in his life so he wasn't upset, had regularly slept at their houses anyway. But he was little so doesn't remember it.

I think it would be different for older children. We had a year 5 child complain his parents had swanned off skiing without him

Kit10 · 04/07/2018 08:35

I'm all for parents holidaying together. I don't believe in the concept of "marriage on the back burner" while kids are little, good luck salvaging that marriage 18 years later. We are a couple and a family, we need time alone and as a family. The only thing I'd say is it sounds like they could do with respite too, so if you can afford it I'd prioritise a family holiday and then a break for you guys.

lapenguin · 04/07/2018 08:36

Normally I'd say go for it but I think a week away with DCs seeing as they've been through a lot too, would be best. Or a long weekend just you two and a long weekend with DC?

Blueisland · 04/07/2018 08:40

Go for it! Children don’t ‘need a holiday’. They do need lots of love and stability. As long as they are well cared for and feel secure I don’t see any issue.

Gatehouse77 · 04/07/2018 08:45

Yes, do it. As the saying goes - a change is as good as a rest.

We're not just parents and, personally, I believe all relationships need nurturing at different times and it sounds like yours and your DH would benefit from it.

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/07/2018 08:47

How old are the DC? Who would they be with? What do they need? As long as that's all good:

Fill your boots.

Flip

1 2 3