To think they should just get the bus

[Dillydallyer]

I’ve been driving for a long time. I took my test at 17. In that time I estimate I’ve spent upwards of 40k on cars, 10k on insurance, £3k on MOT’s and services, £2k on tax plus I have no idea how much on repairs, new tyres, petrol etc. Then there was the cost of driving lessons, the theory test, the actual driving test. It adds up to a significant amount.

So AIBU to think that people who choose not to learn to drive (obviously unless of medical conditions etc) should not just assume a driver will give them a lift somewhere unless they are offered?

I work shifts. Many of my colleagues don’t drive so have to get the bus or a taxi. I’ve lost count of how many of them have just assumed I’ll give them a lift home to save them using public transport. If I’ve refused (politely, I might add) they always say they’ll give me what they would have paid in bus/taxi fare. Well that’s all very well but I’m neither a bus nor a taxi. I have given lifts on occasion, and made it clear that it’s not a regular thing, to people where I won’t have to go out of my way to drop off. Certain colleagues, who lives 4-5 miles in the opposite direction, have just assumed therefore that I’ll also take them home and have taken offence when I’ve refused to add an extra 8-10 miles a day onto my journey, especially when this can take an extra half an hour during rush hour. I am always polite and explain my reasons, and don’t need advice on how to say no to them because I’m perfectly able to refuse, but I just can’t believe the cheek of some people. One of them asked me to drive him home in the snow because he ‘didn’t fancy’ walking to the bus stop when my car was parked nearby. He lives up a hill that is well known for being a hazard in bad weather so I didn’t particularly fancy someone running into me and damaging my car/injuring me when it wasn’t even on my route home.

I’m always the first to offer if someone is in desperate need and I would never see someone struggle but it seems that everyone assumes a driver is a taxi!

So AIBU?

I would never ask for a lift anywhere really - only accept if people offer.

I think this sounds quite unusual though for people to be that cheeky! Just keep on saying no.

I agree with Penguin. All the non drivers I know are very reluctant to ask. I offer if I'm going their way anyway but they only ask if they're really desperate and are embarrassed to do so even then

Wouldn't ask. Wouldn't expect it. Just say not insured for whatever or just say no.

I have known people expect lifts

Must just be a lot of cheeky sods where I work!! I also have a friend on Facebook who begs people to take her places, often 10+ miles, in return for cake!! I need to move in different circles, clearly.

My dp is a shift worker too and people often assume he’ll give them a lift at the end of the shift, sometimes not even asking and just jumping in the passenger seat. It gives me (and him) the rage as it delays him getting home and he doesn’t want to make small talk with colleagues in the car.

He put a stop to it recently by just saying no to everyone, after one woman refused to wear a seat belt as she ‘doesn’t believe in them.’

I think refusing to driving someone to a bus stop, in the snow, is a twatty thing to do.

I think it's fine to not want to go out of your way. But dropping people on the way, at bus stops etc, is what everyone that I know would do.

Many people do not choose not to learn to drive, they can't afford to.

YANBU at all!

One of my friends always expects to be driven around even if it's completely out of my way. I started nipping it in the bud after he wanted to meet up for dinner at a restaurant near my house but expected me to drive past the restaurant to pick him up, drive back to the restaurant to eat then drive him home again. I was 38 weeks pregnant!

I don't mind giving lifts if I offer but I think it's incredibly rude when people treat you like some kind of glorified free taxi.

Seeing as a 5 minute car journey can easily take 45 mins on a bus and cost the best part of a fiver I find car drivers who are stingy with lifts quite unreasonable. If you are going massively out of your way then obviously YANBU but life is sooooo much easier with a car and as it has at least 3 other seats it makes sense to use them.

I think I would give a lift to someone if they lived on the same street/block as me, they could just walk. Obviously they'd know where I live then so I'd only do it if I knew them enough. If I had to go out of my way, only the odd once for free of an emergency like severe delays on public transport and they need to pick up child or have app or something. Not just as an expected thing no way.

*walk the distance

Chocolate strawberries, I’m quite happy on a bus, thank you very much. And I’m not showing off about being able to pass my test, driving is basic and, as you say, millions do it. You stick to your bus with the ‘filthy odd people’, it’s not the people willing to get the bus that I have the problem with!

I think refusing to driving someone to a bus stop, in the snow, is a twatty thing to do.

The OP actually said they were asked to drive someone to their house when it was snowing, just because they couldn’t be arsed to walk to the bus stop-that’s a bit different.

I have never actually been asked to drive a non-driver anywhere, but would have no problem saying no. What annoys me is hearing about ‘liftzilla’ type situations, where countless posters bundle onto a thread saying,

‘Well, I can’t drive, but if I could, and if I had a car, I would give x, y and z a lift in the snow, ten miles out of my way, on a motorway which is known for adding 45 minutes to my journey and think you’re mean and horrid for making them use public transport!’

" In that time I estimate I’ve spent upwards of 40k on cars, 10k on insurance, £3k on MOT’s and services, £2k on tax plus I have no idea how much on repairs, new tyres, petrol etc. Then there was the cost of driving lessons, the theory test, the actual driving test. It adds up to a significant amount"

So you've spent all that money on driving but still can't understand why someone else might not be able to drive?

But no, I don't think drivers should feel under any obligation to give anyone a lift.

Birdsgottafly, if you read my post I said he wanted a lift HOME. I would have happily dropped him at the bus stop. I just didn’t want to risk damage to my vehicle by driving on a notoriously bad road in snow. But, even if I had refused to take him to the bus stop, if he’d learnt to drive and got a car he wouldn’t have had to walk to the bus stop in the snow in the first place

I think non drivers do underestimate the 'cost' of driving to be just the time they are sat in the car and the petrol. They don't factor in the whole detour, the fact you have to concentrate on the road and its stressful/tiring and the other costs like insurance, tax, wear and tear

however a lot of the time it makes no difference as you are going that way anyway so its like a minute out of your life, or they are your friend and friends help each other out.

OP I think you must just work with some incredibly cheeky people!

I’m only learning to drive now at 32 because I was in an accident as a passenger at 17 and was too nervous to get behind the wheel. I would never ever expect lifts from people though and often refuse if offered out of embarrassment (always felt a bit useless I hadn’t mastered and was scared of something that millions of people around the world do evert day)...so would walk/bus even in bad weather, with the kids in tow etc.

It does annoy me when some people who have driven for years think all non drivers and those not wanting to learn are lazy though...some people have real issues with overcoming anxiety about driving. Doesn’t excuse cheekiness and expecting lifts though that’s an entirely different thing!

YANBU.

I don't drive, and I never expect lifts from anyone- I am perfectly capable of making my way to and from most places without a car, by walking, cycling, or getting a bus or train. If necessary, I get a taxi (this is rare).

I sometimes give a work mate a lift who lives in the street next to mine, and I'll beep and pick him up on the way if I see him walking. Somehow this translates to my being willing to give lifts to any colleague that lives 10 miles in the opposite direction. Erm. No.

No you’re not being unreasonable. Why would you want to drop someone home in the opposite direction of where you live? At the end of the working day, you just want to go home!

I passed my test less than a week ago and I'm eagerly awaiting the chance to give someone a lift. I fully expect the novelty to have worn off by the end of the month though!
As a non-driver I always planned for having to use public transport or walk, I'd never have relied on (or asked for) lifts. I can see how a nice comfy car ride would be more appealing than public transport, but I still wouldn't ever have asked, much less assumed.

I used to get this all the time as an agency carer. Theyd often pair the non drivers with drivers which is fine once you're on shift but they'd sign Up for bank Holidays where no buses were running and then I'd be asked to pick them up.
One lady expected lifts all the time so I just started dropping her at the bus stop

YANBU. If people can’t drive because of a genuine medical condition fair enough but if they were just too lazy/tight/thick to learn to drive then they should walk,get the bus or a cab. I can’t abide non driving lift scroungers. Especially those who expect drivers to go out of their way. My SIL is one. Apparently she “ never needed to learn* no because she’s always begging lifts.