Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend keeps coming into my house without knocking

75 replies

iliketosmellcandles · 03/07/2018 17:30

My best friend recently moved back from another country and lives round the corner from me. It's great to have her back, she's like a sister to me, etc. etc.

I'm going through a hard time at the moment and she has been great, popping in and spending time with me, making me tea etc.

However. She has recently started walking into my house without knocking. This is completely unannounced, no prior warning and she often just appears in my hallway, scaring the absolute shit out of me and OH. The cherry on the cake was yesterday when she text asking if I was awake from my nap and can she pop in. I hadn't had a second to reply, when I heard a noise and she appeared at my bedroom door. She must have snuck up the stairs because I didn't hear a thing until I saw her face. Safe to say I jumped out of my skin. I think what I found hard was that she just found this funny, and it almost felt like she didn't really care what I wanted. I had actually wanted to be alone.

I like to think I've got an open door policy, I tell people to drop by whenever they like, but to at least bloody knock on the door or ring the bell!

AIBU to lock my door even when I'm in? I really don't want to, but I can't bare the thought of having to talk to her about it, it just makes me cringe so much. Or is this a nice thing? Am I being over sensitive?

OP posts:
WhatCanIDoNowPlease · 03/07/2018 17:32

Of course lock your outside doors! Even if she knocks you don't have to open the door or even answer it.

user1483387154 · 03/07/2018 17:33

Lock the door

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 03/07/2018 17:33

Are you joking?? Lock your bloody door!

CherryNib · 03/07/2018 17:33

Lock your door. I don't know why you wouldn't do this even without your friend problems!

llangennith · 03/07/2018 17:33

My front door is always shut, so I supposed that means locked, so people have to knock.
I didn’t think anyone left their front door unlocked these days.
YANBU.
It’s rude to just walk in to someone’s home.

TrippingTheVelvet · 03/07/2018 17:33

Lock and say you heard there were local burglaries. Google or look at your local cop shops FB page and there's bound to be one or two recently near you.

pinkwafercustardcream · 03/07/2018 17:34

Why's your door unlocked?

HollowTalk · 03/07/2018 17:34

I don't understand why you don't lock your door. Anyone could've walked in - you were asleep!

But yes of course she should knock - it's really rude not to.

HellenaHandbasket · 03/07/2018 17:35

Everyone I know leaves their doors unlocked, but apart from my parents' house we all knock.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 03/07/2018 17:35

So your friend has shown how easy it is for anyone to sneak into your house and you’re askjng if you should lock your door?!

Next time it might not be your friend.

icelollycraving · 03/07/2018 17:35

Lock your door. If she asks, say that after her coming all the way up to your bedroom you realised anyone could... She will then ask for a key Grin

PotteringAlong · 03/07/2018 17:36

Everyone locks the doors when they’re in don’t they? Because otherwise people walk in unannounced! Basic security! Lock the doors!

ShapelyBingoWing · 03/07/2018 17:38

You had the doors unlocked while you were asleep in bed? Are you batshit crazy??

I'd wait until next time she does it and say "you really need to stop letting yourself in like this, it scares the shit out of me and you're going to give me a heart attack".

Or, you know, lock your door. Most people have their doors locked, even in the day if they're home and awake. And frankly, I'd expect anyone who didn't to be the kind of person who expects guests to just let themselves in.

PrettyWisdomous · 03/07/2018 17:39

Definitely lock the door! A random man walked into my NDNs house last week Shock

Also, your friend seems to have boundary issues. Can you tell her gently that you appreciate her kindness but that it's not OK to show up out of the blue.

FeistyOldBat · 03/07/2018 17:41

Keeping your front door locked is always sensible, but I'd have a word with her first. Just walking in could be the normal thing where she's from; it would be kinder if she's your best friend.

It would spook me too, though.

Pippylou · 03/07/2018 17:42

Defo lock your doors. Neighbours were burgled, guy just let himself in. Police said it was common, quiet street, nice town too.

Angrybird345 · 03/07/2018 17:43

Lock the door you dimwit!

Tonicwaterandgin · 03/07/2018 17:45

YABU for not locking your doors! Very irresponsible, so many burglaries happen this way during the day, if she's snuck in then anyone could.

iliketosmellcandles · 03/07/2018 17:51

I live in the kind of area where it's pretty normal to not lock your door if you're home, but feeling pretty naïve now ConfusedBlush

Great suggestion @TrippingTheVelvet

I just didn't want it to be totally obvious I was locking her out and maybe somehow hurt her feelings, glad the feeling is pretty unanimous!

OP posts:
PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 03/07/2018 17:52

I think you might have to lock the door.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 03/07/2018 17:54

she is nuts, tell her off. How would you all feel if she walks on a you having sex? Completely out of order.

You are nuts too for not locking the door! Please tell us you don't leave your handbag downstairs near the front door too

Leeds2 · 03/07/2018 17:56

Keep your door locked, and do NOT give your friend a key. She will most certainly ask, so be prepared to say no.

Orangecake123 · 03/07/2018 18:00

I was thinking she had a key. not that the front door had been unlocked.Shock

I would keep it locked and also occasionally pretend I wasn't in if I wasn't given a heads up before hand.

ThinkingCat · 03/07/2018 18:07

Where are these places where people don't lock their front doors? (Just amazed - not asking for a burglar friend!)

legolimb · 03/07/2018 18:12

Lock the door.

I am amazed at people who don't. DH is a bugger for not doing so. But his office is upstairs so if anyone let themselves in they could take loads without him even hearing.

I have always kept my doors locked. Too many dodgy folk around. like friends who just come in without permission

Swipe left for the next trending thread