Friend keeps coming into my house without knocking

[iliketosmellcandles]

My best friend recently moved back from another country and lives round the corner from me. It's great to have her back, she's like a sister to me, etc. etc.

I'm going through a hard time at the moment and she has been great, popping in and spending time with me, making me tea etc.

However. She has recently started walking into my house without knocking. This is completely unannounced, no prior warning and she often just appears in my hallway, scaring the absolute shit out of me and OH. The cherry on the cake was yesterday when she text asking if I was awake from my nap and can she pop in. I hadn't had a second to reply, when I heard a noise and she appeared at my bedroom door. She must have snuck up the stairs because I didn't hear a thing until I saw her face. Safe to say I jumped out of my skin. I think what I found hard was that she just found this funny, and it almost felt like she didn't really care what I wanted. I had actually wanted to be alone.

I like to think I've got an open door policy, I tell people to drop by whenever they like, but to at least bloody knock on the door or ring the bell!

AIBU to lock my door even when I'm in? I really don't want to, but I can't bare the thought of having to talk to her about it, it just makes me cringe so much. Or is this a nice thing? Am I being over sensitive?

So your friend has shown how easy it is for anyone to sneak into your house and you’re askjng if you should lock your door?!

This with bells on.

Please tell me you were at least locking your doors at night?

It’s ironic, I used to live on a council estate deemed “rough” and never locked my doors if I was home (during the day). I now live on a “naice” new build estate and they’re never unlocked!

Oh I couldn't be doing with that.
. I mean supposing you were scratching your arse and someone just burst in .

It's OK to turn up out of the blue, provided you're also happy to go away if there's no answer or if you're told the person you're visiting is "busy". OK, I know a lot of people nowadays don't want anyone to knock unless they've phoned for permission beforehand, but I don't think it's inherently rude. What is rude is crossing the threshold uninvited.

Next time she does it, pull a serious Kung fu move on her and get her in a headlock whilst screaming ‘BURGLEEEEEEER’ at the top of your lungs.

When DH hears the commotion, have him shout ‘DONT WORRY, IVE GOT THE MACE!!’

When she questions you, tell her you thought she was a burglar and who the fuck comes into someone else house unannounced?!

I worked for my MIL...

With your tongue firmly in cheek tell her the door is now snibbed because there been a dramatic upturn in home invasion in the neighbourhood.

You must be bat shit to leave your door unlocked wen you are asleep. You are so vulnerable. I live in a nice area. Wouldn’t dream of this especially in this weather it’s s burglars dream.

Tell her you will be locking as if she can get in anyone can.

All 3 of us have joked and said one day she will walk in on us having sex in the living room, so this morning she opened the door and shouted 'hello?! Just want to check you're not shagging!'

EVERYBODY should lock their front doors when they are home.

AIBU to lock my door even when I'm in?

This is normal for pretty much everyone I know anyway, except for my elderly grandma who never locked her back door when she is in.

I lock my doors whenever I am in, every time, and I set the burglar alarm as well at bedtime. This is despite living in a safe area with a very low risk of crime statistically. We have actually been broken into - at home, in bed, luckily alarm did its job and scared them off before they got away with much.

In many places back door thefts are common - people check a door, slip in, grab a key or a purse, and leave. Police usually advice to have external doors locked.

I never lock the door when i am at home. I even leave the back door wide open when i go to shower. My dog lets me know if anyone is around!

Definitely lock your door. She'll soon get the message! How rude!

@myname Brilliant - signing up for Tae Kwon Do now.

Doors are always locked at night - I'm not stupid (

I think it's safe to say I have learnt my lesson and will defo be locking my door always even if home. Maybe she's actually done me a favour. Now to just deal with her other boundary issues .

@prettywisdomous Was your neighbour okay??

My BIL had his phone and his CAR stolen whilst he was in.
Had forgotten to lock the front door and was having a few beers with his mate.

Was ages after they got back that discovered this had happened.
He had left keys and phone in the hall, didn't hear a thing.
Nothing else seemed touched so he didn't think they had taken more than a step or two inside.

Sounds like she has got too invested/dependant on you 'needing' her and there has been a shift in the relationship.

It can be tricky to shift this back.

Crikey, what area is this? Of course you should lock your front door when you’re at home. I can’t believe anyone wouldn’t. Oh actually my parents and grandparents in Ireland didn’t. But then they would’ve fully expected people to walk in with a “hello?” rather than ringing the bell.

Now I’m in merry olde englande I think this is bonkers of course .

I can think of a few burglaries and they have all been in broad daylight, with people just walking straight in.

The one that sticks in my mind is when a guy walked into my elderly neighbours house with a knife and then went round the corner and walked into a second house.

Daylight, door unlocked at both houses. Luckily no one was hurt and my neighbour is amazingly chilled about it. I live in a “naice” area (in a tip of a house).

I always lock my door when I’m home.

I live in the north cotswolds and we never lock our doors (or cars) so I know why op is relaxed as we are the same. Nothing much here to steal apart from dust.

In your case, lock your door. No matter how good a friend she is to you, she is crossing certain boundaries but probably doesn't realise it.

You could also tell her you would prefer she knocked (or called before coming) not unreasonable.

Cant believe it hasnt occured to you to lock the door. Especially when your having a nap.

I really do feel like I'm the only person on the planet who doesn't lock the door when I'm in now, crazy, feeling quite stupid

Never mind locking the doors I'd move and change my name if someone tried that more than once!
(Slight exaggeration but only slight).

I don't lock my doors when I'm in, OP. Don't lock them when I go out either, not even sure the front door has a key, tbh.

Tiny village, very rural, lots of nosy neighbours and a 'fuck off' dog. And if I'm burgled in the next fortnight I'll know it was one of you lot, so.

I never lock my doors during the day if I’m at home, unless I’m going to have a shower or something and I’m here alone. I leave my back door wide open all day through the summer if I’m at home. I do live in a very rural area though.