To want my partner there?

[namechange697]

Ok I really need to know if I'm being unreasonable.

My partner and I have been together 4 years and he has an 8 year old son with special needs from a previous relationship.

I turn 40 next week and planned to have a barbecue with family round and obviously I want my partner there (it's been planned for a few months). He's now dropped the bombshell that he won't be coming as yesterday he booked his son on a summer playscheme and he'll see me at some point later on.

The only family member who can babysit is 70 miles away so he'll need to pick him up from the playscheme to take him there and quite possibly won't see me until 8pm...

It also means he now won't be able to take me to pick up the barbecue items (I don't drive) so I'm pretty pissed off when it was all arranged.

AIBU?

Are you looking for more commitment in this relationship than he is??

Learn to drive and then you won't be reliant on people picking up your bits!

If it was such a big deal to you maybe a conversation weeks ago might have helped
It was planned months ago. DP made arrangements then derided for whatever reason he would change them. It isn't about how old OP is, its about saying you'll do something and doing it unless there's a good reason not to

This is so sad. I think you are realising it isn’t going to go the distance.
I don’t think it is a mask for a surprise, I think he is telling you once again who he is. But it’s better to realise now than 10 years down the line.

It isn't about how old OP is, its about saying you'll do something and doing it unless there's a good reason not to

And the point ALL the way through this thread is that there is NO good reason not to. ! It doesn't matter if you have the care of 100 children with special needs. If the DP can stick to the plan as agreed and LONG planned - without any compromise to the dcs welfare (which there isn't - his change of plan is choice not need) then he is doing this against the best interest of his DP who entitled to one day .. whatever her age and whatever the reason. !