The Radfords

[highchairhell]

Hey all, after a night struggling with a teething baby and a toddler with chicken pox I ended up thinking about how the radfords cope? There just wasn't enough of me last night to give both the constant attention they wanted, and my DH was helping but it was constant and exhausting.

How on Earth do the radfords cope? Surely their children teeth, get poorly, need advice, homework help, feeding, bathing, one on one time etc so HOW?

I guess my aibu is to think they can't? Surely they can't be in 21 places at once?!

This was from a this morning interview. It is actually really sad. 11 yr olds should not be responsible for younger siblings. It wouldn't be an issue at all if the extra pairs of eyes and hands were nannies or paid help, but for it to be the children? And it is their choice to keep doing this.
I also find (and I really am struggling with correct words as I do understand how devasting a still birth is and miscarriages-I've experienced the latter myself) but how much time/money/attention and visits appear to be devoted to Alfie the baby still born at 26 weeks. And then all the rainbow babies since. I know everyone copes with grief differently and every loss is individual it just all seems so unbalanced when there's so many children there with needs.
I don't know, I just kind of hope for the children that they naturally stop conceiving and focus on the amazing family they have and that each one has a chance to shine.

Agree with that wholeheartedly, Fluffyrainbows. I would say that most people have some sort of dysfunction somewhere, from things that have happened in their lives, but when you have dependents who need you, that's really where the attention needs to be.

I think this family is just completely overstretched. Loving and attentive, yes, but of necessity, it's spread mighty thin, it has to be. Since the programme-makers have decided that this is a newsworthy story then I think they should take some responsibility for assisting the family. Cynically I think that the continued exposure is providing incentive to continue conception and that really makes me feel uncomfortable.

I can't get exercised about a girl of 14 getting pregnant, it happens all the time, it's really not a rare thing. The only difference is the profile.

There’s something twisted about an 18 year old having sex with a 13 year old

Education does matter. Its bloody selfish to practically discourage reading and homework..................whats going to happen 20..........30 years from now long after the cameras have stopped rolling. That bakery wont keep everyone..................a lifetime of Universal Credit and food banks could be where those children end up.

Because their selfish parents wont prioritize education.

"There’s something twisted about an 18 year old having sex with a 13 year old"

Totally agree with this ^^
Shes was a young child, He was an adult its not ok and I think there is something very wrong with him.

To use a Scottish word, there is a “ want” about both of them.

gosh 13......isnt that abuse? illegal?

I grew up in a large family - was one of the older girls and have great memories of my childhood. Yes it was busy and I totally get it’s not for everyone - i have 4 myself and couldn’t cope with more than that. We were all very close to our parents and my mum worked so hard - no child labour in our house but we were expected to do standard things like make our beds and keep rooms tidy.

My siblings have all chosen to have quite a few themselves so clearly we aren’t all suffering from a neglected childhood.

also - a poster said something about no attention, no education and future costs of all these kids. My siblings and I all have decent jobs and don’t claim benefits - in fact only one of my siblings qualifies from child benefit. I’m not trying to boast just pointing out that all big families are not neglected.

@tictoc76 I totally agree and I don't think that was being implied, I think conversation was specific to this family and a 21st child and not slamming all big families. I'm from a large family, and had a larger family. I loved it.

The mum does spend a lot of time yelling because there isn't time for anything else, I thought. Not an ideal set-up. I also thought she should stop ironing and start cooking because they eat nothing but frozen food. All horribly judgemental but isn't that what fly on the wall programmes are for?!

And they should both definitely have counselling re: being adopted and why having babies fills the hole.

tictoc, your situation sounds nurturing and caring. So different from this quite ridiculous set up.

The more I hear the worse it gets! A 13 year old embarks on having 20 plus children?

Many people who are adopted don't choose this route. I think that's a red herring. Something has gone badly wrong and the media all over it doesn't help.

They are not the only 13/18 year olds to be having sex though, are they? It's a UK-wide issue, surely?

Oh well that makes it okay then as long as he isn't the only 18 year old to sexually abuse a child!

Lyingwitch he was an adult she was a 13 year old child. Dont minimise it, its really disgusting

Gosh I didn’t know about the age difference. That’s hideous.

Look we had 6 kids admittedly last 2 twins and we never ever ever asked the older ones to babysit the littlies.

We were the parents and we parented. Occasionally if the older ones were going to be in anyway they would listen out for the younger kids but that was it.

Kids need to be kids. No responsibility for anyone else apart from hamsters/rabbits they nagged us to buy

@lyingwitch think of your comment another way - a generic they are racists, they are not the only people in the country who are racist.

Would that be ok?

To add my twopennyworth re the 13 and 18 age gap and posters saying it’s not that uncommon, nor are pregnant 13 year old unusual. I would like to say it was pretty uncommon 20 odd years ago. In my experience it was rare

No it isn’t a UK issue. 🙄It’s repellent.

Good grief it’s not a uk norm where I live.

Do you often feel
Paedophilia is ok?

18yo's sleeping with 13yo's definitely is not the norm where I live either, in fact when a friend's year ten 15yo started going out with a 17yo sixth former the school rang her to check that she was aware of it and they were both reminded that school discourages relationships between pupils from the main school and pupils from the post-16 unit.

As a mum of teenage girls, I just can't actually even comment on an 18 yr old getting a 13 year old pregnant. It's very disturbing and not like he's been reprimanded in any way, in fact he receives money and celebrity status for being a hard worker and sperm producer. It's something I try to push out of my head but it is wrong. And if an 18/19 year old slept with my 13 yr old there'd be a lot of trouble.

I'm really bothered 2 days on about her Instagram stories. Aimee, the one in the post above who is about 11, had made a mug in school and designed it. It was dedicated to Alfie. And the mum was so pleased and proud. But this is a baby she lost several years ago at 26 weeks and it just bothers me that an 11 year old would choose this to keep her mum happy. If it was a sibling she'd lived with it wouldn't bother me, but the mum is so obsessed with her babies it doesn't seem healthy for the other children.
I have had a miscarriage, and wouldn't expect this to be something my children gave too much time to.

I guess the family must fill up a school?

They are spread over 3 schools, Noel drops off the teenagers at high school then the younger ones at school. Sue walks to another school because the youngest school age DC's didn't get a place with the others. I remember her having a rant and was going to pull the DC's all out of school and enroll them at another one but I guess she didn't go thru with it. That would have been pretty shit if Sue and Noel did uproute the DC's like that all because one child didn't get a place.