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Original poster

To wonder why morons try to force alcohol on you..?

54 replies

Limpopobongo · 01/07/2018 20:47

I am a very occasional drinker.
If i averaged it out over a year id say i have two glasses of wine a week with meals. I dont really engage in pub culture,i.e going in pubs regularly to drink.
Anyway the other night I was out with some friends and just had a couple of pints over the evening.

One of the party just happened to be buying drinks and asked if id like one. I already had a glass of beer so indicated i was ok.

Anyway the reaction was as if i had made a derogatory comment about his wife ! Giving me strange looks ,asking what was wrong with me , querying whether i wasnt "enjoying myself" ,etc etc..

How incredibly boring..anyway i just reaffirmed my choice but it still continued until i simply told him to feck off..

Has anyone else encountered this boring pub culture behaviour?

OP posts:
9amTrain · 01/07/2018 20:49

I hate it too.

It's because they are morons.

SharronNeedles · 01/07/2018 20:50

I wouldn't say 2 glasses a wine a week made you a very occasional drinker, that's quite regular.

If you don't want another drink then you just don't have one. From your example is doesn't sound like they were trying to force anything on you. You were already drinking and they offered to buy you another drink. You said no. Yes their reaction was a bit childish but it doesn't seem OTT at all.

NewYearNewMe18 · 01/07/2018 20:51

Because they have alcohol problems and to justify their consumption, they need you to consume as much.

Wide0penSpace · 01/07/2018 20:53

I read your title as Mormons and was quite confused for a minute there!

SleepingStandingUp · 01/07/2018 20:54

Their reaction was childish.

If you average two glasses of wine a week but only drink very occasionally that suggests when you do drink you drink a lot so is that what they were reacting to do you think?

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 01/07/2018 20:54

I don't drink , I'm not TeeTotal because I use alcohol in Christmas cake and marzipan.My alcohol tolerance is less than zero.

DMiL got the hump when I refused a drink on NYE , the day before I was driving home with HER son and her 2 GC.

NotAgainYoda · 01/07/2018 20:55

People who have this reaction drink too much and are in denial, IMO

Hookinghappy · 01/07/2018 20:55

I haven't experienced this. I don't drink alcohol at all, ever and my friends are quite happy to buy me soft drinks. Could be something to do with the fact that I always give them a lift home at the end of the night though 😃

FATEdestiny · 01/07/2018 20:56

Blimey, is 2 glasses a wine a week really an occasional drinker?

If i averaged it out over a year I'd say I have about 6-8 unit of alcohol over the year. Not teetotal. But a (very) occasional drinker.

I mostly don't go to social events that involve alcohol- not my type of thing. I encourage names to meet me first coffee or breakfast etc instead. If I am in a pub environment, I can't say I've ever come across an issue with me not drinking. Mostly friends are grateful I am happy to be designated driver so they don't need to pay for a taxi.

LanguidLobster · 01/07/2018 20:56

That doesn't really arise if I'm with friends anymore as they don't want to drink if they're driving and I wouldn't let them anyway (not that they would want to).

Campaigning appears to have been effective about getting it into people's consciousness.

You're doing the right thing, just continue saying no.

usernamefromhell · 01/07/2018 20:56

Because a sizeable proportion of people can't relax or have fun without alcohol and feel threatened and uncomfortable around people who can.

I've dealt with this all my life and its taken me until my 40s to learn to say no I don't want another -- I drink a lot more than you do and am quite capable of putting away a shedful but I also like not to drink sometimes and I know my limits.

Its absolutely endemic: for so many people having fun means being shitfaced -- they can't relax or relate to other people properly without it. So if you decline they feel subconsciously guilty about their own drinking habits and that you are having a pop at them about it.

You just need to get comfortable with the fact that you don't want another one, end of story, and its no longer your problem.

userxx · 01/07/2018 21:00

@70isaLimitNotaTarget I'm confused. You do realise you wouldn't be over the limit the day after one drink.

usernamefromhell · 01/07/2018 21:00

by the way, I detect the slightest whiff of sanctimoniousness here in those of you saying "two glasses of wine is not occasional". It is a very moderate drinking habit which poses no risk to the OPs health and by the standards of a lot of the population is minmal. Leave the OP alone!

Chinnyreckoning · 01/07/2018 21:00

I think you're in denial that you're an occasional drinker tbh. I wouldn't say I was tee total as there's perhaps one or two times a year I might have one drink. That's occasional. Twice a week sounds like a decent amount.

GobblersKnob · 01/07/2018 21:04

I haven't drunk for 15 years, but there is still general astonishment when I refuse a glass of something at every single family event. I've also been quietly told that I'm rather rude not to drink when it's a celebration.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 01/07/2018 21:05

User thing is I don't drink alcohol by choice , it was her getting offended by my refusal that ticked me off. I was more than happy with a soft drink (I mention the cake because though I say I;m TT, technically I;m not)

LanguidLobster · 01/07/2018 21:06

I guess OP was talking about when people insist you have something alcoholic.

It's really easy to just get soda/lime/ice and no-one would notice the difference. Some people can be really pushy though

DrWhy · 01/07/2018 21:07

I think people are fairly accepting if you just don’t drink or have an annual Christmas glass of fizz than if you drink very moderately like the OP. They’ll push you to share a bottle of wine when you really only want one small glass or press another drink on you. Shots are the worst, it took my uni friends a while to work out they were wasting their money as I would not drink them!

SneakyGremlins · 01/07/2018 21:08

I'm allergic to alcohol. People still try to force me to have some.

GreenMeerkat · 01/07/2018 21:12

I don't understand the importance people place on alcohol, and their insistence that everyone must partake to enjoy themselves. I very rarely drink, if i go out for a meal I may have a drink or if it's a hot day I might have a cider in the garden (not today as I'm pregnant!) but I would say I drink around 30 days of the year, and that's usually one or two. My MIL is a heavy drinker (though she'd deny this), and thinks I'm strange or square or something because I don't feel like drinking myself into a stupor most nights. Her life practically revolves around drink. Even her comment son Facebook are drink related (even if there is no call for it.). I don't personally understand but I guess drinkers don't really understand us!

HellenaHandbasket · 01/07/2018 21:12

Dunno really, you sound like a pretty regular drinker to me.

I probably average about a glass/pint every few weeks unless on holiday when it may be one a day, and easily go a few months between drinks sometimes. DH is a more regular drinker, but gave up for a few years recently. I do find that people think it very odd if you don't really drink, most people do and I think non drinkers make them uncomfortable as there is the assumption the non drinker is judging. Most people know that I don't really drink and I do find I'm not invited to as many gatherings as many because they're 'drinking' so I'm not included, but hey ho.

rosamore · 01/07/2018 21:15

My husband and I both drink but never more than 2 in a night unless we're at a big party or wedding and our children aren't there (it's not good for my mental health and his mum was an alcoholic). We do, however, go to the pub for an evening most weeks as it's the only place we can socialise without travelling to the next big town. Usually, I'll drive and he'll have 1-2 pints or we'll walk and I'll have a glass of wine.

The thing people do not understand is that we're both happy to have a soft drink after we've had our 1-2 alcoholic drinks if we are having a nice time and want to spend more time with our friends. People always try and buy us additional alcoholic drinks, even offer to order us a taxi. It's like they're desperate for us to keep drinking. I don't understand it at all. Weird behaviour.

Watchingthecloudsflyby · 01/07/2018 21:17

I detect the slightest whiff of sanctimoniousness here in those of you saying "two glasses of wine is not occasional". It is a very moderate drinking habit which poses no risk to the OPs health and by the standards of a lot of the population is minmal. Leave the OP alone!

Not at ask but saying she's an occasional drinker then saying she has on average two glasses a week just doesn't make sense is all.
Also if she actually normally binge drinks with them then doesn't drink for months they might have been shocked by her not having more

BlueJava · 01/07/2018 21:19

I don't drink alcohol at all - mostly because it clashes with my meds. But I do hate it being forced on me!

LanguidLobster · 01/07/2018 21:20

Oh actually I can drink too much when I'm stressed, I was seeing someone a few years ago who lived long distance from me and I grumbled at the end of a call that I wanted a glass of wine and he said 'but you're teetotal??'.

I thought he was taking the piss at first then realised afterwards I would never drink around him as he always drove down from London, he got completely the wrong impression!