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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How long to leave toddler unattended

71 replies

Alwaysinthewrong86 · 01/07/2018 13:37

How long do people think its acceptable for to leave a 2 year old to their own devices at home? Dh is in a strop as we he was emptying some boxes in a spare room upstairs while I was downstairs doing housework with Dd who is 2. He asked me to come up and help and leave Dd in front of the tv for half an hour while I helped him. I did go up for a few minutes but Dd then got bored and dh got annoyed as we couldn't get everything he wanted to do done.

I said I was happy to help unpack boxes if we took them downstairs where we could both watch Dd and work but dh said she should be able to entertain herself for long periods of time. I know She has the attention span of a goldfish at the moment so know that doesn't work but he's adamant!

OP posts:

endofthelinefinally · 01/07/2018 13:38

He is a bit clueless about small children.

Ellafruit1 · 01/07/2018 13:38

He’s talking rubbish! I never really left my toddler unattended, he would get into too much mischief! I could get things done while leaving him to play in the same room or popping my head round the door every few minutes.

Freezingheart · 01/07/2018 13:39

At this age pretty much zero time unattended - too many chocking and danger hazards. It’s also the silence you need me to nervous off. Toddlers can segue from safe to in great danger in a matter of under a minute

WinkyisbackontheButterBeer · 01/07/2018 13:40

I manage about as long as it takes to sprint upstairs, have s speed-wee and sprint back down. She still manages to get herself into trouble in those short periods of time.

Battleax · 01/07/2018 13:42

Three minutes max if you keep an ear cocked.

Getoffthetableplease · 01/07/2018 13:42

Does he spend much time with her alone, or are you the one mainly there/there together? Occasionly our toddler will entertain himself for 10 mins or so, but the last time he was left unsupervised (literally for 5 mins) he found a pencil and a key and drew all over our newly decorated walls that had only been done after he decided to rip the wallpaper off on a previous occasion. We have to do things the smallest will find a bore when he's sleeping or there's usually trouble of some kind.

0lgaDaPolga · 01/07/2018 13:44

I only leave my son for maybe 2 mins max and that’s within earshot of any mischief. There’s just too many hazards and he has no common sense yet. It doesn’t take long for him to get into something so I’d never be able to leave him unattended for long

Thehop · 01/07/2018 13:47

You’ve basically got time to pee. That’s all.

Runssometimes · 01/07/2018 13:53

Depends on the child. My lad be fine fur that long as long as he had plenty of toys. But he’s always been good at entertaining himself. Crucially he wasn’t a climber, or much of an explorer, so never really got into mischief. If you have one of those I wouldn’t take my eyes of her for a second!

SaltyPeanut · 01/07/2018 13:54

I'm sorry but your DH is being well unreasonable here. You can't expect a two year old to be as self sufficient as he is making out. There are too many dangers in the home to disappear off upstairs like that.

I also suspect that you and I both know that "assisting" DH always takes a shit load longer than DH says it will.

Besides that, I think you need to tell him to get on with his own task, you are already doing all the housework downstairs and watching a child. I'd bet you're simultaneously planning lunch too.

Why should you also help him. I mean, who is doing your chores while you stop to help him. I bet he wouldn't offer to help you finish up downstairs after he's put you behind for the day.

I'm not saying your DH is a dick but he is acting like one at the moment.

Original poster

Alwaysinthewrong86 · 01/07/2018 13:54

Thanks all. That's generally what I do as well and tbh Dd follows me into the toilet when I have a wee as well haha! Dh just seems to think she should be like a 14 years old already and able to entertain herself where as I know 2 minutes is enough for the house to be destroyed

OP posts:

endofthelinefinally · 01/07/2018 13:56

Your not going to feel comfortable about leaving your child to be looked after by DH are you.

Fluffyrainbows · 01/07/2018 13:57

I can barely pee alone with my youngest who's 2!! Honestly it's not worth leaving them and they should not be left. He should realise this.

Ohyesiam · 01/07/2018 13:58

3 mins?
They can just about be in the adjoining room, but I keep popping in every few mins and don’t t have any music playing so I can listen all the time.

Wellthisunexpected · 01/07/2018 14:00

Long enough to wee.

Occasionally he'll watch TV or play in his room long enough for me to shower or put clothes away.

eggncress · 01/07/2018 14:02

No longer than a minute or two... if you need the loo for example. There’re into everything at that age and it doesn’t take long for something bad to happen.

Amanduh · 01/07/2018 14:02

Er never. Except for a wee in the downstairs loo with the door open 😂

Talith · 01/07/2018 14:06

Not very long!!! DS managed to pull off a big splintery three foot length of skirting board and wave it around in the time it took me to pop upstairs with the washing. Its no wonder I live on my nerves even now

HildaZelda · 01/07/2018 14:08

Have to agree with everyone else here. Running to the loo is about as long as I'd leave a 2 year old on their own for.

Juells · 01/07/2018 14:09

@Wellthisunexpected

Long enough to wee.

😂 Yup, that's about the size of it.

JaniceBattersby · 01/07/2018 14:11

All mine have been different. The middle two could probably do about ten minutes at that age without ruining something. The outlying two, about ten seconds. I’d never have left them out of earshot for more than a few minutes though because of choking, pulling something on themselves, falling, getting something wrapped around their neck etc etc. Even the most trustworthy child can have a moment where they decide to drag a chair over to the toaster, turn it in and stick a knife in it.

Hanuman · 01/07/2018 14:15

Agree with everyone else. I only leave my toddler longer if strapped into high chair with iPad on. Even then 10 mins max

Original poster

Alwaysinthewrong86 · 01/07/2018 14:25

His argument this morning was I got to do the jobs with Dd around so got to spend time with her as well, while he was upstairs building furniture. I would love to have swapped with him but he knows full well I am useless with a drill and a screwdriver so not sure what he really expected!

OP posts:

4GreenApples · 01/07/2018 14:31

I wouldn’t trust a toddler for more than a minute or two, unless they were in a childproofed area (e.g. playpen) that they weren’t yet able to escape from. And even then, 30 mins is too long.

I found my DCs attention spans were very variable at that age. Sometimes they’d sit still glued to the TV for 30 mins or more, other times they’d be bored of TV after 1 min, even if it was a favourite show. Just now way of predicting which way it would go.

happypoobum · 01/07/2018 14:32

YANBU - what are you going to do about it? How do you feel about leaving him in sole charge of her now?

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