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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How long to leave toddler unattended

71 replies

Alwaysinthewrong86 · 01/07/2018 13:37

How long do people think its acceptable for to leave a 2 year old to their own devices at home? Dh is in a strop as we he was emptying some boxes in a spare room upstairs while I was downstairs doing housework with Dd who is 2. He asked me to come up and help and leave Dd in front of the tv for half an hour while I helped him. I did go up for a few minutes but Dd then got bored and dh got annoyed as we couldn't get everything he wanted to do done.

I said I was happy to help unpack boxes if we took them downstairs where we could both watch Dd and work but dh said she should be able to entertain herself for long periods of time. I know She has the attention span of a goldfish at the moment so know that doesn't work but he's adamant!

OP posts:

JessieMcJessie · 01/07/2018 15:36

Well you’ve been very lucky MrsMarigold. My DS is addicted to climbing up and down stairs and I let him but I am always right below him in case he falls. He gets far too excited and I’ve caught him more times than I can count. I was not willing to try the experiment of “he’ll be careful if I’m not there to help”. I am not a “helicopter parent” by any stretch but I draw the line at leaving him to roam free in a house full of stairs. Poor you with your massive house.

JessieMcJessie · 01/07/2018 15:39

PS BabyDan do excellent flexible and extendable stair gates if anyone is thinking that stair gates really are not possible in tricky-shaped houses.

schooltripwoes · 01/07/2018 15:43

It depends on the child. DD at that age would've happily played alone for 20-30 mins. I wouldn't have left her downstairs though if I was upstairs. But in her room with us in a different room on the same floor, it would've been fine.
Failing that would she not sit in the floor in the room you and DH are sorting the boxes in, with some toys / books?

Bluesmartiesarebest · 01/07/2018 16:05

2 year olds don’t have any sense of danger so they can’t be left on their own. Even in a room full of toys and nothing else there will be a door that a toddler can shut on their fingers.

My neighbours toddler worked out how to unlock the living room window and tried to climb out. Luckily I spotted him in time!

Getoffthetableplease · 01/07/2018 16:27

TwoSweeteners, you know that that's really not okay though?! Even if your child isn't remotely interested in anything around them and unlikely to move anywhere (because I fail to see how your room is JUST toys - no furniture or anything?) it still absolutely does not make it okay to leave them alone like you say you do.

Katedotness1963 · 01/07/2018 16:45

You can leave them for as much time as it takes to pee. Do not be surprised, if in that time, no matter how engrossed in what they're doing they are, they manage to climb on a shelf, grab a big tub of sudocreme and rub the contents into an armchair...

Half an hour? Not a chance!

RandomMess · 01/07/2018 17:24

How much more of a mortgage would you need to buy something where you live? Even just a roomy 2 bed?

TwoSweetenersImBitterEnough · 01/07/2018 18:26

@Isawthelight

I haven't lectured anyone don't be so dramatic

I have go now, and continue 'pulling my stunts'

Littleelffriend · 01/07/2018 18:35

I must be awful too. I leave my 2 year old downstairs while I shower upstairs, sometimes dry my hair as well. Today I shaved my legs and everything. I shut the bottom stair gate and she’s fine.

IfYouDontImagineNothingHappens · 02/07/2018 09:21

Really depends on the child. Most two years olds - you couldn't. Mine I could. I wouldn't leave anyone else's.

OP have you got a video monitor? Could you hook it up downstairs so you could see her?

mildshock · 02/07/2018 09:34

My near 5 year old can only be entertained by himself for around 30 minutes. If I left him for longer than two minutes as a toddler he'd hunt down the Sudocrem and wipe it all over himself, the curtains, the carpet, the cat etc.

Pengggwn · 02/07/2018 09:46

I leave mine for a couple of minutes if I'm in the next room. She is fine for five minutes as she has quite a long attention span. She is currently sulking in the hall because she doesn't want to put her shoes on.

blackteasplease · 02/07/2018 09:51

I agree with everyone else. Long enough to wee.

He is clueless. The worst thing is he got cross about it and thought he knew better than you though.

hellowembley · 02/07/2018 09:55

Wow reading this i feel so lucky. My 2 year old stays in her room playing for an hour at lunch instead of napping. I watch her on video monitor but she’s happy to entertain herself that long. There’s no way she’d destroy the room if i left her downstairs for 10 mins or whatever. Hard to believe others can only be separated for 2 mins, you must be knackered.

Isawthelight · 02/07/2018 18:04

TwoSweetenersImBitterEnough I think it's more down to your anxiety of things she could possible grab hold of rather than your toddler being a destructive maniac

If you leave pens on a table and leave the room you will almost definitely come back to a newly decorated room. If there is just toys then she will play with the toys as there is no other option. You must be exhausted having to follow her round the house to see what she is touching

Sounds like a patronizing lecture to me...

Narkle · 02/07/2018 19:40

Depends. Downstairs in the living room, no longer than a few minutes without supervision.

In their own rooms with the baby gate locked, I have done it up to an hour, with a baby monitor on and a few checks in between from around 1.5 years old.

It's really more a question of where the hazards are and how reliable the children are.

Summerlovin24 · 03/07/2018 14:11

2 mins tops. They were everywhere. Left a 2 and 4 yr old for 5 mins once to watch england in a peno shoot put. Dh in pub. They had been playing with toys. In 5mins they had decided to make cakes. Poured whole bag of flour into a bowl on floorMixed water. Result =gooeymess all over kitchen floor. Took days to remove properly 😅

BadMoodBetty · 03/07/2018 14:43

Jeez, a minute?! Two minutes tops! I turned round and went in a room to pick up a drink and DS (19 months) had shimmied under the stairgate and got stuck halfway in the 15 seconds I wasn't watching!

Having a banzai toddler necessitates an iota of helicopter parenting, it's been a lot of work and sleep deprivation to get this far so I'd really prefer he didn't die.

notfromstepford · 03/07/2018 14:44

I'll leave my 2.5 year old for 5 mins while I have a shower but only if his 6 year old brother is with him and they tend to read the gruffalo. If it's just me and the youngest - he comes upstairs with me.
Stair gates are shut, dog is in his cage and everything is a proofed as it can be. Even the dog cage has a cupboard lock on it as the youngest can't be trusted to let him out!

UnderTheDesk · 03/07/2018 15:01

Three mins with the stair gate closed, the front door locked, and Dd plonked in front of cartoons. And that’s to have a shower in the next room with the door opened.

Otherwise, approximately 30 seconds.

Tessabelle1 · 03/07/2018 18:36

I'll wash up whilst my 2 year old is in the front room but I certainly wouldn't expect to be able to leave her on a different floor to me for half an hour! I'm sure your hubby is more than capable of bringing the boxes down so you can help or he can just do them himself

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