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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How long to leave toddler unattended

71 replies

Alwaysinthewrong86 · 01/07/2018 13:37

How long do people think its acceptable for to leave a 2 year old to their own devices at home? Dh is in a strop as we he was emptying some boxes in a spare room upstairs while I was downstairs doing housework with Dd who is 2. He asked me to come up and help and leave Dd in front of the tv for half an hour while I helped him. I did go up for a few minutes but Dd then got bored and dh got annoyed as we couldn't get everything he wanted to do done.

I said I was happy to help unpack boxes if we took them downstairs where we could both watch Dd and work but dh said she should be able to entertain herself for long periods of time. I know She has the attention span of a goldfish at the moment so know that doesn't work but he's adamant!

OP posts:

JagerPlease · 01/07/2018 14:35

If DS is sufficiently engaged with tv/a book/a toy I can just about manage to wee or get something from another room. Otherwise he's climbing the sofa/hanging off the counter/throwing things out the window etc. The thought of leaving him for half an hour unless he's in a deep sleep is genuinely laughable!

SuperSuperSuper · 01/07/2018 14:35

A few minutes, I think, maximum.

That said, my younger DC loved Peppa Pig so much at that age, he'd happily sit in front of an episode without moving.

user1andonly · 01/07/2018 14:37

Oh yes like it's great fun trying to do jobs with a toddler around!

I would much rather have been building furniture on my own!

I think half an hour in front of the telly is OK if they are happy but 99 times out of 100, the minute you tried to sneak away to do something else (eg make a brew and read a book) they'd either be up to mischief or coming to find you and climb on you.

user1493413286 · 01/07/2018 14:38

Half an hour?! The amount of trouble my DD could get into in that time makes me feel sick.
Long enough for a wee is about the time I’d leave her for; she will try to follow me if I’m any longer and will get Upset

Velvete · 01/07/2018 14:38

He really doesn't have a clue does he?

That's worrying that he thinks a two year old can be left to their own devices for that amount of time, I'd have to sit him down and have a serious chat about it until I let he understood before I ever allowed him to care for her alone.

Happygummibear · 01/07/2018 14:46

I just asked my DH

"Do you think a 2 year old can be left for 30 mins while you do something else where in the house"

Before I finished he said "no"

our dd is only 11 months. He hasn't had children before but knows that they can't be left.

You DH needs to get a grip. Things need to be done in the house. If he wants to spend time with his child perhaps he should have them up there with him helping.

Can you put dd upstairs with you to play? It's frustrating when they "help" But at least you can all be together and safe

OnlyBaBaBiss · 01/07/2018 14:46

HA! Half an hour?!
Even my 6 year old comes looking for me after half an hour
The 2 year old is on a one man mission to kill himself it seems so he never gets left unsupervised- never! He sits on my knee when I’m having a wee 😩

Isleepinahedgefund · 01/07/2018 14:49

Two year olds are terrifying creatures, there’s no predicting what they can/can’t get up to. Can’t leave them alone to entertain themselves! Wishful thinking on your DH’s part. They need to be within supervsiom range constantly and only left alone for a few minutes if absolutely necessary.

TwoSweetenersImBitterEnough · 01/07/2018 14:53

I must be terrible as I regularly leave my nearly 2yo downstairs on his own while I sort washing/hoover and generally tidy upstairs. I also nip to the neighbours for a few minutes for stuff, and he will still be sat in the living room playing by himself when I get back in. He hasn't ever got himself into any harm because there is nothing there for him to hurt himself on. OP what is it that you think she is going to do? I think it's more down to your anxiety of things she could possible grab hold of rather than your toddler being a destructive maniac.

If you leave pens on a table and leave the room you will almost definitely come back to a newly decorated room. If there is just toys then she will play with the toys as there is no other option. You must be exhausted having to follow her round the house to see what she is touching.

londonrach · 01/07/2018 14:56

Ok....the time i leave my almost 2 year unattended....as long as it takes me to leg it up the stairs to the bathroom (stairgate on stairs and in theory safe in lounge playing) to the toilet and back again. Id say 3 minutes at most if that but my ear is on hyper drive. No way longer than that

Camomila · 01/07/2018 14:59

I live in a flat so can leave DS age 2 for longer and occasionally walk past the living room door, plus he chats to himself while he plays so I can hear him 'choo chooing' with his trains or whatever.

At DMs with stairs I don't go upstairs/downstairs without him for longer than it takes to quickly grab a forgotten jacket/glass of water etc. because I can't hear him.

CowGull · 01/07/2018 15:01

YANBU, a 2year old can 'entertain' themself for 30 minutes, it's what they class as entertainment that is the problem!

Camomila · 01/07/2018 15:04

Not longer than half an hour obvs, I just mean a bit longer than it takes to wee/make a cup of tea

Isawthelight · 01/07/2018 15:06

Your DH sounds clueless about children.

At 2yo, I would only have went upstairs and left them for 5 mins max.

Dahlietta · 01/07/2018 15:11

I also nip to the neighbours for a few minutes for stuff, and he will still be sat in the living room playing by himself when I get back in.

Isawthelight · 01/07/2018 15:14

I also nip to the neighbours for a few minutes for stuff, and he will still be sat in the living room playing by himself when I get back in

You are very very lucky that nothing has happened to your DC. Oh and how dare you try and lecture OP about her DC when you pull stunts like that^.

Original poster

Alwaysinthewrong86 · 01/07/2018 15:16

Dh always moans about how I take Dd with me if I go upstairs and it's just me and her but she likes to be involved and we have a 3 storey house so it's easier for her to come with me. According to him I should just leave her downstairs as she can't hurt herself. Despite the fact Dd is a climber, constantly throwing herself off stuff and runs everywhere.

When dh is here on his own with Dd he doesn't do anything other than sit on the sofa so it's not really an issue him leaving her on her own

OP posts:

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/07/2018 15:18

Couldn’t you have taken dd upstairs wtih you?

BertieBotts · 01/07/2018 15:18

It's irresponsible to leave a toddler unsupervised for half an hour. They are only little and have absolutely no common sense.

thenewaveragebear1983 · 01/07/2018 15:18

Ds is 2yr 9 Months and I regularly leave him downstairs for half hour or so while I do jobs. I always tell him where I am, sometimes he pops up to help but usually just plays. I build a decent train track first.

NoNarnas · 01/07/2018 15:20

DS 20 Months comes with me if I need to go upstairs for anything other than a few seconds to grab something.

I leave him in the lounge while I go to the kitchen to prep dinner but he is working ear shot and I check back every few minutes. Generally as soon as he hears the fridge open he is by my side anyway!

DerfelCadarn · 01/07/2018 15:23

DD is 21 months and generally sits watching tv for a half hour while I cook tea. But the living room opens directly into the kitchen so I can hear her all the time and I also pop my head round the door every couple of minutes, come back and sit with her for 10 mins while food is simmering etc.

She is generally mesmerised by Peppa Pig and Show Me Show Me!

I wouldn't go upstairs to do a big job, just a speed wee

JessieMcJessie · 01/07/2018 15:30

As the mother of an almost 2-year old, I agree with most PP that your DH is deluded. Leaving him alone to entertain himself not an option. However a solution that might have worked if you had room, and which we do sometimes, could have been to take the high chair upstairs and strap him in with a snack and/or toy in sight of you both while you worked.

AveABanana · 01/07/2018 15:30

a 2year old can 'entertain' themself for 30 minutes, it's what they class as entertainment that is the problem!

Exactly. What they see as entertainment is usually what we would call destruction, demolition or dangerous.

MrsMarigold · 01/07/2018 15:31

We live in a big house and stairgates were impossible. As a result my DC have always been relatively unsupervised as I just couldn't keep an eye on them all the time, the house has six different levels. They are very independent and I often feel when I visit other people that they are real helicopter parents. They are also noticeably more responsible when it comes to hazards.

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