Are these offensive words?

[user1471433387]

DH referred to a girl on TV as half caste and I said it is probably better to say mixed race. He said he would continue to use that word and doesn't see a problem. We had a similar discussion about the word coloured a few years ago. WIBU?

Maybe he's just trying to avoid being a hipster twat? I don't give a shit about a person's race. I do give a shit that I might be called a racist by unwittingly using a term that has become racist but was acceptable a year ago, and I'm just not trendy enough to keep up with the changes. I have no wish to offend anyone but I do not spend my time scouring the press to find out which is the currently acceptable term to use. One good example is the NAACP - yet apparently coloured is no longer an acceptable term. Dear God, you can't win.

I hate the “its not racist it’s j(just) ignorance” because anyone who accidentally uses a racist term and has it pointed out shout realise their mistake and correct.
My friends first language isn’t English and was asking if darkie was offensive, they were thinking along the lines of all the quirks of the English language and British people. I said that it had been used pejoratively so regards of what it actually meant it was offencive. They understood that and appreciated it (also grateful they hadn’t dropped it into coversation).
If your DH can’t do you the same courtesy that is shocking.

I'm just not trendy enough to keep up with the changes.

How long do you think 'half-caste' has been considered to be as prejudiced, ignorant and hateful as it is?

yet apparently coloured is no longer an acceptable term.

No, it's not. And you know what else? The Berlin Wall has fallen!

I’m with sharpe I live in a small, white village in the middle of rural nowhere in the UK. It takes a little while (not decades!) for things to filter through sometimes. I too don’t watch the telly or read about the ‘new’ none offensive words (which will mostlikely become offensive in a few years and be replaced by another word)

However, if I was told that a term was offensive then I would stop using it.... it’s just shit to have to be called out on it 1st. It would be handy if there was a website which updated acceptable terms

*yet apparently coloured is no longer an acceptable term.

No, it's not. And you know what else? The Berlin Wall has fallen!*

Maybe someone should that to the NAACP?

SharpLily
Yes I’m sure some of your best friends are black...

One of my lifelong friends has a black father and a white mother (are we still allowed to call people black and white? I am genuinely at the stage where I don't know anymore). When we were growing up I knew that I was supposed to call her half-caste. At one point it was made clear that I was then supposed to call her coloured. Moving on it became that she was a person of colour. According to this thread I believe I am now supposed to call her mixed race. To me she is none of these things, she's just Zoe.

I'm a busy person. Can someone point me to a quick reference guide or app that keeps me up to date with the changes in these things? I honestly don't know how people find out that they are getting it wrong without someone calling them racist.

Pull your head in @Ghanagirl before assuming I am white...

I am what I believe people are now calling mixed race but have never and would never call myself that.

Maybe someone should that to the NAACP?

I think you were trying to make a point, but this doesn't make any sense. Don't worry, I don't think we've missed anything important.

Your implication that it's impossible not to be a racist dipshit unless you're in some sort of secret MI5 cabal is utter nonsense. I'll go so far as to say I've only ever met a certain type of person who claimed it was too difficult to keep up with racist and sexist terms that have been offensive for years and years and years.

It's not hard. You don't need to be very smart.

I am half caste, and find "mixed race" offensive, and "dual heritage" deeply patronising and offensive

Your implication that it's impossible not to be a racist dipshit unless you're in some sort of secret MI5 cabal is utter nonsense

Not implying any such thing. I have no idea what you mean by a 'secret MI5 cabal'. Clearly I'm not very smart.

I have had the whole "Where are you from? No, where are you REALLY from?" thrown at me. I'm just not that desperate to assume everyone is a racist.

But then I am a biology teacher, and find referring to different "races" as offensive, because we are not different races, scientifically speaking there are no subdivisions of races in the human race at all, we are all one race.

we are of different ethnic origins.

Maybe the OP partner doesn't like being told what to say.

Words fall in and out of fashion all the time. Some people go along with it not wanting to cause offense, others use it as a form a moral superiority and others think it is ridiculous most of the time.

I am half caste, and find "mixed race" offensive, and "dual heritage" deeply patronising and offensive

Really? You prefer to be called half "pure" race than mixed race? Do you think that black people are less pure than white?

I was wondering if she'd looked into the etymology.

A word is offensive if the listener is offended. Were you offended, OP? Or are you worried that others will be offended?
You need a better argument than "that's offensive" if you want to change your husband's vocabulary.
I'd Google the offending word plus "etymology" if you want to be more convincing, and maybe to think about whether it really merits offence.
I'd also look up "euphemism creep".
Your own experience of people using "half caste" or "coloured" to insult or dismiss you is another convincing argument (excuse my stating the blindingly obvious).
Your desire to change your husband's vocabulary may be justified, but if you're just telling him what he's allowed to say and then looking to AIBU for validation, then you haven't thought it through.
He's likely to be defensive because so many people are jerks to other people using unfashionable words to indicate race or disability.

Words fall in and out of fashion all the time. Some people go along with it not wanting to cause offense, others use it as a form a moral superiority and others think it is ridiculous most of the time.

exactly!

incidentally, I've heard my children happily refer to themselves as quarter castes! once my son said he was a quarter quarter quarter quarter caste, but that was a bit of a mouthful

The best way for our family is this
Is your daughter amazing ?
Yes

And finish .

No, certain terms fall out of fashion in the 1960s and stay that way forever.

@sharplily There has never been a time when you were SUPPOSED to call people half-caste. There was a time it was used. Just in the same way that 'pk' was used for anyone of Southern Asian descent. 30 odd years ago it fell out of use as it is demeaning as it has awful negative connotations and more people started to realise and care whether words they used to describe others might be hateful. The use of 'coloured' hasn't been acceptable for a similar length of time.

There is no frequent changing of language and what's acceptable for describing race. There is no need for a website or for a newspaper to update lists of acceptable terms. Just ignorant racists need to actually pay attention to the rest of the world and other people, and not focus solely on themselves.

*I am half caste, and find "mixed race" offensive, and "dual heritage" deeply patronising and offensive

Really? You prefer to be called half "pure" race than mixed race? Do you think that black people are less pure than white?*

I don't see where Claire told us which 'races' she is - as I haven't myself. Why are you bringing up black? You do realise there are other people out there besides black and white? Where did she say anything about purity? It's this sort of thing that makes me less bothered about trying to keep up with what everyone wants to call themselves.

This was the term I was taught as a child. I learnt half caste was racist as an adult but until then I had no idea it was derived from a caste system. My friend, who is a few years younger used it a few months ago and I told her it wasn’t an acceptable term anymore and she has stopped using it. It’s ok not to know something. But it’s not ok to learn something and refuse to change. Your partner is incredibly dense not to heed what a mixed race person is telling them.

In the UK the term half-caste is generally considered more offensive than mixed-race because it implies being ‘half pure’ (the connotation being that the white half is the pure half). The term denies the mixed race person a section of their heritage by reducing them to half of a race HTH

Or would you prefer half breed?

These are all colonial terms used during the empire to categorise and define 'the natives' . That is why we shrugged them off many years ago.And quite rightly so. I have not heard anyone use this term in years.

Just ignorant racists need to actually pay attention to the rest of the world and other people

I find it pretty depressing sometimes reading the papers or watching the news. Probably that does make me ignorant. However when did 'uninformed' become 'racist'. I take a while to catch up with many trends or cultural shifts. Does that mean I'm 'fashionist' or 'avocado-ist'? Although I am most definitely 'reality TV-ist'? I still call Starburst Opal Fruits. Can you not see how ridiculous this is starting to become?