To ask tips on how to sort this?

[NewDOOFUSfor18]

I have a 6 year old ds who has alway provided much hell fun when it comes to sleep. I've started threads and had great support when I've reached the end of my tether and just can't cope with the exhaustion any more however things have taken a turn and I just don't know what to do.

Back story: when ds was 18 months old we used the rapid return technique at bedtime as it was taking upwards of 3 hours to get ds to go to sleep. It took 3 nights but we got there (it didn't sort the multiple waking throughout the night, which still happen to this day) and it never happened again.....until the past week. Every night is a battle and I'm becoming progressively less tolerant, not helped by being woken approx 5-8 times a night for absolutely fuck all reason so I'm knackered.

So far we've had major kick offs because he's hungry (despite eating his body weight in food and having supper before bed), he's thirsty, his teddy has a hole, he's hot (going to bed in just shorts with only a duvet cover, window open) he's not tired etc. Now this last one bothers me because he is absolutely hanging out of his arse, he looks tired and acts hideous. Not only is he not going to sleep until gone 9pm but he's awake by 6am at the latest.

He's currently sat on the sofa next to me refusing to go to bed as he can't sleep and I'm, quite frankly, fucked right off. I just don't know how to turn this around, rapid return won't work now due to his age....please help, how on earth do I get him to go to sleep at bedtime when he's clearly knackered??

Well done op. Do follow through. Make sure a visually show him what he has lost, and perhaps allow him to earn a day back if he gets with the program tonight.

Also try to be calm. The beauty of the techno ban is that that is his consequence so you feeling frustrated or annoyed that he didn’t do what was required is unnecessary.

Just go about your day and breezily remind him why, every time he asks for technology.

“No technology today because of last night - hopefully tonight will be better.”

Again, thank you. I think the idea of winning a day back is a good idea, I will put this forward to him (anyone else feel like they're negotiating with a dictator?!). I'm shattered today, he woke twice (not bad given his normal state of play!) Once because he'd been sleeping on his arm and his hand hurt and we had a bed wetting incident (not uncommon for him, I may need this reviewing) but I couldn't drop off for a few hours as I was unusually stressed about an email I had to write and kept writing it in my head over and over I should have just written the darn email, I would have stopped worrying about it then!!

I am sure it goes without saying but both those incidents shouldn’t add to the days ban really.

Poor thing, it’s horrible when you have sleep issues. Yes I think you can make tonight a carrot and stick gig.

Any nonsense - lose another day
BUT
Go to sleep without nonsense - get a day back
Stay in bed all night - another one
Don’t get up until specific time - third one.

If he does all three he’s back on devices tomorrow. Try giving him a visual (even just written words if he reads well) so as he can’t bend the boundaries and can see exactly what is expected.

Good luck!!

username neither of those incidents invoke any consequences, that is the honest truth, he can't help either of those. It is rare that he wakes me for an actual reason though!

I absolutely assumed as much, I promise! I really feel for him because I was him. And it’s not just based on being manipulative - it’s deeper than that. I think he did really well on Sunday night and he can do really well again. But it’s important to remember that while that is just what we expect, he really achieved something.