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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Family photos on desk at work - yay or nay?

111 replies

ParkerPen · 30/06/2018 16:17

Context - My dh works for an investment management firm in London. I popped into his office yesterday (we were meeting to go out for dinner) and I noticed that he didn't have any photos of our family on his desk, whereas the desks on either side had several photos of children.

I have loads of photos of our girls and family on my desk at work (I work for the NHS, not in London, and not private sector like dh), so thought this was a bit strange. I like having photos of lovely holidays to look at during the day.

Dh said that when you put photos of your kids on your desk, it's basically saying, "Don't sack me, I have a family to support." He thinks it's a bit pathetic.

Who is right?

OP posts:

MexicanBob · 30/06/2018 21:13

Never have/had family photos on my desk. I can remember what my family looks like.

Mia1415 · 30/06/2018 21:17

Some of you would hate my desk! I’ve got several photos of my son, my dog, my old cat, my dear Dad, and the Disney castle.

Judge all you want. I’m a fairly senior manager in a demanding job, in my own office and they bring me some happiness.

AlonsosLeftPinky · 30/06/2018 21:17

I don't like any clutter on my desk so I don't have anything like that. I also know what my family look like so don't need to sit looking at a reminder.

I don't really care what other people have on theirs. Oh I did once work with a guy who had 6 photos around his desk, all of himself. None featuring anyone else. He had a wife and 3 children. Odd.

butlerswharf · 30/06/2018 21:21

It's personal choice. But I don't. I agree that they are a bit cringey.

JumbleJamba · 30/06/2018 21:24

Also, who are these workplaces who tell their staff what they can or can't have on their desk? I would have to hear some pretty compelling reasoning before I accepted anyone telling me I couldn't have a picture of my son on my desk.

lulu12345 · 30/06/2018 21:38

I can understand why people did it before camera phones, but as I now have about 3000 photos in my phone to look at if I feel the need I don't need one on my desk too.

Agree

AviatorShades · 30/06/2018 22:33

My cancer Consultant has a splendid family portrait pinned (blutacked?) on the wall to the side of his desk - the artist is his young daughter It would appear that his out of work trousers are harlequin pants?
Oh,and his wife has bright yellow hair, dangly multi coloured earrings and wears a bright blue mini skirt and incredibly high heels which are red

JaceLancs · 30/06/2018 22:38

No one in my office has anything personal - just usual notes of things to do and important phone numbers or emails - taped to bottom of monitor
I do have a calendar that reminds me of a happy place I used to love

Derwent19 · 30/06/2018 22:40

JumbleJambo - 'Why can't you just be the person that you really are all the time'

The problem with that is the person you really are could make someone else feel very uncomfortable. People have enough hassle in their private lives that they don't need to go to work and have to put up with the eccentricities of others.

The workplace should be neutral. There should be opportunities to be yourself when appropriate (break times, rest rooms etc) but whilst working we need to consider others.

Photos on a desk don't bother me. If they are pinned to a wall forcing others to look at them that is a different issue, but a photo placed so only the person sitting at the chair can see is fine to me.

SparkyTheCat · 30/06/2018 22:45

I have a small photo of DH on my desk. But then he works for the same organisation, so I can see the real thing any time

Moneyhelping · 30/06/2018 22:45

I wouldn’t do it. A couple of people have a single photo of a child or partner bluetacked on to a monitor which is pretty standard and one girl has a massive framed wedding montage which I find a bit weird personally

LackOfAdhesiveDucks · 30/06/2018 22:47

Most people at my work have photos of their families and/or kids’ artwork on their desks. I don’t have any photos or anything and I am definitely in the minority but I don’t have kids so didn’t feel it necessary. My background on my laptop is a photo of my horse though, it’s a nice talking point with the kids I teach.

iamthere123 · 30/06/2018 22:52

@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow excellent taste in music! you can Jon if I can keep Benji Kirkpatrick!

Graphista · 30/06/2018 23:19

He's reading WAY too much into it!

But then your set up sounds unprofessional. It's a work area not your shelves at home. I especially hate desks drowning in plants, loose photos, homemade pottery etc - just no! Looks awful and disorganised. Aside from that it's personal choice.

I think one or 2 pics, to personalise and provide potential talking points is fine.

The thread in general makes me thing of the episode of the Simpsons where after having Bart & Lisa and paying all the bill etc Homer is finally at a point where he can quit the nuclear power plant and do something he enjoys - when marge declares she's having Maggie. Homers telling the story of why there's hardly any photos of pics of Maggie in the family album, at the end of the episode he says he keeps them where they mean the most, and it's revealed they're all over his work station so it says 'do it for her' - moves me even writing it.

BoomBoomsCousin · 30/06/2018 23:24

i don’t think it’s pathetic to put photos of your family on your desk but I wouldn’t do it. I’m not much into photos in frames. For me they would just be clutter after the first day and I can’t see the point in it. I have plenty of photos on my phone to look at when I want to and they are constantly updated.

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 30/06/2018 23:55

I hate family photos on desks. You're there to work.

For some reason this made me giggle. I really doubt a few photos on your desk are going to prevent you from working.

In answer to OP it's just personal taste. It's not inappropriate but not compulsory either.

WonderfulWonders · 01/07/2018 00:10

I have three framed photos of my DC on my desk.

I spent a lot of time in my office so have lots of personal touches

midnightmisssuki · 01/07/2018 00:13

Are they an agile working environment? If so - yabu.

If not - yanbu.

We are agile working and therefore not permitted to have anything on our desks.

lentillover · 01/07/2018 00:26

@crispysausagerolls yes! that episode is the first thing I thought of when I saw this thread.
I love that episode I cried just describing it to someone

LeighaJ · 01/07/2018 01:06

I have a huge desk at work but I need every inch of space to work and I don't like clutter on it of any kind so no family pics.

My husband doesn't like looking like he's throwing his personal life in the faces of colleagues so none for him either.

There is a family photo on our desk at home.

LeighaJ · 01/07/2018 01:08

Also to be honest I find it unprofessional.

YANBU to be bothered by it because those are your feelings. You would BU if you asked or expected him to put photos up to make you happy because he's made his feelings clear as well.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 01/07/2018 01:13

Adore my dd as I do. I know what she looks like so I don't need a carry a picture of her ever where I go. I'm only going to work. I'm.not going on a 5 year mission to Jupiter.

BakedBeans47 · 01/07/2018 01:16

I have a photo of my kids and all my colleagues and the bosses have pics of their families too.

Not sure how it hinders being able to work, is unprofessional, or means that you don’t keep your work and personal life separate. There are some right joyless fuckers on here.

RosyPrimroseface · 01/07/2018 01:18

it's YEA or nay. Not yay.

Sorry. Too late in the evening for me to restrain my spag ego.

BakedBeans47 · 01/07/2018 01:19

I always think of that wonderful Simpsons episode where Mr Burns has put “don’t forget you’re here forever” on his desk, and he has covered it with photos of Maggie so it says “do it for her” 💖

Yes I was thinking of this too reading this thread - love it

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