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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Family photos on desk at work - yay or nay?

111 replies

ParkerPen · 30/06/2018 16:17

Context - My dh works for an investment management firm in London. I popped into his office yesterday (we were meeting to go out for dinner) and I noticed that he didn't have any photos of our family on his desk, whereas the desks on either side had several photos of children.

I have loads of photos of our girls and family on my desk at work (I work for the NHS, not in London, and not private sector like dh), so thought this was a bit strange. I like having photos of lovely holidays to look at during the day.

Dh said that when you put photos of your kids on your desk, it's basically saying, "Don't sack me, I have a family to support." He thinks it's a bit pathetic.

Who is right?

OP posts:

Dljlr · 30/06/2018 17:44

My monitor and the small slice of wall next to my desk are smothered in pointed and very funny (imo) cartoons from Private Eye about misogyny and the lamentable state of HE. I work at a University, I think if my Head of School ever

SwedishEdith · 30/06/2018 17:44

Dljlr · 30/06/2018 17:44

...deigned to enter there he wouldn't be that impressed!

Piratefairy78 · 30/06/2018 17:47

I work for the civil service. I’m lucky if i get a desk near the team I manage some days let alone have any personal items. We don’t even have pedestals anymore. A small locker and have to carry everything about each day!

sw15007 · 30/06/2018 17:48

The big boss of where I used to work had lots of family photos in his office- head of a FTSE 100 type thing- never did him any harm..

SerenDippitty · 30/06/2018 17:55

I have a photo of my dog and one of my nephew, both small and unobtrusive (the photos that is). We aren’t allowed to have personal photos as desktops. One work colleague has had a family photo made into a mouse mat.

DeathlyPail · 30/06/2018 18:02

When I was company director in a small family firm with my own office, large desk etc. I have pictures of my family, my qualification certificates and some art on my walls. This was the 1990s

Now I work for a larger organisation and only have a desk, we are suppose to be 'clear desks' and with 2 large monitors and no wall space there is no room for framed photos.

My start up screen and wallpaper is pics of my family, although I no longer have a photo album as my screen saver as I decided that was in appropriate.

If I need a mindful minute or 15 I tend to disappear to a quiet room, or go for a walk or sometime hide out in the toilets. If I want to use my family as a focus I have a phone full of images.

I also usually get a least one per day from a DC or DH.

mozzybites · 30/06/2018 18:02

My DH has some at his desk I think but small ones, he is a senior management business type, I didn't as I worked with child sex abuse stuff and I really wanted work/home to be kept separate. Some people are more photo types than others.

parkermoppy · 30/06/2018 18:03

Where I work now has an clear desk policy but at my old job the girl at the desk next to me had three framed pictures of her dog. I found it kind of weird, I don't mean like a cute little picture but proper photo shoot style (the dog was still alive and well).
I think a little picture is sometimes nice but I also think my partner and family would cringe to think I had photos of them on my desk

Iceweasel · 30/06/2018 18:06

If you work away from home for days or longer at a time, fair enough. If you will see them that night, don't see the point.

hazyhazza · 30/06/2018 18:13

I have postcards of places we've been on holiday. None of my kids

PatchworkElmer · 30/06/2018 18:32

I have a picture of DS on my desk, but I’m actually planning to take it away now. I had a horrendous day on Friday, and seeing his little face just made me want to cry.

theymademejoin · 30/06/2018 18:34

I struggle to find my desk under all the crap on it (it's organised chaos really) so no, no photos. I had a few stuck on to the filing cabinet with magnets when they were younger and various pieces of "artwork" they gave me for my office stuck to the wall. I was afraid they'd remember they'd given them to me if they were in the office and they weren't there, so always stuck them up.

Only things I have now are a Bridget's cross one of them made years ago and a cute photo of one of the dogs as the background on my computer.

I find it's mainly people with younger children who have photos up in my workplace.

saucepotty · 30/06/2018 18:43

Why have family photos? Surely you can remember what they look like!

bellinisurge · 30/06/2018 18:50

We hot desk. I unpack a picture of my dd same as I unpack a pen and notebook.
I do it to remind me why I work. I do it for me to cheer me up ; as a moral booster. Before I had kids I had a photo of a place that was special to me.
It never occurred to me that I was giving out a "don't sack me" message.

BiteyShark · 30/06/2018 18:52

Why have family photos? Surely you can remember what they look like!

It's the emotional joy that people get looking at photos which remind them of something. I can remember lots of things I have taken a photo off but I still took the photo and like looking at them.

I like I think most people who have a photo on their desk do it to personalise an otherwise bland space that you spend 8+ hours sitting at a day.

givenchycallsmyname · 30/06/2018 18:54

@saucepotty I wholeheartedly agree!

LunaMay · 30/06/2018 19:13

We are supposed to hot desk but we all just kind of claimed a desk as there was more desks than people at the beginning.
I think out of an office of 5 i've seen 2 with photos on their desks, both with very young children at home. We work in the disability sector with children and we all have pictures on our partitions that the kids have done for us at some point.
Thats as far as ive personalised my desk as im aware that mine would be one of the first offered to any visiting workers/management as i usually only use it to check emails a few times a day. Where as the therapists spend a lot longer at their desks and have paper work everywhere. (Mines shoved organised in the filing cabinet under the desk).

muffinthepuffin · 30/06/2018 19:27

My mum used to be allowed two pictures in her locker, and she had one of the dog and one of me with Josh Lewsey, the England rugby player my poor Dad and sister!

Pinkandbluemcdonald5 · 30/06/2018 20:45

In my experience, those who have photos of family on the desk, talk non stop about their children. But have no interest in their colleagues at all. However, I accept my experience is not the rule.

FuckingHateRain · 30/06/2018 20:52

I have nothing, I wouldn't mind putting my kids though, definitely not DH!!!

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 30/06/2018 20:56

I hate family photos on desks. You're there to work

How exactly does a photo change how someone works?

Growingboys · 30/06/2018 21:01

I don't, nor does my husband.

I'm not mad on it but don't think it's really weird. If you worked away from home I'd understand it more, but it strikes me as a tiny bit odd if you see them morning and evening every day to need a pic of them there, too.

Having said which, if you have a shit job and have to grit your teeth and remind yourself why you're doing it, then I do get it.

JumbleJamba · 30/06/2018 21:06

I find it a bit sad when people say they have nothing personal around at work, and keep private life private. It's like youre not a real person for all the time you spend at work. And that so many hours of your life. I loathe workplace formality. Why can't you just be the person that you really are all the time. Wasting half the hours of your life being a robot. I dont work any more but at last place I worked everyone had photos and kids drawings up on their desks, there was no formal bollocks and we were all friends.

Eifla · 30/06/2018 21:09

@greendale17 “I think you will find that most people would regard your dog as your desktop background more cringeworthy”.

Oh yes. In a dog-friendly, pet-industry, office... I’m the laughing stock for sure ☺️🤷‍♀️

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