Colleague keeps blaming me for what she's eaten!

[WaterOffaDucksCrack]

Aibu to find this annoying? And it's making really self conscious about my size and shape.
She'll buy stuff for the office (only 4 of us in there) and eat it then turn to me and say "wow have you eaten all that oh my god". The other day I was eating a banana and she said "are you eating again?!" It was 13:00 and I hadn't eaten all day. I think she just has a strange relationship with food as she will say she can't eat xy and z but then eat it anyway. I've just had enough of it now it's getting me down. I feel anxious every time I go to eat.

For the record I'm 5ft 5 and size 10. I used to be 3st heavier so I'm still so conscious about my size as I could still stand to lose a stone or so.

It's ok if it's an Apple laptop though.

You should eat a rainbow though, so you'd need to balance it out with a couple of PCs and Raspberry Pi.

I'd be honest. Next time she says something, say "is there a reason why you need to comment on what I am eating? only I find it quite rude to be honest". And every time she says it in future.

I had this with an ex friend of mine, it's so damn rude!! I got rid in the end...was fed up of feeling guilty about food.

Really grates on me people who do this...take her to one side and just say "I would prefer if you didn't comment on my eating habits...thank you" if she continues say loudly I'm sorry but I have asked you to stop commenting on my eating habits now I'm telling you stop commenting on my eating habits! She is the one with the issue and projecting them onto you!

People are really funny about food sometimes. I've just lost quite a lot of weight, enough so I am (just) under BMI 25 for the first time in about 12 years. I am now getting comments that I shouldn't lose any more or I'll look gaunt or ill. As far as I am concerned I still need to lose at least a stone and preferably two (my old weightwatchers goal for my height and build is 17lb off still), but my police seems to have decided I'll look too thin. I'm a size 14/16 so not exactly stick thin.

I suspect it's because if I lose more I'll be thinner than they are. I am going with smile, nod and ignore.

OP I'd ignore. Or smile and nod. Or ask her to be professional. Or some such!

Regular laptops really bung me up, maybe Apples will keep me regular

OP, sounds like she's a feeder if she's bringing in food for the office? Does she make your colleagues feel uncomfortable too?

If she were a true feeder, she'd be encouraging people to eat in any way she could think of. It's more likely that she's just a knob.

Hmmm x you seem to have a lot of time on your hands to notice what and when I eat somaybe it’s time to look at your workload as you could certainly take more tasks.

Definitely go with rolling your eyes and writing down what she says in a special notebook.

I used to work with the diet police. She used to say loudly are you eating crisps AGAIN? Really loudly so everyone heard. I just smile and say things like “yes, they’re lovely, would you like one?” It passed her off mo end but it didn’t stop her.

If she brings in cakes and accuses you of eating them coukd you say something like “you now I’ve got Coeliac, are you sure you haven’t eaten them all? with a really concerned look on your face

If you are the boss. Is there anyway you can introduce a no food at desks policy?

*pissed her off no end

And 5’5” and a size 10 sounds really lovely to me OP. Enjoy what you have and don’t let others undermine your confidence

People get so weird about food in offices, and I think some people who are constantly on a diet are thinking about food all the time - so it spills out!

I used to have a colleague like this, she was obsessed with food and i felt a bit sorry for her as I think she had issues with eating. She’d always tell me how many calories were in my lunches/snacks despite me never asking. One time I had a mars bar early in the week and she saw me, looked shocked and said ‘wow that’s quite a treat - it’s not even Friday yet!!’

I started saying things like ‘it’s delicious - so worth it!’ and smiling to shut her down. One time I said ‘blimey you’re always commenting on my food aren’t you? Are you jealous?’ In a jokey way and it shut her up immediately.

Next time she asks you if you’re eating again while you’re mid banana try replying ‘no, I’m not’, and keep on denying it, you will confuse her no end.

Nothing to do with food, but just because people commenting on things you do which has nothing to do with them can make you feel bad: Where I used to live I used a small post office to return my catalogue items (which was not infrequent, I must admit!) However, every time I took a return in (but I'm not talking like every week or every other week) the lady (only one cashier) would always say something like "Gosh", you're sending something back again? I would smile sweetly and say Yes, but secretly think wtf's it got to do with you? 5'5, and size 10, WaterOff is pretty damn well perfect! (She obviously has hang ups)

Say "no we all know that's your food xxxx, don't worry - you enjoy it"

I think it's easier if you're her boss. Wait until you're alone and say, "I don't know whether you realise it, but you're very critical of the things I eat. You know I've lost a lot of weight and I'm trying to eat healthily. Would you mind not talking about what I eat? You'll notice I don't talk about what you eat."

What can she say to that?

Next time she asks you if you’re eating again while you’re mid banana try replying ‘no, I’m not’, and keep on denying it, you will confuse her no end.

^

This

If you’re her boss then the clever come backs aren’t really appropriate (good though many are!). You really need to address it as feedback in a supervisory meeting. If she does it to you she may well do it to others and it’s not appropriate office behaviour. So next time you have some sort of one-on-one meeting with her say something to her about not making personal comments about others in the office and use one or two of her comments to you as examples. Say something along the lines of you don’t know if she says similar things to others in the office, but it’s not appropriate to anyone. You don’t appreciate it and it needs to stop. (Don’t mention the bit about her saying she can’t eat X but doing so anyway, that gives context to us about her relationship with food and may be annoying, but it’s not inappropriate or a personal comment to others).

Very Professional Hollow and probably what the OP should do but not as much fun as Bluths suggestion

Blimey she sounds bitter! Jealous of your weight loss plus the fact that you are both younger than her AND her boss. Like you said, she seems to have an unhealthy relationship with food. I wonder if this is her way of exercising some control over her life?

Christ I do not miss the lunch police in my last job !
My final act of rebellion was to eat a full family pack of liquorish all sorts whilst keeping eye contact ( I'd only bought them to get change of £10 note, was going to give them to my niece and nephew to share) . Food police had done a very loud " Wow, are you going to eat some, very naughy !!"
My stomach was agony , but by god it was worth it after 5 years of comments about anything I ate

You need to call her up on it, otherwise she’ll drive you crazy. I think something simple like, “do you mind me asking, why are you always commenting on what I eat?”

I used to work with a woman who had major food hang-ups. She’d say things like “another high calorie lunch today then?!” Or “do YOU really need that?” while looking me up and down with disgust.....

To the "eating again?" comment I'd likely say something like, "You mean, because I ate yesterday? Yes, and there's every chance I'm going to eat tomorrow as well". Then stretch my eyes very wide and take another bite.

Thanks everyone, you've make me feel loads better! She didn't actually know me when I was fat just for the record. I think I'm going to go with the idea of writing it all down along with the dates and times.

Once I actually said to her "you're making me really self conscious about my eating and my weight I hate it when people comment on what I'm eating". She made me feel like I was a bit crazy as she was all apoligies and "I didn't mean it like that" bla bla bla

It's possible that she was just thoughtless and genuinely didn't mean it that way. There are people around who are that obtuse.

Either way, she doesn't deserve any headspace on your part.

Lizzie48 I used to think that but then it's always when no one else is around! You're right about headspace though!