Colleague keeps blaming me for what she's eaten!

[WaterOffaDucksCrack]

Aibu to find this annoying? And it's making really self conscious about my size and shape.
She'll buy stuff for the office (only 4 of us in there) and eat it then turn to me and say "wow have you eaten all that oh my god". The other day I was eating a banana and she said "are you eating again?!" It was 13:00 and I hadn't eaten all day. I think she just has a strange relationship with food as she will say she can't eat xy and z but then eat it anyway. I've just had enough of it now it's getting me down. I feel anxious every time I go to eat.

For the record I'm 5ft 5 and size 10. I used to be 3st heavier so I'm still so conscious about my size as I could still stand to lose a stone or so.

I would keep a little notebook on my desk, and start writing it down very obviously. So, she says some, just roll your eyes, reach for the book and write down her comment along with date and time, and a bit of context if necessary. E.g.
22/6/18 1pm "are you eating again?" my first meal of day.
23/6/18 "did you really eat all of them?" re cakes, purchased and eaten by X.

It'll unnerve her no end and means she can't accuse you of being rude to her. (As she sounds the type to run to HR)

X-post you're her boss? Definitely write it down! She'll shut up sharpish if she knows what's good for her.

I sit next to a man at work who eats all day and makes the most revolting noises. I mean slurping, belching, sucking, crunching... it is vile. I never say anything. But if I ever eat at my desk he has to make some disparaging comment, like 'did you know Scotch eggs are bad for you?'

In your case it sounds like your colleague is joking and assumes you find it funny too. If you're a size 10, you're slim!

My aunt does things like this. She's not slim. Once when I was a teenager we were having a family lunch out. She asked me if I was having a dessert and I said I might have a tiramisu. She looked horrified and grinned and said, "A whole one??"

I swear, I then ordered two. And ate them, with much beaming and eye contact. I felt sick the rest of the day and I'm sure I gained two pounds that week but it was SO WORTH IT. My family still laugh about it to this day. "A whole one" has become a family joke. When I said to my mother, "We've had our offer accepted on our first house", she replied, "A whole one??"

Start keeping an incident diary, and tell her to keep her comments restricted to work. You wouldn't tolerate it if she were doing this to someone else.

The people who do this seem to have all the calorie requirements etc off and are obsessed with healthy eating but never do it themselves and are overweight. I know my office food tormentor is like this.

As you're her boss I'd say something like:

Person comments are not welcome, why don't you try being professional.

Personal*. Bloody phone!

Throw it right back at her. "I am size ten. How about you?"

that's brill! A whole one! adapt that & make a list of food you have eaten with calories etc & say " if you need any more info please let me know! Oh & perhaps if you like we should make a list of your food to compare notes" & smile nicely & politely

Whoa, you're the boss? I missed that. No need for passive aggressive office politics games then (much as we all love them), just do what you'd do with any of your staff who are winding people up. Take her aside for a quiet word and tell her directly that her comments about what people are eating aren't welcome, and would she kindly refrain in future. Then carry on.

"She'll buy stuff for the office"
Ok that's weird already.

Possibilities are

• do it back to her every time she eats something (would be OK if you and she were equals, but as you're her boss probably not wise).

• be bright and breezy. 'Have you eaten all that?' 'Yes, of course'

• speak to her officially. How would you deal with it if she was doing it to someone else on your team?

She's almost certainly jealous that she's still the size she is but you've lost a lot of weight. That's her problem. But whatever you do, please don't let her undermine your confidence about eating and don't start to question yourself. Try to stop feeling anxious abut eating out. Eating is kind of essential if you want to see your next birthday.

You've done brilliantly. Now use the strength and determination you had to lose the weight to deal with her.

@AynRandTheObjectivist - Your username is unsettling, but your tiramisu post has made me fall in love with you a bit. SO conflicted . . .

@KittyHawke80, :D If it helps, my username is a complete pisstake...

She's very rude and needs pulling up for this. As you're her boss, it's time for you to pull rank on her.

Jesus wept! Don't take anything she brings in and tell her to stop commenting on what people eat as it's rude and unprofessional.

As her boss it really is for you to address this behaviour. Managing difficult people effectively is a very useful skill to learn!

Well, it helps me, but it might not help you 😍

Agree what the others have said about pulling her up on it. If she did it to another colleague they would report it to you as their manager and you'd be obliged to do something then. She sounds very rude and insecure.

Also, the point about banning cakes from the office. I HATE this. The point of being in a diet is exercising self control. If someone can't say no to a cake because it happens to be there then they've no chance at succeeding. I'm quite conscious about what I eat and there's always cakes, biscuits and sweets about and I just say no thank you when offered!

I have an overweight friend who lectures me about food too; last week she said she was worried about me because I eat 'too many lentils'*

• my pad corrected lentils to laptops, that would be a cause for concern

New WHO guidelines say that women over 25 should not eat more than one laptop per week. Fact.

It's ok if it's an Apple laptop though.

Tell her to fuck off.

Definitely calls for a "Did you mean to be so rude".