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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teen dd has just caused a whole flipping argument because

61 replies

Takethemdown · 29/06/2018 20:06

She realised that she had lost the front off a cheap pound shop watch (one of those you press and it shows the number through the cover) while on the way back from buying a take away (big treat for us) but didn't know if she had lost it earlier in the day and I said its okay it doesn't matter we can replace it.

Apparently that wasn't the right response and she bit my head off that she couldn't believe I had said that. I asked what she wanted me to say as there was no point me having a big fuss and tantrum about it.
She thought I was saying she was having a tantrum and lost her shit. I explained what I meant. She still lost her shit more.

So ensued a one hour tantrum over the fact she has lost a bloody replaceable bit of rubber off a replaceable cheap watch.

Iabu to give up?

OP posts:
PutTheBunnyBackInTheBox · 29/06/2018 20:09

Teenagers are stroppy creatures but I wouldn't be happy about her losing her shit!

Is she always rude to you?

BarbarianMum · 29/06/2018 20:09

Y would not be being U to lock yourself in the spare room withthe whole takeaway and a Wine

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 29/06/2018 20:12

Heat+teenage hormones+parent offering logical solution= not worth the hassle Grin

Original poster
Takethemdown · 29/06/2018 20:18

The rudeness is a new feature. I mean she's always had her moments but the last few weeks she's been awful.
She swore at me this week because she didn't know where her keys were and I expected her to look for them.
She rang me yesterday to say the lunch she had made herself was mouldy. I asked if she had checked it that morning rather than just bunging it in her bag and she talked to me in that slow patronising voice people do when talking to someone they think is stupid.

She's lost her phone being topped up with data and her nails being done already.

She's just had a huge drama that she won't eat the takeaway because it will be cold and conjealed. (sp) I pointed out that it was still hot. So then she wouldn't eat it because she felt sick. I said fine went and ate mine. She moaned about wasting it,i said I wasn't bothered and would wash the sauce of and give it to the dog.

She then had a huge strop, said I had made her feel guilty for wasting it and dished herself some out :S

I've left her to it.
Friendships are fine and she has been off school this week so no issues with school. In fact she has had a lovely week. Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Takethemdown · 29/06/2018 20:20

*off
Please tell me its the heat! (hopeful)

OP posts:
Notevilstepmother · 29/06/2018 20:31

Teenagers.

Loveatthefiveanddime · 29/06/2018 20:33

I always think...it looks bad to us from the outside, it must be one whole lot more hectic inside their heads.

PhaedrasChocolate · 29/06/2018 20:36

It's not JUST the heat... I'm sorry to tell you, but this bit lasts a while. It's hateful. Just ride it out WineFlowers

kitkatsky · 29/06/2018 20:36

Ugh I'm dreading this! But the hormones are one thing and being rude is something else entirely. Hugs and virtual wine for you!

kaytee87 · 29/06/2018 20:39

PMS?

AgentHannahWells · 29/06/2018 20:39

Teens 😂

Teen: I can't find my bus pass
Me: Is it in x place
Teen: (checks x place) Oh well I've FOUND IT NOW (huff)

mathanxiety · 29/06/2018 20:40

Just let it wash over you. They all have their moments.

Best to just not engage if you find it getting under your skin. Smile and get busy doing something else.

The speaking slowly and patronising though - hang up if she starts that again. You don't have to put up with that. If she complains about you hanging up, tell her it's her own time she's wasting if she thinks she can talk to you in that tone.

If she tries something similar face to face, do not engage with whatever it is that she is saying, just respond slowly and in a serious voice, "Nobody talks to me like that," and leave the room.

Swearing - similar.

If it continues or gets worse, trap her in the car one day and tell her you are not to be treated like that. Maybe you could think of some consequences - no car privileges? No phone for a couple of days?

LynetteScavo · 29/06/2018 20:40

I think teenage girls tend to have better verbal skills than teenage boys, which is why they can seem so rude. Or maybe it's just my DC.

Last night my 12yo DD had a short lived but dramatic tantrum because she found out her school might, might be banning smart phones, but non smart phones would be allowed for safeguarding reasons.

Apparently this = her 13th birthday present being a brick.

There was swearing and cushion throwing and real tears. Hmm

FatBarry · 29/06/2018 20:41

Is this your first teen? 😂The shitty attitude ones beat the ones that get brought home in a police van. I've had both, they are now both graduate adults in professional jobs.

Don't rise to the bait. Withdraw privileges, don't give them money.

It's usually temporary, if you can call several years temporary.

ShesSoUnusual · 29/06/2018 20:41

I think that sometimes they just feel like losing their shit and it's a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. You have my sympathies though. I have two teen nightmares DDs.

Shockers · 29/06/2018 20:43

It was a full moon this week.

Full moons turn DD into the narkiest git ever, and have ever since she was small.

Singlenotsingle · 29/06/2018 20:43

You can't do right for doing wrong, can you? Teenagers and their hormones! Shock

beautifulgirls · 29/06/2018 20:47

mine gets a warning to stop the attitude and/or rudeness and then gets her phone confiscated for 24hrs if she carries on. If she protests she is warned I'll add another 24hrs and she usually stops. I carry out the threat if she doesn't. It doesn't stop her trying it on frequently but it certainly stops the persistent stroppiness over several hours which wears you down. She lost her phone early on for quite a lot of the time. She knows I mean it now and life is nicer for us all.

Ruffian · 29/06/2018 20:52

I would never stand for being sworn at, teen or no teen.

GeekyBlinders · 29/06/2018 20:55

Most I of the time when I was a teenager, I felt like I had a ball of barbed wire inside my head - presumably the hormones.

LynetteScavo · 29/06/2018 20:55

@Ruffian the swearing by my DD was NOT tolerated, let me assure you! Although it wasn't at us, which would have been worse.

Original poster
Takethemdown · 29/06/2018 20:59

It's the first time she's sworn hence the loss of phone.
It's my first teen girl and thankfully last!
I did hang up when she talked to me like an idiot
Not pms as that has passed passed last week.

OP posts:
MurielsBottom · 29/06/2018 21:00

It's the logical solutions that you offer that top them over the edge...

I am now on teen DD no 2.

IHaveBrilloHair · 29/06/2018 21:03

Teenager syndrome

dementedma · 29/06/2018 21:04

have survived two teen girls and just have 16 year old DS to go.
swearing at me never, ever happened, even in the worst strops. It was just such a no go area that they didn't dare!
Ds has been fine so far.
I think they were all most difficult at around 12-15. It starts to wear off after that but compared to some threads on here we got off lightly.