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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take the children to this party?

51 replies

NoWittyNamesAvailable · 29/06/2018 13:04

My DS's have been invited to a birthday party that is taking place tomorrow. My husband unexpectedly has the day off work, this rarely happens on a weekend. We'd like to go out for the day but i feel guilty about not sending the boys to their friends party. The same child had a party last weekend, which my boys did go to so wouldn't be taking a card or present to this second one (childs parents have split up and when mum said she was doing a party dad decided he wanted to do one also). So would ibu to text the dad tomorrow and send our apologies and spend the day with my husband?

OP posts:
therockinggazelle · 29/06/2018 13:08

Yes you would be. Let the kids go to the party and do something together afterwards/ before.

OrchidInTheSun · 29/06/2018 13:10

Your children have a prior commitment. Go and do something nice with your DH

Butterymuffin · 29/06/2018 13:14

It's not good to pull out at the last minute. Go somewhere local for the earlier part of the day, then when the boys are at the party, you and your DH go and sit out in the sun for a drink together?

Peterrabbitscarrots · 29/06/2018 13:16

YABU if you have already accepted the invitation

GinisLife · 29/06/2018 13:18

And this is what hacks me off so much as a society that people think it's perfectly ok to bail on a pre-arranged commitment because they get a better offer. Grrrrrr

Original poster
NoWittyNamesAvailable · 29/06/2018 13:21

Its not a party i could leave them at, they are 2 and 3 years old. Theres not a lot we could do either side either as its 12:30-3:30. I know the answer is to take them to the party. Only 3 weeks left till nursery finishes for the summer and we can do family days out then i guess. Either way the boys will have a fun day tomorrow.

OP posts:
DieAntword · 29/06/2018 13:22

Do you not want to spend time with your husband without the kids? I'd be happy you have somewhere to send them while we catch up myself.

Original poster
NoWittyNamesAvailable · 29/06/2018 13:24

Ginislife, it's not something i would have generally even thought of doing except for the fact we went to her birthday party last weekend so have already celebrated it with her. I hadn't said definitely that we would go as ds3 has his 12 week jabs this afternoon, so in theory we could all end up going nowhere at all if he's not feeling great tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
NoWittyNamesAvailable · 29/06/2018 13:26

Dieantword, I'd absoloutely love to spend time alone with him. But with 3 under 4, and the youngest being a 12 week old who is ebf its neigh on impossible at the moment.

OP posts:
Myotherusernameisbest · 29/06/2018 13:27

TBH if you've said they will go then they really should go. On a seperate note, are you saying a 2/3 year old is having 2 birthday parties? Thats just mental.

Myotherusernameisbest · 29/06/2018 13:29

Could you go for a nice picnic in the park with everyone? Take some ball games or something and after the party spend the afternoon and early evening doing that with kids and dh. Your kids are really young and would love that just as much as a paid for day somewhere.

DaanSaaf · 29/06/2018 13:31

Missing the point here but a 3 hour kids party? Shock

KellyBailey · 29/06/2018 13:33

On a seperate note, are you saying a 2/3 year old is having 2 birthday parties? Thats just mental

What I was thinking too, young children's birthday parties are hellish, I'd resent having to attend two for the same child just because separated parents can't act grown up enough to attend a party together for their child's sake. That said, if you promised to go to both you would be unreasonable to back out now.

Juells · 29/06/2018 13:35

Oh FFS they're tiny children, who went to the party last weekend. I'd suit myself, particularly if you haven't definitely said they're going.

gillybeanz · 29/06/2018 13:36

Yes, spend the day together, your kids went to the child's party last week. They are little and would enjoy the family time much better, they'll be lots more parties, but maybe not an unexpected weekend like this.
YADDDDDDDefintelyNBU

Nofunkingworriesmate · 29/06/2018 13:36

I would not support parents having rival parties but then if I'd said I'd be there, I'd be there not nice if everyone has same idea.

Loyaultemelie · 29/06/2018 13:37

Going against the grain, you haven't said you will definitely go so I wouldn't be overly worried about not, especially when you have already celebrated with the child

likeacrow · 29/06/2018 13:37

Can't you just dip in for an hour then leave? To me that's a perfectly acceptable amount of time to stay with kids that young anyway.

WerkSupp · 29/06/2018 13:38

YABU. Still plenty of time to go out for an evening BBQ or picnic.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 29/06/2018 13:40

THREE hours for a toddlers birthday party?

Good grief!

keepingbees · 29/06/2018 13:41

I don't think it's unreasonable at all. If your children rarely get time with their daddy on a weekend then to me that's more valuable than a party, of which there will be many. Young children's party's are normally chaotic and it's unlikely your children will be missed. I would be honest and explain to the child's dad though asap

PuddlesOfBud · 29/06/2018 13:43

I would not be attending Dad's "I want a party too" party anyway tbh. Yo've already been, it's weird you were invited twice

Juells · 29/06/2018 13:43

Even when my children were little I'd have paid good money not to have to go to a birthday party 😂

PuddlesOfBud · 29/06/2018 13:44

OH and you haven't even properly said you'd go?

WHy even would you??

OrchidInTheSun · 29/06/2018 13:47

Oh, they're tiny children. That's completely different! I thought they were school age. I revise my position in that case