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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really p****d off at sahm neighbour upstairs who is making me want to clobber her!!

135 replies

itbird · 24/05/2007 21:23

try to brief - i have ds(2) and DD(10) i go to work five days a week out of the flat by 7.45am, drop ds at cm and dd at school, i come home and elephant woman sahm sunbathing all afternoon, her kids coming in my garden, her drinking wine all afternoon, on benefits that i pay for, then i have the stomping about and screaming kids til at least 9pm!!!i no longer talk to her as i complained and she turned quite nasty and wanted to argue the toss about it on the doorstep, i could complain to landlord about it, if it gets much worse over the summer i probably will, ok calm now that i have got that off my chest!!

OP posts:
kimi · 25/05/2007 17:24

itbird and nixz, i totally see what you are saying, and I agree that some people "play" the system.

I used to work in a pub and one family I knew quite well were forever propping up the bar, neither mum or dad worked, he was "on the sick" and she was his "carer" when their 15 year old daughter had twins they would bring the babies in to the smoky pub and sit there drinking most of the day, people like this piss me off.
My sister who has worked since leaving school and pays 40% tax has cancer, she had to give up work and it was hell trying to get any sickness benefit, she was treated like a 3rd class person and after 3 months got a whopping £44 a week!!!

She is now working again, our parents taught us there is no free ride in life, you want things you work for them.
The system that was set up to help people who truly need it like my sis did for a time is not working because too many people see it as a right to have a free ride.

At the moment I am a SAHM, but I do not claim benefits, I am very very lucky DP has a very good job, but will be going back to work soon as I have always paid my way and see no reason not to.

kimi · 25/05/2007 17:30

I also know what it is like to have bad neighbours as we had some backing on to us that were just the family from hell, We got them kicked out in the end as we found out they were housing association and sent in a petition to have them moved [god help who has them now] they used to play loud music, fight and row and swear in the garden all the time, steal cars and burn bits of them in the garden, and the police were forever there.

Everyone was so glad when they were removed.

Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 17:45

what annoys me is the intrusion into my peace, you know when you get the kids to bed, want to sit and relax, then you have to listen to someone elses kids and parent making noise like they live in a detached house, its the lack of consideration. Shoot me for saying this but if she had a job then she would get her kids to bed at a reasonable time as she would have to get up in the morning, its a different way of life when you work

OP posts:
kimi · 25/05/2007 17:50

talking about noisy neighbours on 5 news now.

lyrabelacqua · 25/05/2007 18:16

I don't get why everyone is having a go at the OP. She was just having a rant, like we all do from time to time.
I'm sorry you're having such a tough time, they sound like a nightmare. We've got horrible neighbours who don't speak to us but at least they're quiet (no children, no loud music).
Not really sure what you can do about it though, apart from reporting the noise to the council.

fillyjonk · 25/05/2007 18:19

I think the difficulty is that the OP seems to feel that the neighbour being a SAHM and on benefits is somehow relevant.

Fine to moan about noisy neighbours, not so fine to chuck in an attack on SAHM and people on benefits IMO.

DeviousDaffodil · 25/05/2007 18:36

OP - you have my sympathy.
And sorry but there are loads of lazyites like she describes out there. I come across tehm everyday.
There are decent people on benefits doing a good job of parenting.
Tehn there are SAHM who are not being Mums at all. They do just chuck their kids in the street and don't give a toss where they are.
I have sympathy for the OP neighbours from hell can drive you to distraction.
And people who work do pay for the benefits that is what income tax is.

Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 18:58

Thanks guys for your support, i did not attack people on benefits, i said i was contributing to the welfaare state by working which in turn allows her to o sit around drinkng wine and sunbathing while i was at work, is that a difficult concept for some of you to understand. the repercussions of her failure to contribute is that she makes god awful noise without a care for anyone else. That is linked in my opinion, if she had to contribute by working she would not be sitting around all day reading take a break and getting sloshed.

OP posts:
fillyjonk · 25/05/2007 19:00

its not at all a difficult concept no

its just a rather patronising and rude one

Twiglett · 25/05/2007 19:02

you sound rather jealous to me

shame

poor you

Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 19:09

Yes really jealous, would love to be at home with my ds ooow for about a fortnight is tops for me. Cant see how it is rude and patronising somehow. Enlighten me, what are the attractions of a sahm on benefits when you have the choice to go and work ? Lots of jobs around this way, lots of part-time work, excellent childcare facilities, the problem is what?

OP posts:
DeviousDaffodil · 25/05/2007 19:13

Unfortunately ITbird there are people who probably never come into contact wwith people like your neighbour.
There are a large number of people out there who are happy to collect their benefits and do bugger all day in day out.
They do sit around drinking and fagging it. Why bother getting a job? They have no ambition and are quite happy to spend the rest of their days livivng on handouts whilst their delinquent children roam the streets.
I sit back and await teh Daily Mail reder comments.....

DeviousDaffodil · 25/05/2007 19:13

I mean people on here who have never come into contact withthe likes of your neighbour..

Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 19:28

How lovely that life would be Daffy!! All quiet at the mo, fingers crossed for an elephant stomping free evening!! In fact i might crack open a bottle of something and put me lovely Amy Winehouse on the stereo, it is friday after all, hard week at work, time to relax, no work until wednesday Yippee!!

OP posts:
mishw · 25/05/2007 19:28

itbird if I were you I would ignore the comments. Maybe saying SAHM wasn;t the best idea, however anyone with any sense would see you were having a rant about your neighbour, not at SAHMs in general (as I said I'm a SAHM and you didn;t offend me at all!) the same goes for benefits.

nightowl · 25/05/2007 19:35

not every mum on benefits is lazy.

not every lazy mum is on benefit.

Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 19:37

Mishw, exactly what it was, a rant. Aplogies to all sahm on benefits - you have the hardest job, one that i could not do! Now go and get a Bleeding job!! (joke)lol

OP posts:
Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 19:41

But what are the benefits to being a lazy mum?

OP posts:
nightowl · 25/05/2007 19:43

oh how funny.

you should be glad you pay for these benefits itgirl because one day you may be unfortunate enough to need them.

and then i'll come on and tell you to get a bleeding job.

from someone who has worked ever since leaving school but had to claim benefits twice, after redundancy twice

nightowl · 25/05/2007 19:43

sorry itbird, not itgirl

Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 19:48

Calm down nightowl it was said as a joke lol notice at the end. I was on income support for about 18months when dd was a wee baby, could not stand the intrusion, wanting to know everything about your life, found i had no say in anything to with my finances, so i went back to work pdq. If that doesnt bother you then fine, but dont stomp on my damn ceiling!

OP posts:
Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 19:52

And how do sahm on benefits survive, i received a paltry amount, couldnt survive longterm on benefits, what about all your expenses : car, clothes, decent food, holidays, insurances etc ? How do you do it? i couldnt!

OP posts:
nightowl · 25/05/2007 19:53

ok itbird point taken, but i do get wound up about this because i hated claiming benefit and i was put down and patronised at every turn when i actually wanted to work and was trying to get another job. even a joke like that would have probably made me cry all night.

as for noisy neighbours, yes it must be annoying but heck, dont bring benefits into it! so working parents can't be noisy? of course they can!

nappyaddict · 25/05/2007 19:54

this woman's children are not yet at school. i think it should be a parents right to stay at home and yes claim benefits if they need to without getting jumped on, at least until all their children are at school.

i keep my ds up til 10pm sometimes, because yes i like a lie in. i think it is up to her when she sends her kids to bed.

also they may not actually be stomping. this year i lived in a ground floor flat and the flat above were always "stomping" around. it wasn't til we went up to complain we realised they were just walking about normally and the ceilings were really thin.

nappyaddict · 25/05/2007 19:55

some people actually enjoy staying at home and looking after their kids depsite their being many good jobs and great childcare facilities.