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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be really p****d off at sahm neighbour upstairs who is making me want to clobber her!!

135 replies

itbird · 24/05/2007 21:23

try to brief - i have ds(2) and DD(10) i go to work five days a week out of the flat by 7.45am, drop ds at cm and dd at school, i come home and elephant woman sahm sunbathing all afternoon, her kids coming in my garden, her drinking wine all afternoon, on benefits that i pay for, then i have the stomping about and screaming kids til at least 9pm!!!i no longer talk to her as i complained and she turned quite nasty and wanted to argue the toss about it on the doorstep, i could complain to landlord about it, if it gets much worse over the summer i probably will, ok calm now that i have got that off my chest!!

OP posts:

nappyaddict · 25/05/2007 01:09

isn't it illegal to film people without their knowledge?

i think i'd do it though if i could do it subtly.

i sit with ds in the garden and have a glass of wine. doesn't mean i'm lazy and can't be arsed to go to work every day.

akaJamiesMum · 25/05/2007 06:17

If she is dealing drugs it will be a nightmare. My auntie had this a while back from a neighbour - people coming and going all hours of the day and night. Discuss with the police for advice about that one.

There is a difference between a SAHM (which I am at the moment) and someone who is playing the system - believe me there are plenty of them out there.
Trouble is - if we believe there should be a benefit system to support the genuine people who need it(and I do believe there should be)then we also have to accept that there are always going to be people who will never make any contribution. This lady could be one of those - I don't know her so I don't know her situation. However, she sounds a nightmare of a neighbour.

agnesnitt · 25/05/2007 11:50

Nightmare neighbours are a perfectly okay reason to rant. The state of the neighbours finances/size/garden are neither here nor there.

Agnes

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 25/05/2007 11:54

I think your best bet is to get a different interest, rather than spying on and worrying about your neighbours.
If you are out at work all day how do you know she spends all afternoon sunbathing and drinking wine?

Original poster

itbird · 25/05/2007 12:02

Devil, i know because she has to sit in the communal garden as she has no garden,this is next to car park which is where i park my car,hardly spying dear when i am at work and not at home until gone two. live and let live is my approach but when my ds is in bed at 8pm and i have to llisten to her and children/friends literally stomping above my head then it does annoy me.

OP posts:

nappyaddict · 25/05/2007 12:28

how is she playing the system though? are you saying she is not entitled to the benefits she is getting?

Original poster

itbird · 25/05/2007 12:43

on blimey!!
the reason i refered to her as an elephant is that she is very heavy footed,she lives above me, nothing to do with her being a sahm.

I pay income tax, she is on income support etc therefore my part of contribution is spent on providing benefits for people that need them.

Nappy i am a single mother although i work which i do for money, sanity, lots of reasons, being a single parent doesnt exclude you from work, my ds is younger than both of hers, yet i drag myself out of bed every morning!

the point of my moan was the noise issue, all the other things i said were a rant !!Was a sahm myself for about two years myself, personally i like a mix of the two: work and homelife. I offended anyone, apologies

OP posts:

Original poster

itbird · 25/05/2007 12:47

nappy never said she was playing the system,

OP posts:

kittyhas6 · 25/05/2007 12:54

itbird, if you said that postboxes were red and that black cabs were , well, black, someone would take offence and accuse you of 'dissing' postboxes and black cabs as well as being racists, sexist ans franly unpleasant. it's the way of MN

nappyaddict · 25/05/2007 12:54

so if shes entitled to the benefits she receives wots wrong with that? does she have a dp?

nappyaddict · 25/05/2007 12:55

how old are her ds'?

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 25/05/2007 13:15

How do you even know what she does?
Maybe she works unsociable hours, maybe she works from home.
Noise from neighbours is a different matter to commenting on their lifestyle and making sweeping statements.

akaJamiesMum · 25/05/2007 16:05

Nope - it was me who said "some people play the system" - not referring to this lady who I don't know. However, in the interests of keeping the benefits system going (and I fully support this) then we have to accept that some people will never contribute anything to that system. There are a myriad of reasons why people don't contribute - but that could be a whole other thread.

Nuisence neighbours on the other hand are a pain in the backside of everyone around them.This lady would probably be an equal pain even if she were working.

Original poster

itbird · 25/05/2007 16:48

She doesnt work at all, we are a friendly bunch round here and i was good friends with her until the noise issue, her children are nearly four and nearly five.
Just come back from work, toddler group collecting dd from school, shopping, she i ssitting in car park reading a magazine,not a problem but then we get ambushed by her kids when we try to go indoors. why cant she take her kids to the park, its been like this for weeks - none of this is to do with benefits but if she her rent and basic expenses are being covered then where is the incentive to get a life and letting everyone else here enjoy a peace life !!

OP posts:

Mrbatters · 25/05/2007 16:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hercules1 · 25/05/2007 16:55

I hate violence and find that worse than someone being a sahm and on benefits.

Original poster

itbird · 25/05/2007 16:59

oh dont you pay income tax then? what i said was that i contribute to the system that is in place.

OP posts:

Original poster

itbird · 25/05/2007 17:02

have you ever had a noisy neighbour? of course i would never go and actually clobber her but it drives you to despair to listen to the thumping, even if i turn the tv right up i can still hear the vibrations. oh to have peace loving neightbours like you lot lol.

OP posts:

Mrbatters · 25/05/2007 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mishw · 25/05/2007 17:08

I think everyone is being too hard on the OP - sometimes people just want to have a rant. To those of you offended by her have you ever been in a similar situation - if not then you are not really able to comment.

Our neighbours are also the neighbours from hell though things have quietened down recently.

She is also a (I won't say SAHM) non working mother - officially. Apparently the work she does all evening is voluntarty. Her two teenage daughters were a nightmare with their loud parites waking me, DH and DDs up, that has since been dealt with so things are better.

What really pisses me off is that she gets everything paid for by the state (not a problem for those who genuinely need it - she doesn;t she needs to get off her arse and go and get a proper job) and manages to have a very nice holiday abroad every year - something that me and DH are unable to do as we have to pay for everything. Maybe we too should stop working and claim for what we are entitled too.

And before anyone has a go at me I have claimed benefits in the past (and am also trying to do at the moment), however as soon as I am able to I will be back at work, working my arse off trying to be a good role model for my 2DD and paying back into the system that has helped me.

To itbird and nixz, I hope you manage to fins a way to resolve the problems with your neighbours soon.

Original poster

itbird · 25/05/2007 17:10

it means the same - obviously i dont pay for all of her benefits - that implies that i am the sole tax payer of the uk, gosh even i dont earn that much. Do you want a sub til your benefits are paid? Miaow!!!!

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Original poster

itbird · 25/05/2007 17:15

cheers mishw, thought i had gone onto a forum for sahm with a sack of spuds on their shoulders. Thank you for understanding the wildness that nuisance neighbours can cause XX

OP posts:

hercules1 · 25/05/2007 17:16

I'm not a sahm

lulumama · 25/05/2007 17:17

nuisance neighbours and SAHMs can be mutually exclusive!!

Original poster

itbird · 25/05/2007 17:19

good for you hercules but are you a nuisance neighbour, that was my original gripe, couldnt give a ff about sahm's nothing to do with me or mine

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