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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect other parents to support a preschool fundraising events?

191 replies

Pregnantabroad · 28/06/2018 11:52

I'm organising a fundraiser for our small preschool. They're struggling to meet the funding needs so I've organised a ticketed evening event and I'm really surprised at how little support there is from other parents (availability and suitability aside - it's on a Friday night and aimed at women). I know I can sell the tickets to other friends and contacts in the village but I'm disappointed by the reaction of fellow parents.
I'm curious to know why people would and wouldn't support events and if there's anything I could do next time to influence parents better? Should I take the guilt-trip route (preschool struggling financially)? Or does that put people off? Any advice appreciated!

OP posts:
Justwaitingforaline · 28/06/2018 16:52

DD’s pre school had a similar financial issue recently and at a PTA meeting, we all agreed unanimously that we’d contribute a consumable fee per day a child is there which works well for everyone. They’re having a summer fete in July which I’ll be attending and people can have tables for £4 if they so want one.

I’d happily attend a bake sale and make cakes for one. I wouldn’t attend a women’s only evening purely because my social anxiety is crippling and where fine with DD ( and DH sometimes) and daytime events such as a fete, being alone with a group of people I didn’t know would just send shivers down my spine.

Troika · 28/06/2018 16:56

I know you don’t want comments on the actual event but I think a) it’s a pretty niche interest and unlikely to attract the masses and b) it’s expensive!

£9 to go to something I don’t really want to go to but am going to purely to help the preschool? No. £3? More likely.

At my dc school the popular events are a bingo event (straight after school), pub quiz (sometimes straight after school, sometimes in the evening) and the summer fete. I’ll quite happily pay a couple of pounds to do the bingo or quiz, I’ll come to the summer fete for a few hours and spend money on the stalls there. I’ll pay £3 for my child to stay a bit longer after school and watch a film or go to a disco.

An open afternoon to look at work/ speak to staff goes down well with parents buying drinks and cake. Not everyone can make it obviously but a good number seem to. It’s not a huge money spinner but raises a bit.

Troika · 28/06/2018 16:57

I know you don’t want comments on the actual event but I think a) it’s a pretty niche interest and unlikely to attract the masses and b) it’s expensive!

£9 to go to something I don’t really want to go to but am going to purely to help the preschool? No. £3? More likely.

At my dc school the popular events are a bingo event (straight after school), pub quiz (sometimes straight after school, sometimes in the evening) and the summer fete. I’ll quite happily pay a couple of pounds to do the bingo or quiz, I’ll come to the summer fete for a few hours and spend money on the stalls there. I’ll pay £3 for my child to stay a bit longer after school and watch a film or go to a disco.

An open afternoon to look at work/ speak to staff goes down well with parents buying drinks and cake. Not everyone can make it obviously but a good number seem to. It’s not a huge money spinner but raises a bit.

SidesofFeet · 28/06/2018 16:58

Without trying to be rude, you've answered your own questions.
A scarf tying evening, just for women, target market aged 50+ for a pre school is laughable and downright ridiculous!
Furthermore, you say you had the "contacts" to organise it, that is another problem, these events always seem to involve someone who has "contacts" and it often seems more about promoting someone's business than school funds.

CoffeeOrSleep · 28/06/2018 17:12

The problem is really that people aren't as interested with pre-schools, their DCs are only there for just over a year, and many will end up with different schools (even if yours is in the grounds of the state primary!), so there's less incentive to get stuck in, making friends and fund raising, compared to a primary school.

A regular bake sale at pick up at 12 is a good idea.

But more, think about how much you need compared to the 3 hours funded and just ask for it. If you have to open for an extra half hour to justify the cost, do that.

The piggy bank is another great idea. You need to make it easy for people to help, or make them feel they have to.

CoffeeOrSleep · 28/06/2018 17:12

The problem is really that people aren't as interested with pre-schools, their DCs are only there for just over a year, and many will end up with different schools (even if yours is in the grounds of the state primary!), so there's less incentive to get stuck in, making friends and fund raising, compared to a primary school.

A regular bake sale at pick up at 12 is a good idea.

But more, think about how much you need compared to the 3 hours funded and just ask for it. If you have to open for an extra half hour to justify the cost, do that.

The piggy bank is another great idea. You need to make it easy for people to help, or make them feel they have to.

mummmy2017 · 28/06/2018 17:13

I'm 50 plus... No way would I go to this event... Nor do I wear a scarf... My mum is 70 plus... As she just snorted when I offered to book her a place... Unless you live in a very posh town your really hoping to get the mums to go to that sort of thing...
How about you change your selection group and go knock on some of the expensive houses In Your area an see if anyone not part of the pre school wants a night out.

craxmum · 28/06/2018 17:18

As a working single parent, I feel really weird when routinely asked to attend an event at 4 pm on a weekday for fundraising purposes. Or to stay for another hour after the drop off to discuss something important. A mixture of annoyance and guilt.
My work starts at 8 and ends at 6 in the best case. I just cannot make it, unless I take half a day leave. I donate a significant sum to the fund instead to compensate for my non-attendance - never got so much as a mention, compared to mums who bake truly vile cupcakes.

craxmum · 28/06/2018 17:20

As a working single parent, I feel really weird when routinely asked to attend an event at 4 pm on a weekday for fundraising purposes. Or to stay for another hour after the drop off to discuss something important. A mixture of annoyance and guilt.
My work starts at 8 and ends at 6 in the best case. I just cannot make it, unless I take half a day leave. I donate a significant sum to the fund instead to compensate for my non-attendance - never got so much as a mention, compared to mums who bake truly vile cupcakes.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 28/06/2018 17:22

This can’t be real surely? Nobody would actually think this is a good idea?

I’m not giving up my Friday night house parties to pay to spend hours with people I don’t like. Thank you very much.

craxmum · 28/06/2018 17:22

As a working single parent, I feel really weird when routinely asked to attend an event at 4 pm on a weekday for fundraising purposes. Or to stay for another hour after the drop off / pick up, to discuss something important. A mixture of annoyance and guilt, probably a bit of envy too.
My work starts at 8 and ends at 6 in the best case. I just cannot make it, unless I take half a day leave. I donate a significant sum to the fund instead to compensate for my non-attendance - never got so much as a mention, compared to stay-at-home mums who bake truly vile cupcakes I feel then obliged to buy :)

LilQueenie · 28/06/2018 17:25

Well I wouldn't attend because I don't drink, think its too expensive, would be at home with the pre-schooler at time of event, don't wear scarves and could easily learn it via youtube for free. sorry OP.

mindutopia · 28/06/2018 17:26

I wouldn’t go to a pamper evening sort of thing. I honestly can think of few things I’d want to do less! But I suspect that evenings are hard for preschool age parents. Mine is in reception now but the school has these sorts of evening events too. I’m at home with a bf baby in the evenings, but even if not, I’d rather be home with my husband as we’re busy all week, not hanging out with a bunch of randoms.

my2bundles · 28/06/2018 17:34

No childcare
Older children who have multiple fundraising activities each year for schools which adds up considerably.
Need to fund my children's interests and clubs

Organise a wear pyjamas to preschool day for the ids, some parents will be happy to donate £1 to that, anything more esp to those with multiple and older kids with fundraising activities in schools and endless dress in specific colour days is just to much.

Lindy2 · 28/06/2018 17:37

School summer fete, cake sale, Christmas fair type stuff -:I'm quite happy to support and spend a few £s.
Any type of evening event such as pamper nights, quiz nights etc I'm just not interested in and won't go to.
IMO the best fund raisers are quick and easy to attend, involve no pre booking and people have the choice of how much they actually want to spend and how long they go for.

Chattymummyhere · 28/06/2018 17:51

Also I think after a couple of children going though the motions of preschool / school you just become very meh about all the constant asking for money. You become a drop and run/Grab and go p

Chattymummyhere · 28/06/2018 17:52

Grab and go type parent.

That was meant to end with.

Booie09 · 28/06/2018 17:57

Maybe people just can't afford it!! Go you know everybody's financial situation?

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 28/06/2018 18:01

Just say ‘ we appreciate that people’s spare time is at a premium . However we really need the money for the school ‘
Please can you donate to this page ?

Might work

NeonK · 28/06/2018 18:02

I think you've really missed the mark with this 'event' op (I'm not sure scarf tying can really be an event).
You say 1000 women over 5 years - let's say 2 events a month, that's about 8 people at each. Giving you potential takings of £72 (setting aside it's not the right target market for a minute). Take off the cost of your prosecco and nibbles (and any other costs), you're barely left with a ha'penny.

That said, it's really hard to engage people for fundraising events for all the reasons people have said, even if their children are going to benefit directly. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Good luck.

JavaJava · 28/06/2018 18:03

Can't afford half the stuff they want money for and I certainly wouldn't give money for an event like that. I find many of the people who run PTAs don't have much of a grasp on the situations of others.

Iceweasel · 28/06/2018 18:15

I don't see the point of fundraisers that ask for money from the people they seek to benefit. I would rather pay the profit the preschool would make from my ticket or purchase directly in increased fees. Unless it was a reasonable price for me too, and something I actually wanted to purchase or attend.

WinkysTeatowel · 28/06/2018 18:16

I think someone else hit the nail in the head when they said how much can you expect the parents of 25 children to raise.

I don't know the ins and outs of the finance arrangement, but like all fundraising if you keep asking the same small group of people they get fed up.

blueberryporridge · 28/06/2018 18:19

As events management gigs go, don't give up your day job. Although it's highly unlikely anyone who organises a scarf thing workshop for women on a Friday night has a stunning career, let's face it.

I can't believe that some posters are being so rude to the OP. She is putting time and effort into helping the pre-school, which in turn is helping all the families which use it, yet some posters here think she is fair game for rudeness and insults. The one above is the worst so far but there have been some others which are quite objectionable too. It would be interesting to know how many of you rude people ever volunteer to do anything.

OP, I help fundraise for our school. It is a pretty thankless task, to be honest, because lots of people are happy to carp from the sidelines but very few are willing to put in any time or effort. I keep doing it, however, because I know the children appreciate what we organise and the things the proceeds from our fundraising are able to buy.

I think the "research in advance" suggestion is good but sometimes you only find out if something is going to work if you try it. Your scarf evening might have worked if you had targeted it at grannies of the pre-schoolers and their friends.

In my experience, the things that work best are those which involve minimal outlay and which involve the children in doing something, maybe with their parents and siblings which only costs a small amount to take part in. Discos for pupils, Christmas fetes, book swaps, bake sales all work quite well for us but we have to balance getting money in with not asking for money too often. Finding a parent who can identify possible sponsorship from local businesses or prepare grant applications can be very fruitful for larger amounts.

I love (not) the suggestions of just asking parents to write a cheque for £x00 - oh to live in such rarified circumstances. Unfortunately, where I live - and in many other communities around the country - one in five children is living below the poverty line and finding this kind of money is just not feasible for many families.

Of course, the real question is why we have to scrabble around at all trying to fundraise to pay for things which are not really extras, and the answer is that public services have been cut back to the bone although there still seems to be money for expensive flights for the heir to the throne, massive renovations to Buckingham Palace, and major investment benefiting the south-east primarily, etc, etc, etc ...

kimber83 · 28/06/2018 18:25

Terrible idea op sorry

None of my friends or family would sign-up

Mostly due to work commitments then commute on top on a Friday to get there -i wouldn't be able to without taking a half day annual leave - absolutely cannot justify this, it's prioritized for family commitments or doctors apts etc

It's also aimed at women but you mention parents... It's just more crap aimed at guilt tripping women because they haven't supported child related events. Why are dad's not also being targeted by your fund raising?? Are they too important working?!

Really, this wouldn't go down well at all with me, I'd stay quiet but quietly be annoyed.

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