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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect other parents to support a preschool fundraising events?

191 replies

Pregnantabroad · 28/06/2018 11:52

I'm organising a fundraiser for our small preschool. They're struggling to meet the funding needs so I've organised a ticketed evening event and I'm really surprised at how little support there is from other parents (availability and suitability aside - it's on a Friday night and aimed at women). I know I can sell the tickets to other friends and contacts in the village but I'm disappointed by the reaction of fellow parents.
I'm curious to know why people would and wouldn't support events and if there's anything I could do next time to influence parents better? Should I take the guilt-trip route (preschool struggling financially)? Or does that put people off? Any advice appreciated!

OP posts:
prayerforasungod · 28/06/2018 13:24

surely you shouldn't have picked a topic suitable for older women and asked young mums to attend?

JennyWren · 28/06/2018 13:24

I am a volunteer with a youth organisation - not a preschool, but an extracurricular activity/charity that similarly runs on a shoestring and tries to eek out the money and include everybody, and so on. We don't have staff fees to pay as all the leaders are volunteers, but we do have rent, insurance, activity materials and all the other costs to pay.

Something I have learnt over the last 20+ years doing this is: it costs what it costs. And parents need to have that spelled out to them. Yes, we have to be careful with the money we spend, but once we've done all the 'getting good value for X/Y/Z' exercises, what we're left with is a pretty fixed expenditure. And either we raise that money from parents, or the wider public/grants.

As a youth group, we charge parents a realistic fee - actually pretty much what it costs. We then do 2/3 fundraising events a year - that target the wider public, not the parents: a bag pack, service at a local event for which we get a payment in exchange, etc. We have found that our parents are busy people and in the main, relatively cash rich but time poor. They don't want to be forever sponsoring their own child to skip/sing/be silent (although the latter does have it's appeal!!!). They'd rather just be given a bill.

I assume that as a preschool you get a lot (most) of your funding through the 15/30 hours free childcare scheme - and that that doesn't actually meet your costs. Have you spelt it out to parents: For every half day your child attends, we have a shortfall in income of £X. So each term, we need to raise an additional £Y for every session in the week DC is with us - if DC is here 5 mornings, we need to raise 50p x 5 x 10 weeks = £25 top-up. Obviously, put in your own figures! But maybe tell parents how much you need, and invite them to just give you that.

You can't make them pay it, of course, but I'd bet that a lot would, just to avoid feeling obliged to attend a fundraiser - especially if you're in an area where scarf tying features on people's agenda...

And then you can focus your fundraising efforts on covering a much reduced shortfall. And it is much easier to apply for grant funding or even just a slot at the supermarket for a bag pack, if you can specifically say that you are fundraising to meet the shortfall for families who cannot afford to pay themselves.

A fun way to ask for a donation is to hold a 'non-event'. You can find instructions all over the internet - there's one here. Basically - sell tickets to an event that isn't going to take place. You receive the money, they receive the luxury of not having to go out. You can make it as wacky-sounding as you like - it can be a lot of fun.

MadMags · 28/06/2018 13:26

I always say I’d love to get a note with the booklist saying “please donate €100 for fundraising for the year” and that be that!

Oh, the wonderful freedom of not having to attend “fun” events with other “mummies and daddies” (vom!)

I just want to throw money at the problem and go about my business. I can’t be the only one!

gandalf456 · 28/06/2018 13:26

Our old nursery used to have a piggy bank. They said donate whatever you can - even if it's the odd 50p

JolieFleurie · 28/06/2018 13:27

there are definitely people that'd rather direct donate than traipse to 'fun' events - not everyone's kids even enjoys the kid themed stuff.

If you're in that category, ask your PTA how you can donate and what they're raising money for this year.

FizzyWizzyFlash · 28/06/2018 13:28

Fundraising would be ideal if they just stopped with the several events a year to buy raffles for a hamper I don't want.

And replaced it with a reminder to donate each month straight into nursery bank account in the newsletter with and update on how much has been raised so far. And then whatever money I had to spare each month I would gladly donate.

The masses of money asked of us all at once is annoying, inconvenient and tends to be bad timing around Christmas and summer.

I wouldn't want to give up my own time for an event when I could be doing housework. This year I get the idea that they want me to help at the sports day because I'm kid free during school hours. I don't want to because I barely sleep at night, my OH is ill and I have housework. I'm exhausted.

I would rather hand them some cash if they left me alone.

TheGreatestHo · 28/06/2018 13:28

Also consider promoting Easyfundraising when parents shop, and if you are registered as a charity - claim gift aid where possible

JolieFleurie · 28/06/2018 13:31

yeah easyfundraising has leaflets you can download and print out and things to tweet and email with almost no thought/personalisation.

You get 50p per Sainsburys grocery shop if you do that online, all main supermarkets are there.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 28/06/2018 13:32

I think the presenter of the event that you have booked has successfully given the demonstration to thousands of people before because it's been booked for the Ladies Circle /Probus/U3A events where a regular group of people gather every third Tuesday of the month for some sort of presentation. So the audience is pretty much guaranteed.

But a rallying call for same event on a Friday night for mums with preschoolers? Nope.

lifetothefull · 28/06/2018 13:33

I like that people are free to say their actual opinions on here. At the school gates, people will tell you it sounds like a lovely event and then not buy a ticket.
I like a cake sale or nearly new sale. With kids that age, you probably want an event you can bring the kids to.

JolieFleurie · 28/06/2018 13:34

as a mum of a preschooler, i barely have time to brush my hair let alone think about a splash of lipstick, scarves don't really enter the picture.

That said, whatever you did for an event, someone will not like it. One person's nice idea is another one's oh my goodness I would rather be dead.

JessicaJonesJacket · 28/06/2018 13:36

You've come at it the wrong way round. You should have asked for ideas; create a poll; put out a box where parents can vote for one of three options, etc. Then they a sense of ownership over the event and are already emotionally committed especially if 'their' event is the one that wins.
At our preschool we had teddy-bears' picnics, fetes, shows, mini market with stalls. All of them were held during the day at the weekend and all of them were family events. It gives you the widest possible target audience.

JessicaJonesJacket · 28/06/2018 13:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JessicaJonesJacket · 28/06/2018 13:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lifeisabeachsometimes · 28/06/2018 13:41

I get very tired of all things school. It is wearing.

If you want to do anything to raise money, do it for the kiddies. They will actually appreciate it. A small little fair after school (they can spend their pocket money) is always good. Why not organise donkey rides or dressing up day for a pound.

The very involvement of parents all the time is too much.

When I have free time I want to see my own friends, dh or bed!!! Not more of school in any capacity.

BluthsFrozenBananas · 28/06/2018 13:41

I’d rather just donate money when it comes down to it, although if it has to be an event I agree with pp, make it something which involves the children. Other than that I’ll happily buy things like tea towels or tote bag with my child’s artwork on it, I know they’re £££s more than in the shops, but they’re useful to have and can be given as presents to grandparents.

lifeisabeachsometimes · 28/06/2018 13:41

I get very tired of all things school. It is wearing.

If you want to do anything to raise money, do it for the kiddies. A small little fair after school (they can spend their pocket money) is always good. Why not organise donkey rides or dressing up day for a pound.

The very involvement of parents all the time is too much.

When I have free time I want to see my own friends, dh or bed!!! Not more of school in any capacity.

BluthsFrozenBananas · 28/06/2018 13:41

I’d rather just donate money when it comes down to it, although if it has to be an event I agree with pp, make it something which involves the children. Other than that I’ll happily buy things like tea towels or tote bag with my child’s artwork on it, I know they’re £££s more than in the shops, but they’re useful to have and can be given as presents to grandparents.

JessicaJonesJacket · 28/06/2018 13:41

oops sorry! My laptop is playing up!

flakesaretasty · 28/06/2018 13:43

I'd happily donate to the pre-school.

But I'll never attend a 'Girl's Beauty Night!' 'Ladies! Come and drink bubbles, and talk about shoes!' Or anything vapid. Anything that calls me a lady, or a girl immediately gets a 'sorry, can't make it'- ie. CBA to get a babysitter for anything that patronises me.

You're not asking for support, or donations. You're asking them to give up an evening, when many WAHMs may work, pay for a babysitter, AND attend something they don't want to go to? YABU.

lifeisabeachsometimes · 28/06/2018 13:44

I always find it strange why parents want to spend more time with other school parents, don't they want a life outside of school?

I would love to know if you are one of the school gate parents always organising quiz nights or nights out for other parents? Why?

I am afraid I am so guilty of saying that is a lovely idea and then not coming, mainly because I don't want to be rude and unsupportive..

Hadalifeonce · 28/06/2018 13:45

DH used to get cross with all the meetings about fundraising ideas, then the actual events, because of the time involved. He often said 'why not just ask everyone to contribute something once a year? It saves the same people coming up with ideas, then having the same people run the event'

YetAnotherNewName1000 · 28/06/2018 13:46

I'd be far more likely to donate money straight up, like a gfm page, than have to commit an evening of my time, organise childcare and then horrors...have to be sociable with people i don't know very well. For me, asking for money, in a way that i could ignore, if money was tight, would be the best way, so an email with a gfm link.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 28/06/2018 13:46

I can't get past an event aimed at over 50s being the theme for mums of pre schoolers on a Friday night.

flakesaretasty · 28/06/2018 13:47

Now, gin and poker, in a pub, I might attend. But even gin is becoming all 'girlified' and flowery bollocks.

Whisky and pontoon night.