Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect other parents to support a preschool fundraising events?

191 replies

Pregnantabroad · 28/06/2018 11:52

I'm organising a fundraiser for our small preschool. They're struggling to meet the funding needs so I've organised a ticketed evening event and I'm really surprised at how little support there is from other parents (availability and suitability aside - it's on a Friday night and aimed at women). I know I can sell the tickets to other friends and contacts in the village but I'm disappointed by the reaction of fellow parents.
I'm curious to know why people would and wouldn't support events and if there's anything I could do next time to influence parents better? Should I take the guilt-trip route (preschool struggling financially)? Or does that put people off? Any advice appreciated!

OP posts:
Original poster
Pregnantabroad · 28/06/2018 11:53

Eeek. Should read..AIBU to expect other parents to support a preschool fundraising event?

OP posts:
Melliegrantfirstlady · 28/06/2018 11:54

Make it clear from the outset that when they sign up to use the playgroup there is an expectation that parents will get involved and attend fundraisers. Tel them without their support session prices will have to increase or the group will fold.

mumtomaxwell · 28/06/2018 12:00

I’ve recently written to the treasurer of our PTA to tell them I will no longer be supporting their events financially. I am sick and tired of the constant demands for money and then the guilt trip accusations that I’m not prioritising my children’s education. Before you start spouting on about school budgets I am well aware of that too - I’m a teacher and have been for nearly 20years!!

Our PTA is run by rich yummy mummies who have no idea what it’s like to be a working parent on a budget. No I do not want to pay £12 for a class tea towel - that is fucking ridiculous. Nor do I want to fill a smarties tube with 20p, or go to some crap event hosted by said yummy mummies. I cannot afford any of that on top of school trips, after school clubs and ordering uniform for next year. I’m skint, the school is skint, and to use the words of TM - there’s no magic money tree!

UndergroundSun · 28/06/2018 12:00

What is the event? Summer fayre/ bake sale and Im there with my children. Women only evening event - not so much.

BlatantlyPlacemarking · 28/06/2018 12:12

Depends what it is. I am more than happy to donate to raffles and make cakes but if it’s a fashion evening as Pre schools often have, I’m not interested. It’s a bit like being forced to go to an Avon party. I’m not going to buy anything.

RabbitsAreTasty · 28/06/2018 12:13

What is the event?

Aimed at women? It's already putting me off and I don't know what it is. I would assume it would be full of vapid girly women, perhaps falsely and meanly, but that's where my thinking would be.

If I want to go out with mates would I want to go to your event? If it weren't a fundraiser would people go?

Also, I usually spend a Friday night with DH
If this event doesn't appeal to him and I'm a bit meh then I wouldn't buy a ticket.

Our school makes good money off a pub quiz night. Sold as tables of eight. PTA runs a paid bar but you can BYOB. It is always oversubscribed and great fun.

Chattymummyhere · 28/06/2018 12:15

Because we are fed up of being continuesly asked and frankly don’t like some of the events. Ok sure I will pay £1 for own clothes day or donate a bottle to wear their trainers. I will spend a few £££ at the fate but I’m not going to pamper evenings etc

AjasLipstick · 28/06/2018 12:16

What is the event? The problem is that Friday night is important for many families and going "out" for fundraising isn't most people's idea of fun.

What is the event? Why Friday night? Is it a quiz or something? I'm afraid I never go to things like that....I will always buy the (badly made) calendars and things which our preschool produce.

I once paid a tenner for a calendar which they said my DD had made. It was a picture she'd drawn, laminated and with one of those teeny tiny "calendars" stuck on the bottom. You couldn't even see the numbers on it!

They made us pay before we saw the product! I was so irritated. I'd never have paid that much if I'd known.

SoddingUnicorns · 28/06/2018 12:16

Is it possibly a money/childcare issue?

I’m actively involved with nursery fundraisers, but have never been to any evening ones (I don’t drink and I’m no good at peopling in large groups), although I do always donate. (Purely because I’ve been skint mum in the past and always said if I got to a financial place where I could donate I always would).

I think the evening/women only might be putting people off OP, sorry.

RabbitsAreTasty · 28/06/2018 12:19

If you just want cash to help the preschool then why not put out a request for cash?

Don't ask people to give up a Friday night as well as cash.

If you want to build a school community feel then don't charge and make it something fun where people want to join in and make friends.

Lastly, maybe you need to do some basic market research with your parents before you go to the trouble of setting up an event.

Bumpitybumper · 28/06/2018 12:20

I would actually be keen to donate to any fundraiser undertaken by my DC's preschool however, due to childcare issues I would not be able to attend an evening event. I would be much more keen to attend events in the daytime and have been to a whole host of fêtes, festivals etc that have been connected to lots of different causes. I suppose that's because selfishly I find them convenient and fun.

RedSkyAtNight · 28/06/2018 12:21

I have no interest in attending a "Friday night ticketed event".
Firstly because Friday nights are not great, and secondly because I struggle to find time to see my actual friends so don't want to be forced to socialise with comparative strangers.

I would rather donate the money directly to the pre-school, frankly.

I'm happy to support fundraising in other ways.
Have you asked the pre-school parents what sort of events they might like?

Sarahjconnor · 28/06/2018 12:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Racecardriver · 28/06/2018 12:22

YABU. I am happy to make a donation but no way in hell I would go to the trouble of arranging a Friday night to myself to waste it with preschool mummies doing some presumably rather sexist activity that I am magically supposed to live because I have a vagina.

mumtomaxwell · 28/06/2018 12:22

I realise my comment is a bit harsh and I’m sorry for that. As you can tell I feel very strongly about this and your OP touched a nerve Blush

runningkeenster · 28/06/2018 12:23

Because most events involve having to get a group together like a quiz, or having to go on your own to a shopping evening or similar. Nothing to do with not wanting to support fundraising, just don't like the types of events and they kind of mean you have to lots of other mummy friends.

Neither appeal and I'd rather just give £10.

Sarahjconnor · 28/06/2018 12:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 28/06/2018 12:24

I am assuming this is a state preschool i.e..attached to a local authority school? We send DC to a private nursery with preschool attached and they do fundraisers which I think is frankly a bloody cheek considering I pay them about 2 grand a month already.

Brunsdon1 · 28/06/2018 12:24

I'm another for childcare issues....not so much now but in the past I would have absolutely no childcare so events for mum's and women alone were not an option

I wouldn't go down the guilt trip route that would make me not be involved in anything.....have you asked the mum's in a survey what sort of events they would be able to support?

Tanaqui · 28/06/2018 12:27

I think if it is a “mums” night, Friday is a bad choice- lots of people like to go out with their partner/ friends, or just stay home together- some people feel a bit sad to be left home alone on a Friday!

Bumpitybumper · 28/06/2018 12:27

@RabbitsAreTasty
Aimed at women? It's already putting me off and I don't know what it is. I would assume it would be full of vapid girly women, perhaps falsely and meanly, but that's where my thinking would be.
This just comes across as incredibly misogynistic. Are all "girly" women vapid? Why would an event aimed at women just attract vapid women? You don't even know what type of event it is! It's just the age old sexist theory that anything that women might typically enjoy must be less worthwhile and inferior.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 28/06/2018 12:28

Also if you need money why not crowdfund rather than running events which must have overheads attached? Set up a JG page or GFM or similar and have a 'barometer' of how much you have raised visible. I am sure most parents who have a tenner to spare would rather just hand it over than attend a tedious event during a prime family time slot like Friday evening when they have been working and away from their children all week.

BlatantlyPlacemarking · 28/06/2018 12:29

Because most events involve having to get a group together like a quiz, or having to go on your own to a shopping evening or similar.

This is it really, unless you happen to know a lot of the Pre school mums why would you go on your own to some ticketed event and socialise with people you don’t know when you could spend your Friday evenings with your own family or friends.

DoAsYouWouldBeMumBy · 28/06/2018 12:30

I would try and go to a daytime event, but honestly, on an evening out, I want to relax and let my hair down with my friends. I just wouldn't want to do that with all the parents from the playground. If I got a bit tipsy and then had to see them all on the Monday, I'd be kind of mortified.

I don't get out much in the evenings, and would want to save those evenings for my friends, sorry!

starryeyed19 · 28/06/2018 12:31

I don't have the money and can't get out in the evenings because I don't have childcare. Am happy to send in £1 for dress down days etc... but don't really have a lot of cash to spare