£30 towards colleagues sympathy flowers

[wineoclock1]

A colleague who I've worked with for about 15 years lost her mum over the weekend. We hang around together with 5 others, but her and I are not close. She's part of the group and so I am polite, but she is often very rude to me and I know that she bitches about me behind my back. She is very unsupportive of events in my life, especially when my mum was critically ill. I've been asked to contribute £30 to flowers and some Cook vouchers for her, but I don't want to contribute. I was planning on sending a sympathy card, and I wouldn't mind £10 but I am really strapped for cash at the moment (and I don't want to tell my other colleagues about this.)
WWYD? - If I say no and that I'll just send a card, I'm really making a statement and look to the others that I am being unkind or do I just suck it up as one of those things!

Lots of people are writing that £30 each on flowers is a lot. Reading the OP this will also include the vouchers...so not £180 bunch of flowers!!

Regardless, I wouldn't be paying. I don't like people telling me how I will spend my money (especially on someone who hasn't been particularly nice to me). I would send a card and say you've already done something. You don't need to justify yourself.

I’m genuinely bewildered about the giving of gift vouchers at a bloody funeral.... it’s a funeral.. why give gifts ??

It's the tone of the thread CadyHeron, like a death doesn't matter.

My old allotment buddy died a couple of weeks ago.

I went to talk to some of the other allotment chaps and they said 'we all go sometime' - zero fucks given.

I had already asked for his plot by that point; he would be happy that I had asked, he wouldn't want it to go to some twatbadger and I am comfortable with that.

Life goes on. The OP should not have to scrimp and save just so her colleague gets flowers and vouchers. She is not the social services.

Thanks everyone for your comments. The lady organising the flowers and vouchers sent me a text last night on a separate subject, so I included in my reply that I was happy to £10 towards the flowers.

£30 is way over the top. A tenner each would buy a nice bunch of flowers. It seems the person who's closest to her is trying to push everyone into an overly generous response. To be honest, a personal card with a message is probably more meaningful.

I understand you don't want people to know that you're really short of money, but surely it is acceptable to say you can't produce £30 at short notice for an unplanned expense, without people assuming that you are short of money generally? I think you just have to bite the bullet and say no.

Sorry, wineoclock, crossposted. Glad you were able to sort it out.

thats a lot of money!! tell them you want to do your own card/flowers

£30 is insane.

Say no. You won't be the only one and even if others are planning to cough but silently seething they'll soon follow.

£10 is reasonable, £30 is way too much!

Well done OP