To ask you for reassurance that my fertility won't disappear at midnight?

[TheMagicCoffeeTable]

I am 30 tomorrow. Majority of my friends are 'settled' and are either pregnant, starting to try to concieve, or thinking about it. I've had a few comments this week from friends of a similar age and older colleages at work about it being "my turn next", "clocks ticking", "you don't want to leave it too late" etc, which I guess are meant well, but I find kinda rude/thoughtless tbh.

I would like children, maybe two, but not yet, probably think about starting to try when I'm 32. I am in a relationship and we have talked about kids. AIBU to ask you to reassure me with your stories about having kids post 30?

If you go on the pregnancy part of the forum there is an 40+ pregnancy thread. Ideally you don't want to leave it that late but at 32 you should be fine.

I had DS at 36. DS is 13 later this year

My SIL has her first at 36 and just had her second at 40.

I was still fertile at 43 and had a baby at 44. I am 50 now and still ovulate regularly. so no....provided you are fertile in the first place I'd say you possibly have a good ten years left

You'll probably be fine! Without wanting to be negative fertility declines from 26 and you haven't worried the last 4 years. Some people will get pregnant easily and some won't. It's up to you to evaluate the potential risk in waiting and it is a potential risk. You'll likely be absolutely textbook normal x

Bloody hell, 30!! I expected you to be turning 40 from the thread title, 35/36 at a push I suppose. At 30 you'll be fine for a few years yet! Happy birthday.

I broke up with my long term partner at 30 and was single. Everyone having babies.

Met DH at 31, had first baby at 34 and last at 39. Even by 39, I conceived in a month. In fact, I conceived quicker than at age 33.

Maybe I’m lucky, who knows, but most of my friends have had babies at similar ages

32 is not remotely unusual or old (these days) to be a first time mum. I'm sure youll be fine.

I had my 4th and 5th DC, at 37 and 41.

I had my first DC at 37, 2nd at 40. Both were conceived within 2 months of starting to try. The thing is until you start trying to conceive you won’t know if you can or not, regardless of your age, so I wouldn’t worry about it yet.

To be honest, I’m 43 and am still fertile. I would have another if DH was willing!

Happy birthday!!

Well, mine absolutely did take a nosedive - my AMH level (indicative of egg reserves) dropped by nearly 80% in the space of 6 months.

Admittedly this was at the age of 35, but its fairly common to have a gradual decline, followed by a very sudden drop - its not just a gradual decline at a steady rate.

Don't hang around OP, you will kick yourself if you do misjudge it. Could you go for initial fertility tests to give you more info upon which to make your decision to wait?

(...and forget egg freezing, its has very poor success rates, freezing actual embryos is far better)

age doesn’t really mean much with regards to fertility honestly. i’m 27 and had numerous tests which showed i have a very low ovarian reserve and i am likely to enter the menopause in the next couple of years. was told ivf was my only chance and we’d need to have it this year. luckily i fell pregnant naturally a few weeks later by a miracle. but then at the same time there are plenty of older women having children. the best bet would be to have a blood test to check fsh and amh levels which will give you an indication on your egg supply and then you’ll know that you have time to wait. obviously the majority of women will have no problems at all conceiving in their 30s and even 40s but you shouldn’t take it for granted

I had my first at 31, second at 33 & third at 35! We're not against having anymore, but would definitely be waiting another few years at least!

Don't leave it too long. I got married at 34 and we started to try for children when I was 35. After year of trying I was told we had age-related fertility issues. We had a couple of failed rounds of fertility treatment which were totally heartbreaking and stressful and also had a couple of early losses. I fell pregnant naturally at 39 and had DC 1, DC 2 came along naturally at 40. They're close in age (!). I went through menopause at 48. I totally realise how very lucky I am and I'm blessed to have my family. If you are settled with your partner and both want children then I wouldn't delay it much longer. I have a friend who was actually in exactly the same position as me in terms of starting to try for a family in her mid 30s and it didn't happen for her.

I’ve just had my first baby at 39! He’s almost 7mths...Took 5 cycles to conceive and relatively easy pregnancy and birth.
Hopefully he’ll have a sibling and I’ll be 41 if all goes to plan :)

...and being fertile into your 40s is actually pretty unusual too.

These threads tend to demonstrate quite significant bias as everyone who had a baby very late in life will come onto tell you about it, its not the norm IRL

its not the norm IRL

It may not be ‘the norm’ but I know 10+ people who have had babies in their 40’s. Of the 7 couples in my NCT group, 3 were 40+!
I’m pregnant with my third at 33 and still feel like a fairly young mum!

I had ds at 35, one colleague had twins at 38, and another colleague had her dd at 45

@ManorGreyHound it's the norm in my family.

On the other hand I've met women Catmums age who have difficulty concieving.

age doesn’t really mean much with regards to fertility honestly

Er, yeah.

Except of course it massively, massively does

First at 37, second at 38 - both with minimal effort, especially because before the first I was on the pill for 15+ years.

On average, at the age of 43, you have approx 1-2% chance of pregnancy per cycle, and if you do conceive, around a 1in 50 chance of that baby being born with a trisomy of some form.

Happy Birthday

Well, it might I suppose but unlikely. In fact lots of women have a short burst of higher fertility as they approach menopause.
I conceived at 44 after being told 10 years earlier that it was impossible. Nature has an odd sense of humour.

I’m 32 and currently 27+3 with DC2. It took 9 months to conceive him but without really trying

@SoyDora that's because we all use IVF.

People forget until we had reliable contraception it was common for women to have last babies in their 40s.

These are just averages though,which is why I suggested OP gets a fertility MOT to see where she fits in the spectrum of fertility.