To ask you for reassurance that my fertility won't disappear at midnight?

[TheMagicCoffeeTable]

I am 30 tomorrow. Majority of my friends are 'settled' and are either pregnant, starting to try to concieve, or thinking about it. I've had a few comments this week from friends of a similar age and older colleages at work about it being "my turn next", "clocks ticking", "you don't want to leave it too late" etc, which I guess are meant well, but I find kinda rude/thoughtless tbh.

I would like children, maybe two, but not yet, probably think about starting to try when I'm 32. I am in a relationship and we have talked about kids. AIBU to ask you to reassure me with your stories about having kids post 30?

I gave birth aged 34, 36 and 42.

1st at 33, 2nd at 36, 3rd at 38, 4th at 41....

My 4th was the only one that I didn’t need any fertility drugs to conceive...

Children and childcare can cost a fortune - my job wasn't secure enough and I didn't earn enough until my mid 30s.

We started ttc at nearly 32 and DS was born at nearly 35. It can take a while sometimes.

I thought fertility dropped more significantly at 35.
Average age for first child is 29.
I wouldn't worry at all.

First at 38, second at 41. At 30, you're a spring chicken.

I had my Dd1 when I was 26, and it took a few months to conceive her.

DS was conceived first try, when I was 30.

We won't mention dd2, who was conceived by accident when I was 33... But it was the only time we had sex that year, so it just illustrates the point that you're not going to go past it overnight

Happy birthday! Enjoy being able to get drunk and wallow in your hangover

what i meant was you can get people in their 20s who are infertile due to polycystic ovaries or endometriosis or like me, early menopause. or you can get women who fall pregnant in their late 40s or even 50s. it’s not a given that a woman of 20 is fertile and a woman of 50 is not..

I had my first at 35 and second at 37. Both planned and both conceived on the first month.

However, I regret not putting the thumb screws on DH to have them a few years earlier, for multiple reasons.

If your DP is the right man for you, and has the potential to be a good father, crack on is my advice.

Everyones different some conceive at the drop of a hat others like me don't.
At your age I was divorced from my first husband and yet to meet my now DH, I met him not long after my 30th we started TTC 2 years later and here I am at 37 undergoing my one and only round of IVF.
My infertility is unexplained so nothing would've been picked up on any fertility MOT as I've had those tests as part of my investigations and all in order.
As you can't tell which camp you'll be in until you actually TTC I'd crack on sooner rather than later if you are at a point in life where it's not likely to alter dramatically from one month to the next and a baby would be welcomed and not dreaded.

I started trying at 22, 10 years later despite clomid and injectable fertility drugs, no baby. At 33 renewed trying seriously without drugs.

Four months later conceived but early miscarriage. Three months later, conceived again, gave birth at 34 to DD who had trisomy 18. At 35 I gave birth to healthy DS conceived first attempt and now 37 am 11 weeks pregnant with DC3 who also was conceived on our first cycle of TTC. My fertility seemed to improve with age!

I had dd1 at 38 and dd2 just before turning 40.
I conceived dd2 on the first attempt.

I did worry about being much older than all the other Mom's but the majority of them at dd's school are mid 30's and older.

I had dd when I was 34 and ds at 37. Both times I got pregnant within a month of coming off the pill. My parents tried for 6 years to convince me in their 20s. Not always age that is the issue

I hate to sound like a miserable old bitch but these threads are so, so self indulgent and ridiculous.

30 is not too old to have a baby. 32 isn't too old to have a baby. 40 isn't too old to have a baby. 50 is.

HTH.

That thing about your mother's menopause wasn't right in my case 🤷🏼‍♀️
Mum had menopause early 40s, her Mum late 30s, I have had three cycles ttc and two pregnancies (age 37 for DC1 and 39 for impending DC2)
That fertility declining steeply after 35 was ancient research done in France (Stylist magazine did a good debunking article and said that 40 was more like it IIRC)

It’s good to share experiences but articunos post is key.

I had fertility issues in my 20s. I wouldn't be hanging around too much but hopefully you'll still be ok. I must attract people with fertility issues as a fair amount of friends and family have had problems.

YABU

30 is far from old in pregnancy terms. I thought you were going to say 35, and even then I’d have thought you were a bit U.

I know people focus on the stories they’ve heard of people struggling to conceive but the truth is it’s much more straightforward for most people.

Oh and yes I had mine post 30. Got pregnant first month with the first at 32 and second month with the second at 34.

38&41 when I had my two.

Ha ha! Don’t be ridiculous. Fertility doesn’t decline until about 38 (materially), and then you’ve got a higher risk of twins until 42, when yes the clock ticking is more serious. Have a biscuit.

Ok so how do you give biscuits?

= [ biscuit ]

I don’t know why some people are being so goady about the op asking a question. It certainly isn’t a stupid one. She is not self indulgent at all for asking.
There is a decline of fertility with age. Any fertility doctor would tell you that.
And whilst it’s certainly not drastic at 30, it has to depend on your own risk assessment of it, how much you want dc, and the size of the family that you want.
Women should be encouraged to think like this and weigh things up. There has to be a line between getting pregnant at 21 out of fear of your fertility getting less and less, which is ludicrous.
But equally ludicrous is that you think you could wait until 40 and just fall pregnant as soon as you want to. As we often hear about these women doing that, but then if you have a look at the fertility boards, for every woman that has became pregnant over 40 easily, there is likely to be one struggling.

Sorry you’ve had some nasty responses op.

Haha! I’m 35 today and pregnant !