To ask you for reassurance that my fertility won't disappear at midnight?

[TheMagicCoffeeTable]

I am 30 tomorrow. Majority of my friends are 'settled' and are either pregnant, starting to try to concieve, or thinking about it. I've had a few comments this week from friends of a similar age and older colleages at work about it being "my turn next", "clocks ticking", "you don't want to leave it too late" etc, which I guess are meant well, but I find kinda rude/thoughtless tbh.

I would like children, maybe two, but not yet, probably think about starting to try when I'm 32. I am in a relationship and we have talked about kids. AIBU to ask you to reassure me with your stories about having kids post 30?

People forget until we had reliable contraception it was common for women to have last babies in their 40s.

Having your first baby in your 40s is a slightly different matter though.

I had my first at 38 and my second 2 weeks before my 40th birthday. Conceived within 1 month of trying with DD1 and 2 months with DD2.
That said, I started perimenopause at 44 so my fertility did rapidly decline after 4.

Having your first baby in your 40s is a slightly different matter though

But the OP is only 30 and wants to start trying in a couple of years.
Surely 32 is a completely ‘normal’ age to start trying for a baby?

Obviously age does have a lot to do with fertility and yes, statistically you are already on the downward trend. However, I wouldn't worry if I were you. Most of my friends had DC in their late twenties and thirties.

If you are worried I think you can get a check to see roughly how many viable eggs you have left/overall fertility.

Don't forget it takes two to tango.......

I wouldn't risk it, I would start trying for the baby from now, Unless you can do a fertility MOT.

If you are worried get an AMH blood test. I wish I had. I had to have donor IVF at 38.

Got pregnant with first child at 34 after one try. Was told by the doctor a couple of years earlier to just give up contraception and 'see what happened' because of age, but I ignored her as I just wasn't ready to have a child then. I could have coped with being childless so was willing to 'risk' it not happening.

However, two best friends have fertility problems (one of whom is desperate for kids) so I absolutely don't take it for granted.

First at 32, second at 34 and third due just before I turn 37 (it’s just dawned on me I’m going to be 37 soon)

Bloody hell, 30!! I expected you to be turning 40 from the thread title, 35/36 at a push I suppose. At 30 you'll be fine for a few years yet! Happy birthday.

This^

But the OP is only 30 and wants to start trying in a couple of years.
Surely 32 is a completely ‘normal’ age to start trying for a baby?

Yes of course. I was replying to BlueBug45’s comment abou5 having babies over 40.

I'm expecting a baby in 6 weeks that was conceived on contraception at 42 🤦🏻‍♀️. I have a 2 and 5 yr old...so I wouldn't worry at 30.

Your chances of conceiving in your late 30s are not that far off what they are in your late 20s. The problem is that if there are issues they become harder to resolve the older you get, i.e. iVF is less successful. The fertility scaremongering at the moment is insane and causes needless anxiety for many women.

I was able to conceive at 41. My mother went through menopause in her 60s and I think the best indicator of the length of your fertility is when your mum's periods stopped. I really don't think you need to be anxious at 30, OP, although I wouldn't necessarily recommend waiting as long as I did.

I got pregnant accidentally/carelessly aged 31. When I was 34 we started trying for a second, nothing happened. Needed fertility treatment (clomid) in the end but did fortunately have dc2 at 35.

My advice, just make sure you are in peak physical condition...healthy weight, fit, don’t drink or smoke too much. It’s not a guarantee but it helps. 32 is not too old and judging by the school parents I know, it’s common to have first child around then.

I first started thinking about having a baby at age 39. Spoke to the gynea consultant at work who said average time to conceive for someone my age would be around 3.5 years and chances are we would not fall pregnant naturally. Your fertility does indeed decrease as you get older, however I really don't think that having a baby 'just' because you're 30 is a great idea. Babies are bloody hard work, so make sure you really want one. (FWIW, had my implant out at 39, had one cycle, got pregnant, had my first child aged 40)

I was able to conceive at 41. My mother went through menopause in her 60s and I think the best indicator of the length of your fertility is when your mum's periods stopped. I really don't think you need to be anxious at 30, OP, although I wouldn't necessarily recommend waiting as long as I did.

I have read that 10 years before your mum’s menopause is when you are releasing your last viable eggs. My mum had hers mid 40s (after conceiving easily at 35 and 37). So if it’s true 35 was last chance saloon for me. I started ttc at 29 and never did.

I’m almost 34 and have been trying for almost 2 years, been referred to the fertility clinic - I would have started trying earlier if I had known how hard it would be. But most people don’t struggle like this, just ignore them.

Happy birthday!

People act weird about this stuff. My own mother, who waited to have her children until her mid/late 30s at a time when it was much less common, told me when I was about 31 not to hang around. This is the one and only time she's decided to weigh in on my life choices. (I now have (almost) two children at the age of 35).

I've never heard of a fertility MOT; just had a quick google...and now thinking about booking this as a birthday present to myself:

Female Mini Fertility Profile
Our mini fertility check is a highly popular package which includes the following:

Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH) blood test
Ultrasound scan with Antral Follicle Count
Consultation with a fertility consultant

...but then think it's a bit ridiculous to be panicking about it already. It's just the amount of people who've commented about it lately has freaked me out a bit tbh.

This pictures helpful.
So at 30, yourikeligood of getting pregnant without help is 63%. By 40, it’s dropped to 32%. by 50 it’s 0%

Obviously, some women on here who had a babies at 40 will have been in the 32%. But that means 68% will have problems.

Don’t leave it too late if you’re desperate for children. But 30 isn’t past it, you’ve got a few years to decide.

I concieved DD at 36 in 3 cycles. Hyperemesis but otherwise uneventful pregnancy, normal delivery, and excellent post natal recovery.

Loving maternity leave in the sunshine!!

I was 32 when we started trying and it took 14 months so I will give birth at 34. Currently 20+2. Honestly at 32 it is pot luck whether you'll conceive first try or years later but I still wouldn't have started trying before we were ready.

I had my ds at 32 nearly 33.took 2 months to concieve

I wouldn’t leave it too much longer.
I want my family complete by 30 for numerous reasons, but worry about fertility is one of them, and pregnancy is so exhausting I think I’d really struggle if I’d waited until late 30s/40s. But that is a totally different point.
I know people who have struggled in their mid 30s and it did sway me into having my dc earlier. I have friends who won’t consider it before early/mid 30s, and I really hope it works out for them, but without a crystal ball, who knows.
It all depends on your overall health etc etc, but if you know you 100% want children (especially more that one child) can’t see your life without them, and are with the right partner I’d be thinking about conceiving in the next year or so.

Ironically my friends who had first babies 35-40 had no issues at all and although I was much younger when TTC I had far more problems and losses (have recently had DS fortunately). Tbh mostly I think it's luck of the draw. I would second having investigations though, had I known about my problems I could have avoided mcs.
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