Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To say something to randy beach couple?

85 replies

Goingalonenow · 27/06/2018 14:33

Because I don't think I can stop myself.

At the beach with DD who is happily playing next to me. A couple have camped right next to us and are a bit... handsy.

His hand has vanished into unknown territory. It's xrated. In public. In daytime. DD can see the lot, shall I say something?

OP posts:

Sunnyday1203 · 27/06/2018 16:11

Witnessed a similar thing in France, young couple getting carried away, made me feel yuk it was revolting and I am no prude and also kids around. If I had has children with me would have most def said something. Well OP.

BananaHarvest · 27/06/2018 16:16

Happened to me on a late train when I was bringing children home from the theatre. Lots of embarrassment all round with people looking at their feet or out of window,
I did ask them to refrain from intimate behaviour in public which they didn’t understand so I told them to stop having sex as we had no desire to see inside their underwear.
I did get a mouthful of verbal abuse but it also did the trick as they got off the train before it pulled away.
Well done. More people should say something in such circumstances.

CaptainBrickbeard · 27/06/2018 16:29

I really don’t think anyone is a boring old prude because they don’t want to watch fingering on the beach. Where do you draw the line, marta? Presumably you wouldn’t do an indulgent chuckle if they were going at it doggy style over the kids’ sandcastles? Is fingering ok but the limit? I’ve just realised I don’t actually want an answer to this question! It’s just not ok to engage in foreplay on the beach, other people don’t want to see it and that doesn’t make them the fun police!

PrivateDoor · 27/06/2018 16:31

I would have just moved away. Obviously it was very inappropriate but I prefer to not be confrontational.

Sparklyshoes16 · 27/06/2018 16:33

@martapolska2 have you actually read the post? Her DD was next to her!! Even if she wasn't it's still grim...they're in a public place...they knew Op and her DD was there it's just grim and out of order they could have found a more private place to go!!

Sparklyshoes16 · 27/06/2018 16:33

Well done OP for saying something!

CourtneyLovely · 27/06/2018 16:42

I'm far from prudish and have got up to all sorts of nasty stuff when I was young, and also when I was not so young. That's nasty though. Well done for saying something!

Buster72 · 27/06/2018 16:47

It is not a necessarily illegal to engage in sexual activity in front of children. It depends upon the age and intention of the participants.

Sex in public is also not specifically outlawed.

And I challenge anyone to say they never had a cheeky fumble at the beach/park/wood

TammySwansonTwo · 27/06/2018 16:53

It was by Bournemouth pier btw.

Of course it was. I remember going to a packed Bournemouth beach for the fireworks one summer evening and there was a couple theatrically shagging next to the pier - literally hundreds of people watching. Ugh.

TammySwansonTwo · 27/06/2018 16:54

I’ve lived by the beach most of the time I’ve been sexually active and have never engaged in sexual activity on the beach. You’d have to be mad. Also, have never been on these beaches when there haven’t been at least 10 people in my line of vision.

BananaToffo · 27/06/2018 16:59

That's rubbish, Buster.

The police may not always do anything about it but there are various laws in place that make sex in public an offence. And any behaviour that causes "alarm or distress" to others is illegal....especially so if it's children who are distressed.

Having sex in a public place (when there is no one around to see you) is not the same as having sex in public which is where you seem to be confused.

Remember Gillian Tayleforth giving her husband a "tummy massage"?

RhubarbRhubarbRhubarbRhubarb · 27/06/2018 17:00

And I challenge anyone to say they never had a cheeky fumble at the beach/park/wood

Never in the middle of the day when there are loads of people including young children, no. I may have indulged in some private al fresco sex, but it crosses a line when you’re in full view of someone who doesn’t want to see it. That’s just horrible and not “cheeky”, sexy or ok. It’s just a bit foul.

Buster72 · 27/06/2018 17:15

I am being quite pedantic here. There is no legislation outlawing sex in public.
You are talking about " outraging public decency " which covers o multitude of sins.

CaptainBrickbeard · 27/06/2018 17:22

And is one of that multitude maybe fingering on a beach in view of families???

BananaToffo · 27/06/2018 17:36

No, you are not being "pedantic"....you are being wrong.

Could a couple be arrested and charged for having sex in full view of other people? Yes. This means that their behaviour is illegal. The being arrested and charged bit is the clue. That generally only happens when something is illegal.

Just because a statute doesn't not specify "fingering in public" does not make the issue unclear.

BananaToffo · 27/06/2018 17:37

Oh, and it's not just outraging public decency...there are also public order laws as well.

Buster72 · 27/06/2018 17:39

Could they yes..
But there is no legislation outlawing sex in public. Please show me that.
Outraging public decency is only if "likely " to cause alarm and distress.

Buster72 · 27/06/2018 17:48

Really public order? Not a bit of it I am afraid...
The oldies are the goodies here "out raging public decency."

Tartyflette · 27/06/2018 17:48

www.thesun.co.uk/news/4041705/sex-public-uk-laws-nudity-decency-illegal/
sorry , it's the Soaraway Sun -- but they seem to cover the issue fairly well.
There's a ig difference between sexual activity in an isolated place and in a crowded space eg a beach. And the Police are more likely to act if complaints are made by members of the public.

Tartyflette · 27/06/2018 17:49

quote
"As a rule of thumb, you're probably fine in an extremely secluded location, but expect to have your collar felt if you get busy on a crowded beach."

CaptainBrickbeard · 27/06/2018 17:51

Buster, I think a couple fingering genitalia and stroking nipples is pretty likely to alarm and distress some people on a public beach in full view of families, don’t you?

BananaToffo · 27/06/2018 18:01

Seriously?

The police don't just decide for themselves whether anyone's broken the law or not, you know. There's no wiggle room. If they charge a couple for having sex in public...outraging public decency/public order...it is because the behaviour they have engaged in contravenes the law. Probably under a "decency" clause.

The issue is not so much the act itself, but who might be around to witness it. This is the bit you are not really getting.

Screwing up against a tree at midnight in a forest isn't outraging public decency because there's no public present.

In this case, the offence (if there is one) is not caused by a man fingering a woman (which is legal) but doing it in public, which is not...because such behaviour "outrages public decency".

Do you honestly think that because the wording of a statute is not graphic, something can therefore be considered "not specifically outlawed"?

Indecency is defined. Acting indecently in a public place is an offence.

topcat2014 · 27/06/2018 18:05

There should be signs like they used to have at swimming pools :)

BananaToffo · 27/06/2018 18:07

This is a bit like "using threatening behaviour".

Running around your front room with a knife screaming "I'm going to kill you" is not an offence if there's no one in your room except you. If there is...it is.

Things are often not an offence until you add other people to the scenario.

BananaToffo · 27/06/2018 18:07

"No petting".

Flip

1 2 3 4