to be absolutely fucking terrified?

[PereyButton]

I've posted twice already over the past few and will continue to do so until we get our results. Apologies if the serial posting is annoying however I'm in turmoil and find that mn support helps me through.

I'm due an amnio tomorrow. I'm absolutely terrified. Partly because of the miscarriage risk, partly because of the risk of illness in our baby. Partly because I don't know how I'm going to function with a three week wait for the results.

DSD is here at the weekend and she's baby obsessed. She normally sits with her hand on my belly, talks to her brother/sister, asks lots of questions. I just don't want to hear it, and can't stand the idea of potentially having to tell her we aren't having a baby any more (worst case scenario).

AIBU to not know what to do? I'm completely lost. I'm still working and can't focus. I'm catastrophising everything. How can I cope? I've had miscarriages in the past and have convinced myself that I am just not meant to have children. How do I get through the next few weeks?

Hope everything went ok @PereyButton

I had an amnio 8 years ago and I remember the fear very clearly. Mine was testing for Downs etc after a triple test and the results were back within a few of the longest days of my life. My daughter was three at the time and that was very hard. Also the baby was kicking like crazy the whole time as if to say oi don't forget about me.
I hope the procedure went well and that you get your results quickly. The wait is truly the worst so stay busy and be kind to yourself.

When I had amnio my consultant made me feel less apprehensive about the risk by sharing her personal stats with me - she was so experienced that the risk was much lower. You need to take it really really easy for a couple of days afterwards then get on with normal life till the results come.

Thinking of you OP, I had a similar scare, we were called in for an emergency scan as our blood results cane back high risk for spinabifida. The wait in the days until the scan appointment was hell! Thankfully we found out almost immediately at the scan that dd was fine! I shed many tears of relief! Sending positive thoughts for your little one to be fine and for the procedure to have gone smoothly.

I was like CaledonianQueen.
I had high result on bloods. They did it again and it came back at 2.5 which indicated Spinabifida and was a high result. I was at college and they phoned me to tell me. I thought they were making me an appointment for amnio but the consultant came on the phone and asked if I could come down. I suggested lunchtime and he said could I come now as they had the team ready. I was quite shocked and a friend walked down with me which gave me ten minutes to gather myself as I knew the anaesthetist had to come from another hospital to do it. I was 22 weeks so I knew I would be over the 24 weeks and for religious reasons it was a great dilemma too. I wanted to know and prepare myself and our other children. It was a harrowing wait and they rang with some results earlier but the ones we needed were three weeks. It was a harrowing wait and I found it very hard to concentrate as my studies were for a Nursery Nurse Diploma and my whole day was spent studying and pregnancy, babies and childcare! Our result was that she didn't have it but I had read up in detail as we had pedeatric books and she was born with a thumb print mark on the base of her spine like a previous son and I discovered I have it too. It is the lowest form.

I will add I was very sore afterwards and was on bed rest for a few days ( midwife) after being told I wouldn't know I had had it. I also had some contractions so look after yourself the next few days. It is a difficult time. For you and I hope your results are good news.
The three weeks gave me time to make the decision that I would go ahead with the pregnancy regardless of the outcome. I'm so glad I did. We didn't want to know the sex and I had a difficult birth and was most surprised to hear it was a girl after three sons.

I just wanted to lend my support op. I've been where you are and the wait is truly horrendous. I don't think it's possible to describe or appreciate it but it was one of the worst times of my life. There are not right of wrong answers. All the best.x

I hope all goes well. I’m sure many people are thinking of you today.

I hope your scan goes well. If you can afford it - can I recommend acupuncture to calm you down. It was amazing during IVF when my stress levels hit the roof.

Sorry I meant amnio!

Thank you everyone. The amnio went well (I think). I've been scared to move and stayed away from this thread for a day or so in fear that someone would post a horror story. I've posted a couple of more normal threads under a NC and it's been nice to get advice on normal things for once! Not scary amnio business. I'll be sure to keep you updated. Thanks everyone who has offered me kind words of advice. It has been invaluable

Please do. I’m glad it went well

Glad it went well

Hope everything goes well op

Thanks all. Not sure how I'm going to cope with the wait now!

Keep yourself busy OP and I hope It’s good news.

Just wondering how things are and whether you got any initial results back yet? Hope you’re ok